Any new members looking to share??  Here is your place to start!   :D

Hi there and ty for this article I have two boys 7 and 9 both have been diagnosed with ADHD and Bi-Polar disorder. I am having some really big problems right now with them and there effect on me and that affecting our marriage. It has left me depressed and considering outside and/or alternative placement temporarley for the children until i get a grasp and or can find some sound help. I love my boys to death I do but right now my heart is broken and my spirit and sole have been beating to shredds and I see no light at the end of the tunnel and I hate getting up more and more daily. TY for giving me someplace to let it all out.

Welcome to DF, Mazzy!

Wow!  2 boys with ADHD as well as bi-polar...you surely do have your hands full!  I can see how that would be a strain on you, your husband, and your marriage.  Personally, I think it is a priority to keep your marriage strong - that is what your sons need to see as well - so, hard as it is, I can understand you perhaps placing them elsewhere for a time.  If you end up placing them outside your home for a while, DO NOT feel guilty.  If that happens, it is ultimately for their best interests.

If your boys have been diagnosed, I assume you are getting some sort of psychiatric help.  Are you also getting help for yourself?  If you are depressed (understandable!) you may need medication and certainly you and your whole family need counseling!  I hope that you will look into that, and that your husband will also be involved.

In my state there are community mental health clinics that provide both psychiatric and psychological help on a sliding fee scale based on income.  We also have an organization called (I believe) Children's Mental Health Association of Michigan, which provides respite care for families dealing with their kids mental health problems.  Often, trained caregivers come into the home so that you and/or your hubby can get some time away.  Sometimes, the respite caregivers keep the children at their homes for a weekend.  Of course, if longer care is needed there is the possibility of foster care.  Again, whatever you choose to do is being done for the good of your entire family.  There is no stigma to "putting your kids away" when the entire goal is to get your family stable and back together again.

Mazzy, you feel free to post here all you want.  There is plenty of support.  Believe it or not, you truly are not alone.  Most every member here is dealing with depression, and some of us also have other mental problems, children with mental problems, etc.  I know of at least one other mother who has posted in this room whose story sounds very similar to yours.  So, if it helps any, you really aren't alone!

Is there a support group in your area for moms in your situation?  If you contact local therapists, hospitals, and/or crisis intervention phone lines you may find plenty of practical support nearby.  Don't give up, and keep sharing with us.  You will make it, and your boys will too!  You are obviously a caring, loving mother.  Your sons will benefit from your concern.  Keep doing what you know is best - get help, and talk to us.  Your life will get better.

(((((Mazzy)))))

Karen

Hi...My name is Andrea. I am a stay at home mom to 3 wonderful, but trying children. My two older children ages 9 & 7 have been diagnosed with ADHD, and my 2 year old is currently awaiting an evaluation. He is currently going to be evaluated for austim and ADHD. He is also going to see a cranio-sacral (sp?) specialist. They aren't sure what is wrong with him, and really he's still a bit young to correctly diagnose. He's a wonderful child most of the time, but he has this other side about him that is scary, angry and full of rage. It's sad to say, but I often wonder what life is going to be like when he's older and stronger. Right now, I can hold him tight and try to comfort him through the outburst even though he's often violent and resistant to the comfort, but I'm scared about when he's 6 or 7. I am currently undergoing my own therapy for depression and panic/anxiety attacks so taking on all this alone isn't easy. My husband is helpful when he's around, but he works 2 jobs and goes to school. He's often not home until after 10:30 most nights and he leaves before anyone wakes up. Well, thanks for letting me get that out.

Dear Andrea,

I replied to a post of yours in another thread; hopefully you've seen that as well as the posts from other members here.

Reading your intro in this thread...wow!  You have your hands full!  It does sound like you are seeking good professional support.  Keep at that, and if needed get second and third opinions.  Science is learning more about mental health all the time; hopefully there will be better help for you and your children soon.

You could probably use some respite help.  You might want to ask your health-care folks if there is some assistance available so you can get a break even for a few hours a week.  Or maybe you could get a friend of family member to help you with that.  I wonder, too, if there are any support groups for parents of MI/ED children in your area.  I bet you would love to have some adult conversation time, with your hubby away so much!  

