Wow, I can't believe other people do this too! I have always sort of done this, but since starting Wellbutrin six months ago have basically done it constantly - and it is just getting worse. Every day/week it is something different to obsess about. usually it is my physical health or skin. For awhile (because I work at a hosptial dealing with cancer) I was convinced I would get cancer. Then it was the size of my calves. Then it was the skin on my face. Then the size of my nose. Then the way my teeth look. then it was some wierd pigment thing I have on my skin.

Now for the past 1.5 weeks I have been absolutely TORMENTING myself with thoughts of stretch marks. I noticed some new ones at Christmas (because I lost 30 lb) and the stupid thing is - I probably had them for awhile, but really only noticed them then. I noticed them again b/c I bought a summer top and realized my stretch marks showed and then that was it. I became OBSESSED, researching the internet, going crazy. Now b/c I am losing more weight I am absolutely terrified that I will develop ones on my arms and upper chest so I literally check every single time I go to the bathroom, and check throughout the day. I have some faint marks that I don't know what they are that I have convinced myself are the tiniest faintest beginnings of stretch marks and have made myself physically ill thinking about them. It's all I want to talk about, I constantly just want to talk to people about them and have them reassure me that they aren't the beginnings. I'm sure I will move on to another topic once I find one. But for now this one is pretty bad. Do you know how many times I've searched google for "can you get stretch marks from losing weight".

A part of me can SEE how ridiculous it is, but more of me is sick about it. I even started getting panic attacks. So when that thought crosses my mind I just make myself think "my skin will be good to me. It will not let me down. It will stay beautiful and healthy" over and over and over until I calm down. It actually works pretty well. My own little cognitive therapy session!!

oh, i type medical reports all day too, and you would think that woudl distract me? Nope, in fact, I can type these reports WHILE STILL OBSESSING ABOUT EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE!!! at the same time!!

Oh lord.

cross stitch works for me, as do jigsaw puzzles. I get so engrossed in doing a jigsaw that i can do it for hours and not realise.

Jigsaws can be good for building patience, as can cross stitch.

I knit aswell but that doesnt stop me from over thinking things quite so much.

When im cross stitching im focused in on the actual design or on reading the chart im using to create it. Same with jigsaws, as i said i get engrossed in it and totally forget time. I can become obsessed with finishing it in a set time span though.

Ie if you dont finish that puzzle by monday your going to die is what my brain will say so i will sometimes toture my eyes in an attempt to get it finished by the set date. Im really trying hard not to let my brain interferre with hobbies, it slips in sometimes though, and even when i avoid complusions in relation to that, they transfere themselves on to something else instead (ie i will get stuck on repeatedly touching something later on to try and cancel out the bad luck from not carrying out the compulsion on my puzzle).

This post has been edited by Enigmatic_Soul: Aug 5 2006, 02:44 AM

if thats what ruminating is then i do it. You might notice i constantly talk about the same subjects over and over, reask the same questions (but often rephrased) over and over or ask very similar questions because im obsessing over the subject matter. I get totally lost in my own head sometimes and i find it hard to get out when i get stuck there. I bore people cause i keep on and on and on about the same subjects, usually things that are bugging me and the most trival things can do so. When ive been in relationships i keep on and on about my diet and exercise programme or my routine. I constantly worry that they will disturb my routine or put it out. I hate having my routine put out. Or i worry they wont understand. If i put weight on or am having difficult losing it i become obsessed with it, i worry constantly about my health (physical and mental). I think thats why people dont like me, i keep on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on and on about certain things. My health, my diet, my exercise programme, my health, my routine, my diet, my exercise programme, my health, my diet, my routine, my sleeping pattern, my exercise programme. Im like the energiser bunny i just keep on and on and on and on and on.

It drives people away, literally. They dont like me and they dont usually like talking to me because i repeat myself and keep on so much. Its a good job im a loner, not that i dont get lonely i do. I dont really get out much to meet people these days because of social anxiety, i only end up making myself look like a twit or bore people to sleep anyway. And if they want to meet up at a time that doesnt fit into my routine, i refuse to go or spend the whole time in my head worrying about what i should be doing instead.

