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Thank you Lindsey.....

A good introduction for those new to treatment. As this appears to be a peer to peer run site, can I assume that being the #2 member means that you were instrumental in its formation? If so, may I congratulate you on a job very well done. If not, congrats are still in order for finding this site so soon after its inception. I have only been here for close to two days and feel my mental health issues have been enriched 20 fold! It is such an awesome place for us. I have previously worked in the MH field, as a peer counselor for the Peninsula Network of Mental Health Clients (PNMHC) in San Mateo County just south of San Francisco, CA. I am also a "Peer 2 Peer" (P2P) Mentor for the NAMI organization. We do classes for MHCs, 10 weeks, to combat self-stigma; three mentors to about 12 clients, two hours long. I know we complain a lot about the stigma we experience from others, but I don't feel it is near as devastating as the self-stigma experienced by so many of us. It has been my experience that this start to cripple us long before we are even diagnosed or realize what is 'wrong' with us.

I know in my case, I was soooooo relieved when I was diagnosed that I didnt want to leave the psych ward I had ended up in 5150ed by the local police department. My friends had called them repeatedly after losing contact with me for about three weeks. I was found holed up in my clinic in soiled underware, vomitus caked on my chest, with 13 empty Texas fifths laying around my office and a bottle (1000 count) of 5 mg. Valium and a bottle (1000 count) 100 mg. Phenobarbital opened, on their sides with pills spread out all over my desk and on the floor. I kept a loaded revolver in the bottom drawer and somehow had the 'where with all' to inform them as soon as they entered the premises. I had been in a blackout for about 20 days but somehow was responsive enough to be complient. The only thing I remember was when they decided to 5150 me, they said the reason was because many people committed suicide while they were in a blackout; I remember wondering how they would know. So after 3 days on an 'elopement' ward, my initial pDoc imformed that I was suffering from Depression. I was elated because I had been battling alcoholism for 18 years prior to this event, and wondered why after three, five, four and then 6 years stints, I never could attain being joyous, happy and free. For that reason, the self loathing was lifted. And believe me I follow all the suggestions that were to be had in AA. Ten days later, pDoc said she thought I was suffering from bipolar, rapid cycler, due to my rapid turn around.

Well, that is all water under the bridge now, I am just a panicky agoraphobic with an anxiety disorder and dysthymia. What a relief. In the 11 years since then I have been on a plephera of psych meds none of which were very good for me until now. For the past 6 weeks I have felt better than I have felt for past 40 years, maybe longer (unless I was high, but this isn't transient).

Wow, I have really bent your ear for a bit, I best get off the 'puter and feed my cat.

BE Peace and go safely..... wayne