We are glad you are here.  Look around and get to know our members.  There are some wonderful, supportive folks here.  Good luck to you, and keep posting!

Karen

Not sure where to begin.....just to unLoad my mind ...i'm not on medication...don't think medication helps..tried it once...but wht vexed me earlier still vexes me now..so i don't know how to handle it....maybe if u could guide me a bit

TheLastBurden,

Welcome to DF! If you are here mostly to get info to help yourself with depression, you may find more help in the Depression Central room, or in any of the rooms that fit what you struggle with.

In this room we generally talk about our children who have problems with depression or related issues, or how it feels to be children of depressed people. Do you have kids that you are worried about or have questions about? Feel free to come out and ask right here. Otherwise, you might want to read through and post in one of the other rooms.

Karen

Hi, I'm new. I actually don't suffer from depression but my mother does and her behaviour is setting me up perfectly to join her. It's complicated story but I hope you'll read on and give me some advice.
I'm a young male and I've finished college and gotten my 1st job. My family (I have one brother) moved from Asia when I was a baby to Ireland. We were raised by mother while my father went to work. When I was 12 my father died of cancer. My mother took it very hard and it was a very difficult situation. She was in a foreign country, had no family, few friends, no job and had 2 raise two teenagers. Fortunately we had the mortgage paid off and my father had planned well when he was sick so we never went hungry and my mum managed doing part time work and minding us. She was deeply unhappy but she kept going for us.
The true problem in her depression is only starting to develop now. My brother and I don't need her to look after us anymore. She has lost the thing that kept her going. Even worse she is bitter and hateful towards us because she "gave up" her life for us. She hates living in this foreign country but stayed for us. I don't want to seem ungrateful but I don't know what I can give back. My mother has no hobbies, no interests, almost no friends. She almost impossible to talk to because she is so engrossed in her self pity that any conversation will be steered back towards how her life is horrible. The fact that she is a widow makes it very hard for her to keep/start/maintain friendships because a lot of people are wary that she is "out to steal their husbands" (this may seem extreme, but any widows out there know what I mean).
We're now stuck in vicious circle. My mother is hateful towards me because I don't need her and in return I want to get away from her even further which makes her hate me even more. She feels that we are ungrateful towards her "sacrifice" but by the same token I make many sacrifices so that I spend more time with her (even when I just shouted at). I've tried to convince her to go to counseller but she is convinced that such things are for schizophreniacs and insane people (she was raised by her grandparents so she has many old fashioned views).
I really don't know what to do. In the end she can only help herself but the way she is so hateful and mean sometimes I just wish I could cut her out of my life. What would the good son do? I've tried listening and helping but its either been useless or just unthanked. I thought it might be a good idea for her to move back to Asia but I don't think she'll be able to leave us after focusing her life solely on my brother and I. I love my mother, she has given a lot to me of which I'm very grateful but we need to find ways of happy independent lives which we can share with each other. At the moment I feel like whenever I'm with her, her mood becomes my mood because she complains and depresses everyone.

{{{{{tomdublin}}}}}

Wow, what a difficult situation!

I think your first priority needs to be taking care of yourself. It is great (and important) that you try to respect and help your mother, but you need to keep yourself healthy in order to help her.

You might really benefit from some sort of counseling or talk therapy. I am especially concerned because of how your mother is treating you so hatefully. It seems like you need someone to share with and to discuss how this effects you. Also, if you are truly becoming depressed yourself, maybe you should talk to your doctor to see if medication might help you.

Perhaps you can be of help to your mother, but for her more serious problems she is going to have to get professional help. You can't make her feel any certain way, and it is not too likely that you can even discuss feelings with her considering how she is behaving right now. Hopefully you can (when you have a handle on your own feelings) encourage her to get proper help. But the most important thing is that you get and keep yourself healthy.

You will find lots of supportive folks here at DF. Keep sharing, that always helps!