Ive never seen it as part of my depression though, its always been there even at times when im not depressed. I just put it down to being part of my personality, ive been doing it for a very long time so it must be a part of me, its something ive done for years. I figure im just an inflexible bore who isnt likalbe. People think i talk about myself too much and they think i love myself because of that, and that isnt the case, infact i lack confidence, i just obsess over things and cant get out of my own head. My relationships often fail because of my obsessing over my routine so i give up on that front aswell. Partners dont understand why i need my routine at all. I think i will always stay alone because of who i am and my need for routine and the way i obsess over it.

On the positive note though they have often seen my tendancey to flick light swithces and take stuff in and out of the fridge repeatedly or not let it touch the top of the freezer or sides of the fridge as a quirk, which they find quite amusing. Unfortunately my rituals are increasing and spreading into other areas over time and its taking over bit by bit.

yup ill always be alone because of it. I dont know how much of it is me or how much of it is anxiety/depression or ocd anymore.

Before an appointment i also play the possible conversation that might occur and over and over in my head for a about a week before the appointment, i think about it constantly. And i also repeat phrases over an over in my head to ward off anxiety, bad thoughts or bad luck.

This post has been edited by Enigmatic_Soul: Aug 5 2006, 03:00 AM

this s an old topic without too mnay recent posts, so maybe this request wont be heard. but can someone give an explanation of ruminating? is this diagnosable? i share a lot of what you guys have said on this thread; the endless train f repeated thoughts and reworking of different angles of the same thing... truely endless. it's always kept me awake at night. i've given up trying to sleep unless i'm so exhausted by other activities that i can't think aymore. i also have almost none of my former concentration. are these all elements of rumination? is it a sign of OCD, which i don't have (i don't think), or depression?
more importantly is there treatment? techniques? anything to shut my mind up once in a while? i used to smoke cannabis as an easy "off switch" but it caused other problems so i quit. i've been craving it again recently. luckily i can't seem to get ym ands on any these days. it was so muhc easier back in highschool. now i'm around better crowds. i suppose thats for the best. but i still suffer from my incesent thoughts...

wow, theres a word for it! I think of it as the nasty litle voice in my head that talks to me like I would never talk to my worst enemy, it goes over conversattions, songs stick for days, and it invents future conversations that confuse me as they blur reality and fantasty.

I thought it was because I don't spend much time being mentally challeneged and that there is lots of time in my head. Spending all day with a 3 yr old is lovely but it doesn't fill my head with interestin things to think about.

Apart from meds is there a way to make it all stop?

I agree being at home with a child doesnt exercise your grey matter much, lots of time to think.

i do things taht get my attetntion and that interest me, like logic puzzles, jigsaws, and other hobbies. They dont stop every obsessive thought i have they still crop up, but it does stop me over thinking things.

GAD can cause excessive worrying, and its that that tends to keep you up at night. I can control my obsessive thoughts by performing rituals before i go to bed. It doesnt get rid of them completely but it quells them for long enough so i can go to sleep.

When i worry about things in general i put it more down to generalised anxiety, especially if its keeping me awake at night. An anti depressant with a sedative effect taken at night can help.

Ocd type worries would include: am i going to die during my sleep, what if i die during my sleep, what if there a fire when im asleep, what if i hurt myself in my sleep? What if i wake up in the morning and ive gone mad? and i dont know who i am or where i am? What if someone breaks in during the night? Did i lock the door, and the windows, maybe i should check? if i puff my pillow so many times and press the timer button on my telly so many times until it feels right everything will be ok.

or

(thought) if you dont flick that light switch until it feels right you are going to die, or get burned in a fire. (reaction) panic and fear (Action) repeated flicking of the light switch, sometimes to the point i get blisters on my finger from doing it.

or

(thought) if you dont keep taking that box of mint sticks out of the fridge and putting it back in there until it feels right you are going to drop down dead (reaction) panic and fear (action) putting the box and in and out of the fridge until your arm aches and it feels right whilst counting and avoiding bad numbers at the time. If it feels right but youve landed on a bad number you need to do it again or it still means you are going drop down dead. Same with the light switches and counting above.

or

You are lying in bed or sat on the couch and you get a mental image in your head, that flashes in suddenly and that you find somewhat disturbing. Something may trigger it such as something said on the telly or it may just appear in your head out of nowhere. In my case i might see myself lying dead in bed, or lying dead on the floor, or horribly scarred and burned in a fire, standing at the window in a hospital wing wearing stripey pjs and staring aimlessly at the view outside (yes its that ferking detailed). (reaction) panic, fear, dread, repulsion, nausea (action) reapeat the sentances "im not going die young i dont need to keep saying it" or "i hope i never get burned in a fire i dont need to keep saying it" over and over again to relieve the anxiety you are feeling.

or

(thought) the next time you use ellipses in a post you are going to die (reaction) panic and fear (action) never use ellipses in a post again.

and so on, just some of my weirder thoughts there.

