Hello out there :) I am glad i have found such and amazing forum and would like to introduce myself and tell a lil bit of my story maybe i could get some feedback or direction as to where i should be posting in the forums I am hoping to gain some friends and maybe some encouagement about my situation - as i honstly have no more friends or well anyone to turn too :( I am 28 years old from canada and have been married just over 2 years now ... big mistake sadly :( Married a man that i have been with for 10 years who cant hold a job, is emotionally abusive and an alcoholic/drug addict. He has ruined me - however i allowed him to. I have in the past 5 years became anti-social, addicted to substances, diagnosed with Depression and GAD and placed on medication. I left him - was forced to come back and now even more of a mess. I lost contact with my amazing counceller and my family dr recently increased my daily cipralex to 20mg from 10mg. This i fear was NOT for the better - i dont know if my situation or my meds are causing my new troubles but i can not and i mean not sleep ever for more then an hr - i panic and cant get it out - i want to cry but cant and worst of all I have started to self harm myself after horrible dreams that seem to push me to do this when i finally get to sleep :(( I dont know what to do anymore to fix my life but i would never ever hurt my loved ones and take my life. I am scared to mention all of this to my family dr - he doesnt seem to care and i am SO scared to be placed in the hospital and under my husbands signature if that makes any sense? He thinks i am crazy ... i am starting to think I am too :(( I just want my life back so much after all this time can i life normally again? Please tell me there is hope ... I love you all and admire your courage to help others and speak out xoxoxo

- Manda