Karen

Thanks for the support.
I'm not concerned about my own health. Perhaps depression is too strong a word to describe my own feelings. It's more unhappiness. Part of the problem is that when I'm not visiting or speaking to my mother I live a very happy life. An easy fix to my unhappiness would be to just stop trying to help her and get on with me own life. I could stop visiting her, change my number and just post her a cheque every so often and ignore her (I have thought these thoughts before and felt horribly guilty doing so). However, I'm not going to consider cutting my mother out of my life just because she has depression.
My true problem is how do you keep someone with depression in your life even when they make you unhappy. Is there someway I can get my mother to see that her depression isn't my fault (or anyones) and she shouldn't take it out on me. I guess its a pretty common problem here: you want to help someone with depression but they are horrible to bear because of their negativity.

strange analogy but i think it describes how i'm feeling; I feel like I'm trying to hug a cactus, I'm hoping that if I hug long or hard enough the spines will fall off and me and the cactus will get along fine but its hard to keeping hugging when it hurts and I could easily just walk away.

This post has been edited by tomdublin: Jan 5 2006, 12:42 PM

Of course not! I was just suggesting that you get counseling or something to help you figure out how to deal with your mother and her depression without it leaving you feeling so guilty and low.



Yes! Many of us deal with this, I think. The only thing I know to do (what helped me in dealing with my own mother when she treats me very negatively) is to learn about what is going on and how to protect yourself. Like you said, while still keeping your relationship with your mother. I got a lot of help with that from my talk therapist/counselor.



I LOVE the analogy! Now to figure out how to keep yourself from getting poked, while still hugging - or at least standing nearby....

Keep reading and posting around the board. You will find plenty of support and ideas to help.

Karen (currently on as administrator)

Thankyou for your help

Welcome, Jamin! Feel free to comment on anything on the board that interests you.

I'm an older parent with a 44-year old son who is talking suicide; he is currently being treated with Cymbalta and Lithium with no positive results. I need help to find someone who can advise me how to help him. He knows he can talk to me and he does - we have a very good, open line of communication but I still feel helpless to prevent his taking his own life. What can I do? Thanks.

Welcom to DF Amber.

I have no words of wisdom albeit I do have an older son. (36).
Continue to support him and go with him to family councling if you can which is very important. You can also consult with a therapist on your own privately for yourself and find and do a goup therapy, which may help you to help your son. My heart goes out to you..

Most of all, Keep posting here as you will get beaucoup advice from all our wonderful Moderators and Members alike.

Take very good care of yourself so you can take very good care of your Son.

Welcome, Amber!

I'm sorry for the pain your son is suffering. Lindsay has given you some great advice. Probably the best thing you can do is what you already do - be there for him and keep the communication open. You cannot force him to get help, but you might suggest he consider a different doctor or talk to his current doc about med changes. He needs to be sure his doctor knows how he is feeling.

Of course, besides considering therapy as Lindsay suggested, encourage your son to call a crisis help line (see the runner across the top of each page here) when he is in crisis. If he is seriously thinking suicide, he should go directly to an emergency room or call 911.

Like Lindsay said, you must take good care of yourself. You have to be healthy in able to be there for your son. Consider therapy or a support group to get support just for you. And do try to find ways to do special things for yourself. I know how much it hurts us when our kiddos are in serious pain, and you are doing all that you can to help him. Now be sure to take good care of YOU as well.

Keep sharing with us, that usually helps.

Karen (ados, currently on as Admin)

I am a lesbian and in a gay relationship. We have a child and I am scared of her being depressed by my partner, my partner is seriously depressed and has not been diagnosed with anything other than manic depression, she is going to see a psychiatrist soon though and so am I. I have a lot of issues and try to hide everything from our little one. She is 2 and a half years old and is a little angel sent from above. I just dont want her to pick it up is all.

Welcome to DF, tinker!

First of all, manic depression (bipolar disorder) is HUGE - it can be a very serious illness, so it is good that she is seeing a doctor soon. There are good treatments, but it is very important to continue working with the doc and taking the meds.

It is also a good idea that you will get some sort of counseling. When we are trying to support someone with a mental illness, we need all the help we can get!

We do have a topic in this room where other parents have shared about their fears of hurting their children (usually emotionally) because of their mental illness. Look around; hopefully you will find something helpful. If your concern has to do at all with the fact that you and your daughter's other parent are gay, perhaps you will find good info in our GLBT room as well. You might want to start your own topic in there with any questions along that line. I am not sure if they've had discussions about raising children in that room.

Do look here in this room, Parents and Kids, because you will find you aren't alone in your concerns!!

Keep sharing with us, and seeking help.