The aforementioned actions (as ridiculous as some of them are unless puffing your pillow is a universal protection device against death and burglers that i didnt know about) will quell my anxiety for a short period of time.

burglar: there a window mate, lets use it
mate: sure but its not working
burglar: what do you mean
mate: i cant get in
burglar: why
mate: d*** the Biotch puffered her pillow, how about we try next door instead?

Or sometimes my brain just get stuck for some reason. Like when reading i have keep rereading the same sentence. This is often accompanied by the urge to twitch my head, but i dont think its a tic, because i can stop it if i try but the compulsion is to twitch for some reason.

GAD type worry: what if i cant afford to pay my bills this week, do i have enough money in the bank to cover it, do i need to rework my budget. What if so and so doesnt call like they said they would, i really need to speak to them, what if the parcel i ordered doesnt arrive. How am i going to arrange my schedule tomorrow i have so much to do.

Slightly different trains of thought, to me anyway. But im not an expert my dr has only just suggested that i may have ocd. Im still learing.

Those examples are taken from my own brain box. The predominant type of worry in my head at this time is the top one.

This post has been edited by Enigmatic_Soul: Aug 5 2006, 10:36 AM

Oh my god. I have this problem. I didn't really realize it. I watch the view and Rosie ODonnell said she does this and I thought "doesn't everybody?"
No. Apparently not.

I sing songs. The same song will go though my head for weeks or longer. Every day. All day. All night. Even if I only know a few words, I'll just replay the same jingle over and over and over.
The most recent one is "my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard."

Your responses are interesting. I'd like to try some.
Any one else have ideas of how to stop the repetition in my brain?

This post has been edited by Remiah: Mar 15 2007, 03:43 PM

Hey! This is me. You and I are the same. You won't be alone... you just have to find someone as obsessive as you are. That's what I did. He's wonderful... even though sometimes I think his OCD is worse than mine . When we moved in together, we just figured out what eachother's schedules were and made one big schedule for us both. There were few changes... just one night a week devoted to "us"... other than that, we live fairly independently. Anyway my point is don't give up on the opportunity for a relationship. It's still possible.
Hugs

Wow, I'm glad I happened upon this topic tonight, as I can really identify with it! I think a large part of my problems could be considered ruminating, but I'm not sure. Could anyone tell me if this fits the category?

You see, I am self-conscious in an extremely overblown, life-affecting way. It's like I have different parts of my brain- there's the sensible part of me that tells me I shouldn't care what most people think, and only care about pleasing those I love and those that matter to me. I should do what I know is right, and not care about the opinions of shallow people who are quick to judge, right? That's the sensible approach, and that's what I try to tell myself. But then there's the part of me affected by my OCD/Depression, which is in charge 95% of the time. I spend most of my day obsessing over self-conscious thoughts. The tiniest instance is turned into a huge deal by my brain, for the simple reason that I CANNOT STOP obsessing over it even if I know it's pointless. For instance- the other day I was playing my sax in band and missed a note, and it was really off-key and sounded bad. I was ashamed, and it suddenly seemed to me that everyone would look down on me for it, like I'm a bad player. I realize that people miss notes all the time in our band... so the sensible part of me said that no one would care, and they'd forget it five minutes later anyway. But the OCD part of my brain told me that they all were obsessing over it, and they were going to think I'm terrible and dislike me for it. I spent a good part of the rest of the day worrying about that one little instance. And when I say "a good part" I mean pretty much constantly whenever my mind was free and I wasn't absorbed in work. I tried to get the obsessive thoughts out of my head, but I couldn't. The sensible part of my brain is there pleading, commenting and giving advice, but it cannot stop the OCD part from ruling over me.

