the depression is my visitor ,it came and took me when i was seven ,and is always by my side it shows me terrible things in my head .and takes me to the pit of despair .we have shared each others company now for 43 years .the visitor has taken me to the edge of life ,were the next step is death .but when you stand there looking in you can see nothing .you can feel the power of death all round you ,as it tries to draw you in ,the visitor still at my side ,without feature or vioce or gesture ,but i know it wants me to reach out and embrace death ,so he can be triumpent ,and as the last breath leaves my body ,it will leave my empty shell and find another soul to destroy.so with nowere to go and knowone to talk to i fell into the grip of death ,three times i leap into the arms of the one we most fear ,iwoke up still alone ,but death was not my companion ,no it was the visitor .how dissapointed it must have been in the poor young host .the wise doctors full of the words of wisdom they fed on as young students ,said these were crys for help ,no i was just to young to know how to do it properly.so here i am i dont fight anymore ,i live with it ,the visitor has to stay with me till i die ,when that day comes i will hold it so tight and take it with me ,and if i go to a place were i can feel happiness ,then it will be my prisoner ,and my happiness will be its depression .ive had two darks days ,but today is a little better so this is a little of my story .the visitor is not selective it will take you rich or poor ,young or old ,he takes many quises and try to fool you with his visions .be strong no matter how great the pain .taking your life may seem like a way out of this terrible darkness in wicth we live ,but we dont know what death is ,it cant be hell because thats were we live now ,it could be heaven ,i dont believe in heaven i believe that we are all a force and we fill the air when we die and surround our loved ones in their times of need .they can reach out and touch us ,and they can feel the warmth of our bodies in the summer sun .so we must learn to live with this illness.we will have bad times ahead .but good ones to .use the memories of these to help you through to times ,dont give in xn728

Back to top

This post has been edited by xn728: May 10 2009, 03:54 PM