Karen

My son was diagnosed with Major Depression after an attempted suicide last month. Our family has been through some tough times this last year. His grandfather (my wife's dad) passed away in May after suffering from asbestosis for a year, his Mom fell down the steps, broke her leg in 4 places in January and is still recovering.

He lives with us and attends a local college. He wanted to drop out last semester. I insisted he stay in school. I put a lot of pressure on him these last 6 months and wasn't paying attention to his mood change because of everything else that was going on in our lives. My wife's family doctor prescribed an anti-depressent to help her get through her father's illness last summer. She never took it and we forgot it was in the house. My son found them and took the entire bottle. Fortunately, at the last minute he decided life was worth living and called his best friend. I was working and my wife was taking care of her mother. I thank God every day that his friend was home. I can't imagine not having him around anymore. He got through the drug OD and was admitted to a crisis center. The doctor prescribed Lexapro for him. During the exit interview at the crisis center the therapist said that he should be able to stop his meds in 12 to 18 months. He's already seeing a therapist and has an appointment with a Psychiatrist (SP)? next week.

Since this has happened I've been worried sick about him. I'm doing my best to act normal with him but I can't help asking if he's OK and is the medication helping, etc, etc. I have no prior experience with any of the drugs or treatments. From what I've read these drugs can enhance suicidal tendencies for the first few weeks of use.

I'm trying not to overwhelm him and make him feel bad, but I want him to know we care about him and are worried about his health. I'm not sure if I'm doing good or causing him more stress. Has anyone else been through this? I really could use some advice.

(((((Bill)))))

How very scary for you and your family!!!

All three of my (now) adult sons have dealt with depression at one time or another; one more severely than the others. It is very hard to know how to approach them about it. I guess (as a depression-sufferer myself) I'd suggest you try to talk to him about it. Tell him just what you've said here: that you care very much about him, you couldn't stand to see anything happen to him. Tell him you would love to support him in any way you can, and if he'd like to talk with you, you would like that. Tell him that you have plenty of questions, but you don't want to bother him. Tell him you would like to speak up and ask questions and discuss things with him, but if any of the discussions are a problem for him you would like him to tell you so.

Just let him know you love him and will try your best to do what helps him most.

Keep reading here; there is lots of great info and support!

I just wanted to say that i can see similarities in myself and my mother and her side of the family when it comes to depression, and talking to myself sometimes, ect, so it seems to be blatently obvious to me that there is some genetic stuff happening here, and i am afraid that when i have children, i will give some or all of this to them and i do not want them to go through what i've been through, and while i want to have children so badly in the future, i could not live w/ myself if i passed this on to them. I might never even know about it-as my parents do not know about my problems-or choose to ignore them. So this makes me think that the responsible thing to do would be to get professional opinion before i ever have children??? I don't know............

Bookgal, we pass many things on to our children, both good things and bad things. Being aware of issues, and watching for them, whether physical or mental, can lead to early intervention, and they can live full, wonderful lives. My oldest son went to a child psychologist twice in his life, he started in first grade and went for a few years, then when he hit junior high school, things got overwhelming, so he went back for a short time. He is now an adult, and is fine.

Please do not let your depression be the determining factor in whether or not you have children. A loving, caring, protective home is a great foundation to raise children in.

Hi, I'm new here and am concerned about my boyfriends daughter.

My boyfriend and I are both divorced with children and are currently buying a house together. We have both sold and hopefully will be moving towards the end of November.

He has been divorced for 4 years now and his eldest daughter who is 10 has chosen not to see or speak to him for the past 3 months. He is obviously devastated but mostly concerned for her as her behaviour is worrying.

He didn't tell his children about me until last year - we've been together for 3 years - and at first things were fine. We went for a couple of days out and all seemed to get on really well. Since then, she hasn't spoken to him. There were often times before she knew about me when she didn't visit also and had raging tantrums and demanded to be taken home to mum.

She has recently had sore fingertips with no explanation and I'm worried that she may be self harming. My bf's electric sander went missing as he was doing some DIY with her some time ago and told her he was doing some decoration before selling the house. It turned up two weekends later when he saw her again. I may be going off on a tangent here but I couldn't help wondering if she'd taken it to stop him selling the house and felt guilty and self harmed.