These are what almost all of my days are like. One or two tiny bad things happen, and I spend the entire day obsessing over them and what people thought of me for them. And all of this occurs even though I realize I can't change the past, and I can never figure out what they thought, and most of the events I worry about are silly and minor, and I shouldn't even be self-conscious in the first place! But at the same time, the weird part of my brain makes me freak out about these things, like everyone- even my closest friends- are going to turn against me if I do anything wrong. So I feel like I can never mess up at anything, but of course I end up messing up anyway- everyone does. And then I just feel like a failure. It feels like my life is completely worthless and pointless because I keep messing everything up. I know my obsessions are senseless, but I CANNOT stop them. I CANNOT get the sensible side of my brain to win, and it drives me absolutely insane, as I know I cannot go on forever like this, which is why I'm glad I finally convinced my mom to let me see a professional about this (we're starting soon, hopefully).

I obsess about other things too, but they are not nearly as big of a deal as what I described above.

:1cat:

this is a great thread!

i think my main problem is ruminating - i asked my doc once if he thought i had OCD because of this but he said he felt confident my problem was depression because it is so intermittent. i would literally worry all day if i would sleep at night. didn't matter if i did or not - i would wonder if i would. this would change the way i felt and cloud my feelings so i would feel depressed too.

i take effexor now and this makes me feel fine. i think about the times when i used to think like that and i can't even drum up any anxiety - it all feels silly. i stopped effexor about 4 months ago but got depressed again so just started back on - this time, and for the last few times, my thoughts were mainly around 'what if i relapse on effexor, will i be able to find another medication to work' - i really tried not to engage in these thoughts because my doc had told me how it was a symptom of the depression.

because i feel so well when i am on medication it is hard to work in therapy to manage ruminating - or controlling it - i find that effexor just stops them which is one of the reasons why i worry because when i am like that my defenses are so low that i don't feel i have control over them until the effexor starts working again. before effexor i had an episode that was really bad, i was very depressed with constant ruminations about 'how bad will my depression get' i was tooo depressed to work on it without medication, and within three weeks felt good as new and couldn't imagine the horrors i had gone through.

does any body else feel completely, and i mean completely well on antidepressants?

I don't, but perhaps others do. Try asking in the Effexor forum.

I know what you mean..one thing happens to me whether insignificant or not and i think about it all day. I haven't been diagnposed with OCD but I do have Anxiety Disorder. I hate worrying and thinking about things all day, well sometimes for days until it gets resolved. My stomach shuts down and I can harldy eat.

Oh no! How horrible. :( Mine doesn't have any effects on my health that I know of... except that I have a really fast metabolism, which might be related to all the constant anxiety and stress...

i never heard of this term before, but after reading it i think i have it. i tend to over analyze everything and can't get certain things out of my head. my husband calls my thinking a "decision tree." i mentally have everything mapped out in my head with "what if "scenarios, that no matter what happens around me... i have my plan. i get really anxious if something threatens "my plan" and even worse if i have to adjust it. then i have to rethink all these new scenarios and what i have to, can, or choose to do in them. my brain seriously thinks about this all the time. i guess its my background noise. my husband says that he can literally see the "gears turning in my head."

someone mentioned how they feel about therapy before and after. me being obnoxious, i have everything planned out that i want to bring up or say, with all my responses. then when my np throws a curve ball and i haven't thought about it before hand, i'll answer. but after therapy, i replay my whole conversation in my head and beat myself up about what i should have said, what i forgot to say, what i'm going to say next time, etc, etc. i do this for situations other than my np, but i guess this is just an example.

Same thing happens to me Angel. Not as much now that I'm gettin' older, but when I was a young woman my weight stayed at about 75 lbs simply because I couldn't eat.

Good thread going here, and soooooooo interesting as I never heard the term before (ruminating) or realized there was a name for it. I just always thought I had a weird brain.

I have problems with rumination and perseveration. Usually just in my head, though. I do, however, have tendency to let this carry over into my work space. I have noticed that sometimes during meetings, some of the staff that I work with looks completely exhausted, as though what I am saying is so complicated. I have this issue where I have never been able to simply answer yes or no. I feel the need to explain my reasoning, from formation of the idea to every fact and figure that made me confident that the answer was either yes or no. It's not fun. Nor is it an easy problem to fix. I have been trying my best to keep conversations to a minimum at work, trying to get to the point faster. And I save my long-winded answers for my fellow long-winded friends.

I'm the opposite: I no longer believe that I have to justify myself nor do I believe that anyone else is party to my inner-most thoughts. However I do talk to myself when stressed, I caught a woman watching me whilst in the supermarket just now <blush> - we have several family visits to do and I know my patience will be tried as people try to engage me in conversation, wanting explanations when a simple 'yes' or 'no' should do ........ so I was going through probably conversations whilst doing my shopping :-(((

yet another 'me too' post...

the idea that others are living with this as well is both comforting and a touch worrisome. now i'll start thinking that everyone is like me.. seeing little 'indications' in completely unrelated behavior...

anyway.

