Hi TBT, yes i'm on Mertazipine, i've been on various meds for 5 yrs.
My son was only tested for fragile X thats all, the services are bad here.


Torchwood

Hi, I hope I've put this in the right place (let me know if I've not!)

Although I know my parents support me, they don't seemed to have grasped exactly what is going on with me. I try and explain to them the reasons behind my feelings and actions, so that they can understand why I'm feeling low and bad about myself. But they don't seem to really commit this to memory. Nor have I seen my Dad make any effort to follow up on a book I told him about that would help explain it to him.

So in the end they end up making things worse for me. Yelling at me like they did when I was a kid, rather than being able to think maybe there's a 'good' reason I'm so upset. Or end up helping to eroding my self-esteem by, for example, making comments about me talking too much, which particularly hurts considering that until I hit 18 I barely spoke at all.

How can I get across to them that it is important they understand that their role in my recovery is crucial, and that therefore they need to take on board what I say and apply it to what they do? How can I go about this without sounding like I'm blaming them or expecting them to do everything?

Thanks.

EverBHappy

I did not write this myself, found it on a web site some time ago. When I first came across this it made me think of my own adolesents and how differently I have tryed to treat my own son who is now nearly 21. Upon reading your post it came to mind again, it does not hold any anwseres as such but I feel it may relate to how you are feeling. I feel that what ever age we are, at times even as adults parents may treat us as a child.

[size="3"][/size]Will you please just listen?
AN adolescent's plea to adults

When I ask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have not done what I have asked.

When I ask you to listen and you start telling me why I shouldn't feel the way I do, you are invalidating my feelings.

When I ask you to listen and you start trying to solve my problem, I feel underedtimated and disempowered.

When I ask you to listen and you start telling me what I need to do I feel offended, pressured and controlled.

When I ask you to listen, it does not mean I am helpless. I may be faltering, depressed or discouraged, but I am not helpless.

When I ask you to listen and you do things which I can and need to do for myself, you hurt my self-esteem.

But when you accept the way I feel, then I don't need to spend time and energy trying to defend myself or convince you, and I can focus on figuring out why I feel the way I feel and what to do about it.

And when Ido that, I don't need advice, just support, trust and encouragement.

Please remember that what you think are irrational feelings always make sense if you take time to listen and understand me.

Anon.

Good luck

Tanz

Thanks Tanz for posting that poem you'd found.

It explains exactly how I feel in a way that hopefully my folks can understand. In the past I think my slightly clumsy attempts have ended up with them feeling as if I'm having a go at them, so I think I'll try showing them this.

Cheers for your help!

I fell in love with a married man and this person was my colleague….
We used to work together, have lunch 2gether……And finally we fell in love.....
We discussed the matter and he said that he will divorce his wife because he cannot cheat on her anymore. But before he could say anything his wife announced him that she is pregnant so; he decided that he does not want to leave his wife. He feels responsible towards the child and is also eager to have a baby. Hence, like 2 mature persons we decided to part ways. It was very hurtful but we do know that it was for a good reason. I took a job in another city far from him…just yesterday I got to know that I’m pregnant too. In this case what should I do? I do not want to tell him about it but I also feel that he has the right to know. Help me….

Amazing poem, Tanz

That explains how I feel sometimes, not necessarily to adults but with people in general, so yeah very cool

Hi,

I am the mother of a 21 yr. old son who was diagnosed in Gr. 6 with ADD. He has not finished H.School, tho he always tells everyone is working on it, which is all B.S. (i take it he would like to, but for him to do anything school related is not going to happen).

He has had 'jobs', lost a few, gets extremely upset when he doesn't get paid on time, runs out of money quickly, gets mad, gets rude and obnoxious with his wording, calls the boss terrible names (to us), tries to be friendly with big sis when she visits, but she hates his ways, so has brushed him off only to have him run up the street calling us all names, phycotic etc.

He has been called phycotic by friends.. who knows what he did!
He went balistic one year, his then girl friend was at a party w/him and us, a company due, when all hell broke loose, we pulled them away from the event, my son screamed on the corner at everyone who looked at him, he was animated and couldn't listen, my husband had to pretty much hold him down on the corner waiting for a taxi.

The list goes on.......

He has been involved with the police on occasion, arrested due to drunkeness and smokes heaps of weed.

We have suggested everything! Seeing someone, talking to someone, taking a course, going to visit someone, stop drinking, -- seems when he drinks he really changes...He won't stop.

I am tired, forelorn, disturbed this is MY son who I raised. I cannot believe this adorable boy has turned out this way. My daughter blames my husband and I for not doing anything radical, like kicking him out.

He has no respect for anything we say.. ie: can u clean your room please? It will take him a couple of weeks living in this whirlwind of MESS till it happens... we have given him an ultimatim, doesn't work.