She'd been saying she's feeling unwell a lot and after a while, she was referred to the school nurse who was concerned and referred her for counselling. I understand that on Tuesday, she saw a psychologist or psychiatrist who has prescribed prozac and 6 weeks therapy. I've read some articles about prozac and children and it worries me a little.

My boyfriends ex wife is blaming it all on him and he is feeling very guilty as it was him that chose to end their marriage. There was noone else involved.

Obviously I can't get involved here as it would make matters worse. I think some of it is due to the fact that her mum hasn't moved on or accepted the end of their marriage. My bf has suggested to his ex that she and I meet and try to get on and maybe their daughter will feel more comfortable (I think she likes me but feels disloyal to her mum by doing so) if she sees her mum getting on ok with me but she has refused to do this.

We are going to be living together in a couple of months and I don't know what to do or what not to do. I'm worried about the prozac and also that my bf will be portrayed to the psychologist as the villain.

My bf tends to be a bit prone to depression or very low moods and his ex has been physically and verbally abusive to him in the past.

Sorry to ramble but I'm not sure how to get it all down in writing at the moment. I have two children of similar ages who are very positive about everything and have a good relationship with their dad and soon to be stepmum and stepsister.

Please give me any advise you can as it will be gratefully received.

Venus, welcome to DF. You have a very challenging situation. Mixed families can be so rewarding and also very trying. It sounds like a sorry state of affairs with your bf's ex. Adults that use their children to get back at an ex are inexcusable in my book. At 10 I am sure she is very unsure of herself and also confused with the signals she is getting from her mum.

Keep reading here, there are many good articles. Exchange of information can really help. And you will find a supportive and understanding community here. Thanks for posting and I hope you continue.

Hi! I am a daughter of a depressed person. My mother has been suffering from severe depression for 7 years now. She has been suicidal at the beginning but doesn't have such thoughts anymore, so I guess that the drugs helped to some extent. She stopped seeing a doc years ago but still gets prescriptions because she used to work at the psychiatric institution. She has been on many drugs but for the last 2-3 years has been on Anafranil and Lorazepam. She is taking one for depression and i suppose anxiety and another one for insomnia.

I can't figure out if these drugs are working or not. She doesn't leave the house at all, she doesn't see any friends, she stopped shopping. SHe talks only to me and my father and those people who call her on the phone (which are few from thousands of friends she had before). She does work around the house, makes lunch, washes, cleans, watches the TV but with no sound. That's all she does. I was wondering if this is the best she can go and if changing the drugs would make a difference. SHe is not willing to change the drugs because she doesn't want to leave the house and see a doctor or maybe she thinks these drugs are good becausse she doesn't have suicidal thoughts anymore.

What do you think? Should I somehow persuade her to change the drugs or leave her this way? She seems to have lost the ability to make decisions after everything happened (severe depression, suicide attempts, shock therapy, being indoors for so long, etc)!

Thank you

Hi Stjarna-

If your mother hasn't been to see a doctor or therapist in years, then there is probably room for improvement in her treatment plan, yes.

She does still sound depressed, but if she won't seek treatment, there's nothing you can do to MAKE her seek treatment.

Is she at all willing to try something different or at least see a doctor?

KA

I think it is so good to keep involved and keep showing love because my brother was in trouble and we were given advice to use tough love (pressure to do more school and more of this and that...and if you don't you'll face the consequences of not shaping up, this is for your own good... kind of talk) and he went over the edge. So I think you are doing well in keeping communication open, listening and caring.

Hi KA,

Thx for responding. I realize there is nothing I can do to make her see a doc but I was just hoping that somebody had an idea on how to trick her into seeing one. I know this doesn't sound right (the tricking part) but i feel desperate as I realize there is no improvement. As if she is in this one point and she made herself comfortable just the way it is and she is not looking to go further or improve or change anything. Maybe she feels embarrested talking and seeing all the folks there whom she worked with (she worked in psyciatric instituation but knew many doctors and nurses all around the town and she was a very friendly person, everybody liked her as she was always cheerful). In a way, I suppose she feels shy about seeing them as everybody knows about her depression. That could be one reason, i thought it could be useful to know and I also think she doesn't want to move from that point where she is now.