Big Sigh,

Planetblue -

Well, I am new here and new to even attempting to take steps in figuring out and diagnosing what my problem(s) are. I am currently 27 with a 3 year old daughter and I never thought I had issues but outside influences have made me think otherwise. What I thought was just a bad temper that I had developed from an early age has now turned into what I think is actually depression. I have not been anywhere to talk, but have taken samples of Lexapro which did help.

My issues? As stated above very short fused, I have a very negative attitude in fact that was mentioned in my last performance review at work. I am withdrawn from things I used to be interested in. The only reason I get out of bed everyday is not because I want to, but because I absolutely have to. I often feel life is more trouble then it is worth and some nights think about different ways to commit suicide. I have had thoughts of suicide since I was approx. 11 and when I told my parents they did get upset, but never took any action and claimed it was an attempt to get attention. So from that point on I took that assumption and stuck with it never second guessing anything. I could never act on those thoughts since I have a family that depends on me and hurting them would not be fair at all. I am starting to think that maybe sticking it out because I absolutely HAVE to is not good.

My childhood was not the greatest which I believe is a major cause in this. Both parents were alcoholics and violence was a regular thing. Screaming, hitting, guns held to each other, etc. That continued until I was 13 when my father passed away and things went further down the spiral being he was the bread winner and kept what little stability existed.

So, besides that I cant think of a reason that I should feel this way. My life has gotten better through time in other respects, yet I still hold on to these thoughts and feelings. I know anti-depressants are not the solution, but merely a temporary means until one is found. So, is this depression? Is consulting someone the right answer? What is the right person to see, psychiatrist or psychotherapist? Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

hello all

I have an adult daughter, she's 25. We found out she had mental health issues when she was in high shcool. She started cutting herself and over dosing on tylenol. She was diagnosed with major depression. They also mentined some personality disorder tendensies. We went through years of hell tring to get her on meds and with the right doctor. She was hospitilized a couple times.

She's had two children since. After her first one she had a breakdown. She ended up with postpartem depression. That was a very tring time. Then the man she's with had his parents living with them. In two years both his parents died. One at the home in front of them. She did well after the second child but money has been a real hardship for them.

Through all this i've had my own issues and bouts of depression. I'm not happy in my marrige, we have money problems, compounded by helping out the daughter. I was a stay at home mom without a high shcool education and therfor can not seem to get a job. Did finally get one i really liked and then they closed the store and i lost the job. It just seems like it never rains but pours. I have no family to fall back on as we're estranged. I'm going through menopause.

It's all just becoming too much for me. I called the dr on Wed, crying and asked for antidepressent. I'd taken paxil a few years ago and it seemed to help. I'm extreamly stressed. I jump at every noise or movment. I can't consentrate. I used to love to read and i can't now. My stomach burns, my jaw locks. I want to scream.

I worry about the day i die as i now she won't be able to handle it. Will it never end.

Life Sucks, then you die

Hi and Welcome to DF guiderbarb

It is good to have you here. I am sorry that you are suffering so much and that your daughter has too. You have done so much for her, now its time to take care of you. I am glad that you went to the doc and I hope each day gets easier. Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace

I don't know if I'm posting this correctly but I guess we'll see. I am currently suffering from depression. I don't always suffer but it seems to grip me every now and then. I will make friends but it's hard to keep them because when the feelings resurface, I shut down. I can' go out. I wouldn't take phone calls or text messages. It doesn't take much and they keep me at a distance. I'm sure it's because I'm either really friendly or hiding from them so to speak.


I think the most recent bout has been brought on because of a recent relationship. I don't really date that often but I happened to meet a man that I really connected with. I should have stayed away because he told me he was separated and not ready for a committed relationship. I continued on and before long we were into a physical relationship. Because we weren't committed I began to become paranoid. I was always afraid he was out with other women. He would go out with friends and I would almost panic. He was a member of a local dating website and he told me he thought it was fun but that he didn't really go on many dates. He did spend a large amount of time with me and he told me I shouldn't worry. He told me he wasn't dating around and he enjoyed spending time with me. That however was not good enough. When we weren't together I would torture myself with worry. If he didn't text or call I would imagine him with someone else. It wasn't too long and he told me he thought things were getting too serious and he backed off. He told me he felt crowded and owned. He wasn't ready for this and wasn't prepared because of it being such a bad time in his life. He want's to be friends but I don't think I can.

Anyway...I think this started the whole thing. Now I'm depressed about not having friends, having a lousy job and not being pretty or skinny enough to have him. Originally I had thought I was a bit more attractive that he was. In my mind I thought he would be proud to have me. Now he has let me go and seemingly moved on continuing to go out with friends and socialize without missing me at all.

Now I question my own self worth. I feel I must have nothing to offer. I am seeking professional help at the moment but basically I am suffering...

I hope I didn't unload too much...I almost feel guilty complaining.

Hi and Welcome to DF meanderway

There is no need to feel guilty at all. That is what we are here for and you are certainly not complaining. You are in pain. You can post all you want, if you need to get it out. I am so sorry that your relationship with this man ending, brought on depression. You deserve someone better. Please make yourself feel at home.

Trace