Sometimes I talk to her about starting other drugs, or going for a walk or something. I moved out last December and she didn't even come to see where I lived. I can't even figure out if she feels down about not being able to see where I live. She doesn't show it at all. She shows no feelings, looks and sounds flat.

There are new doctors now at the instituation and i thought that seeing someone who she didn't know would be helpful but she said she couldn't, didn't feel like it.

Hi,
I am the mother of a seventeen year old daughter who was diagnosed with severe situational depression in March of 2005. Her depression is a result of being involved for the past four years with a boy that is bipolar(undiagnosed), abused, and in a disfunctional family. I guess I am looking for anyone who is familiar with dealing with a bipolar significant other or who has a teen suffering from depression in this way. Does being bipolar allow someone to be wonderful and loving, charming, funny and attentive one month and the next week or month act hateful and apathetic and be cruel to the person he cares about?
Victoire

Welcome to DF, Victoire.
I can understand your concern for your daughter. Is this a relationship she intends to stay in? Is he willing to get treatment? If he isn't, I am afriad there would be no reason for her situational depression to change. Is your daughter in therapy?

Thank you jillivinilly for responding,
The relationship seems to be one she can't stop. I know that she loves him very much, but they don't have a relationship that is remotely normal. His whole family is sooooo messed up. He stays away for long periods of time and then returns, leaving her in limbo while he is gone. My daughter was in therapy for a while, but in trying to understand that there may be problems with him, she can't deal with that issue. It makes her angry with anyone who speaks badly of him. It is very difficult to explain to make any sense. He was basically her first boyfriend and she hasn't really been interested to such a degree with anyone else. There is much conflict in his home and it thrusts him into episodes constantly. He can be fine for a while. He is good to her, funny and charming----the person she loves----all of a sudden, one day he will not talk to her at school, look right through her, flirt with other girls, and be deliberately cruel. This cycle repeats over and over----now into its fifth year. I know it sounds crazy, but when he is good, he is an extremely great guy. When he is apathetic, it is upsetting and painful. He is not getting help for what I and others feel is bipolar disorder. His mother would never admit that he has this problem. She is very irrational, herself. She feels he is allergic to dairy or just plain naughty
I am at my wits end. I have grown to care for this boy as well as his siblings over the years. I know there is a wonderful person in there, somewhere. I truly think that my daughter feels that what he does to her is something he cannot control, and that once he gets away from his homelife, he will change and get better. She feels his mother is the big problem. When he is here and being normal, he admits that he can always count on my daughter to be there for him no matter what. My daughter knows this and if there is any chance for them to be together at all, she keeps waiting. She can't bear what might happen to him if he lost the one person in the world that really loves him(herself). I worry about the effect all this is having on her. Is she past the point of ever getting over him? Has he taken up such a huge part of her life that it may take years to undo? Is it wrong for her to wait to see what happens when he turns 18 this fall? She will turn 18 in Feb.
Victoire

Hi, I'm not sure if this is the right place to be writing this

I'm a mam to 2 special needs kids and i've had depression since the birth of my first child nearly 6 yrs ago, my eldest who's nearly 6 is severely autistic and youngest 3 is waiting to be assessed for Aspergers. They are both wonderful kids but very hard work and very Hyperactive, destructive etc.

I dont want them on meds cos for 1, theyr too young and 2, not until it's absolutly necessary.

Anyway just thought i'd introduce myself

Mazzy,

Hey! I had a couple questions for you regarding your children's diagnoses, if you don't mind.
First, were your children given a complete medical exam by a competant medical doctor?
The reason I ask is that I see too many children labeled without a thorough exam, including blood work, urinalysis, tox screen, etc. I also see a lot of children with alergies, and true medical conditions falsely diagnosed as having ADD /ADHD.
The second question is: Have you ever read the Diagnostic Statistical Manual yourself, particularly the sections on ADD / ADHD? The reason I ask this is that I have. A school psychologist once made an attempt to label my 10 year old daughter without running any tests on her and diagnosed simply by using only the DSM. Since this "disorder" as it is called is considered by many to be a legitimate medical condition, (and it is'nt) many use the DSM as a tool to assist in subjective diagnoses of ADD / ADHD. This can be dangerous as what the child tells his doctor alone or what is often told to him by parents can automatically wind up as a label for that child. I had a neighbor recently who was told by a school nurse that her child "might" be ADD. This shook her up a bit. But what I advised her to do was to take him to a medical doctor for a thorough exam. It was found through a battery of tests that her son had a blockage in his large intestine which had cause him to be irritable and become distracted by what was happening to him medically. Once this problem was handled, the child was fine and there were no more problems.
All I am saying is, be careful that you don't automatically medicate or go with the first opinion as it were concerning your childrens welfare. All too often child psychiatrists see parents as a bank deposit and children become just another number in the checkbook. I would do some serious research.
Another point to ponder is this: In the DSM what child does NOT fall into one or more categories for various disorders? I'm not sure if any child is exempt or any adult for that matter.

ML,

TBT

Nice to meet you Torchwood. This may be a bit personal so you don't have to answer these questions if you don't want to.
Are you currently on medication? If so, how long and what are you taking?
Have your children been given a given a complete medical exam by a competant medical doctor, complete with toxicology screening, allergy, blood, urine tests?


TBT

This post has been edited by TruthBeTold: Jan 25 2007, 02:20 AM

12 to 18 months? Not sure how he came up with that time frame or how it was determined. Seems arbitrary without more information. Was he ever given a complete and thorough medical exam by a competant MD at any point? Blood test, urinalysis, tox screen etc? Just curious.

Andrea,

Wow, it sounds like you have full hands. I've asked this of a couple other members and so I will also direct the same questions at you. If you feel like you don't want to answer, I understand. I'm really here to help in any way I can.
My first question is: Were your children given a complete medical exam by a competant medical doctor?
The reason I ask is that I see too many children labeled without a complete and thorough physical exam, including blood work, urinalysis, tox screen, etc. I also see a lot of children with alergies, and true medical conditions falsely diagnosed as having ADD /ADHD. It happens all too often.
The second question is: Have you ever read the Diagnostic Statistical Manual yourself, particularly the sections on ADD / ADHD? The reason I ask this is that I have. A school psychologist once made an attempt to label my 10 year old daughter without running any tests on her and diagnosed simply by using only the DSM. Not only was he not qualified, but since this "disorder" as it is called is considered by many to be a legitimate medical condition, (and it is'nt) many use the DSM as a tool to assist in subjective diagnoses of ADD / ADHD. This can be dangerous as what the child tells his doctor alone or what is often told to him by parents can automatically wind up as a label for that child. I had a neighbor recently who was told by a school nurse that her child "might" be ADD. This shook her up a bit. But what I advised her to do was to take him to a medical doctor for a thorough exam. It was found through a battery of tests that her son had a blockage in his large intestine which had cause him to be irritable and become distracted by what was happening to him medically. Once this problem was handled, the child was able to operate normally and there were no more problems or outbursts.
All I am saying is, be careful that you don't automatically medicate or go with the first opinion as it were concerning your childrens welfare. Take the time to get second, third and even fourth opinions. A complete and thorough medical exam is essential and often not done at all.
All too often child psychiatrists see parents as a bank deposit and children become just another number in the checkbook. If I were you I would do some serious research.
Another point to ponder is this: In the DSM what child does NOT fall into one or more categories for various disorders? I'm not sure if any child is exempt or any adult for that matter.

ML,

TBT

johnathans pest and truth

Welcome to the forums. I do hope that u find the support u need here

Hi. I don't know if I am doing this right but here goes. I am the mother of a 15 year old daughter who has suffered from severe depression her whole life. The majority of my life has been spent trying to help her. She has been hospitalized 3 times, and is on 4 different medications. We go to therapy at least 3 times a month. Nothing is working. I came here to see if I could find someone with some answers. I feel as if her life is wasting away.

I totally know what you are going through. My daughter has tried killing herself twice by taking pills...she is 15. I spend every minute of every day worrying about her. Next time she get's upset will that be the end? Depression is not only taking over her life it is taking over mine too. My biggest fear is when she graduates high school and leaves me. I don't know how I will deal with that, not knowing how she is, not being able to protect her. I came to this site for any bit of hope I can. I tell her doctors she is getting worse and they just add another pill. she takes 5 a night now. I am at the end of my rope. I hope talking to others like me will help me to help her...nothing else I have done has.