I've always had trouble with depression (and *who* exactly has had *pleasure* with depression -geez) and went through about 8 years of experimenting with different treatments. Slowly, methodically, painfully. SSRIs were useless, anti-psychotics, mood stabilizers, herbal medicinals, talking therapy, exercise, etc ... were too. Started Emsam (selegiline) when it came out. Started at 1/4 of the 6mg, have been at 6mg for a year and a half now. Insomnia comes and goes... I'm up to a minimum of 2mg lorazepam to sleep.
.
But these thoughts described in this forum.. they've always been there. Seems like there's at least 3 varieties.
- running thoughts
- obsessive thoughts
- anxiety-driven thoughts

The running thoughts tend to be the worst for me. Nothing stops them, except time... way too much time.
A couple of different ideas will pop up, one will take over, I'll be soaked in it for a while, until it leads to another, and another... the only time I know I'll be free of this is on a day after heavy drinking (a rare event)... although taking benadryl at night generally leads to a quiet day, if not completely numb and removed.

Trying to escape them by doing something else only puts them on hold. The second I get back to, say, trying to sleep, boom, there off and running.

At first glance this may not sound sooo bad. It's just a long series of ideas, right? But there's a point at which it becomes a little annoying, which quickly grows into painful and frightening as I realise I can't stop them. Mentally screaming at them to shut the hell up does nothing. So many ideas. I'll never live long enough to follow them all. Failure am I.

The obsessive ones, for me, are more of the endlessly repeating song snippets. Like right now it's: "see you again. again. again. see you again" Beth Orton I think, blended with some other word and sound snips from that album... which I haven't listened to in years. It'd be a rare moment when something like this wasn't playing in my head, but they're usually not too annoying. The theme to the Johnny Carson Show runs through my head often while walking down halls at work. -who cares?- yeah, yeah.

did i mention being a little self-critical?

The anxiety thoughts are the worst as far as trying to live a normal (pfffp!, typical, productive, satisfying, not-too-f__ed-up, choose your own) life. Leaving the house on my own is usually a challenge. What clothes do I wear? Do I look as off as I feel? This really isn't worth the time anyway. etc.

So I'm going to take a walk. Well, it has to have a purpose, otherwise it might look weird. So I'll imagine walking to the grocery. If I get to an intersection and there's a car there but the walk light is on for me, here's how I'll walk, and move my arms, and what I'll do with my eyes -oh those D*** eyes are sooooo troublesome! Don't slouch, try to keep your chin up -cause even with your best effort you'll look like a soaked rag doll, there's no danger of you looking pompous despite the dry-cleaning bills.

If someone is walking the opposite way... agghh, it's hopeless... just try not to freak out, only allow yourself a change in position of your head or eyes once every 5 seconds or more NO MATTER WHAT ... and for freak's sake, try not to trip on the perfectly smooth sidewalk.

At the store... omg. I would willingly pay twice (maybe even "thrice" simply because it's a 'more funner' word) as much for groceries if, 1) there was only one grocery within 50 miles, and 2) they only carried one of any particular item.

Oh, you wanted the Drost 72% not the 68? Geez, sorry fella, looks like your outta luck. Or was it the 68 I wanted?? Really it's not the amount of cocoa that is the critical part, it's more the amount of sugar and milk. You can have a very nice dark chocolate at 50%cocoa if you... blah blah.
My wife knows to allot *hours* for me to go pick up a few things.

And then there's all the preplanned interactions in case I actually have to talk to anyone. Usually with the result of me thinking, 'that was so meek' or 'i probably sounded like a jerk'... let's replay this a few times to see what went wrong and where improvements could be made.
-your still reading this tripe?!?

sigh

And yes the visits to the shrink ("pdoc" pfffp!) are played out endlessly before and after. The shrink visit: here's what I want to convey, but she will probably brush it off and head back toward focusing on chronic depression.. so I'd better emphasize it.. but then she'll think I've gone overboard on it, and will simply discount the whole idea.. best to sound detached, maybe I can find an article to cite, or pick up some more of their jargon.. and who are you fooling and why? oh brother, lemme think about this a bit, a bit, a bit, abitabitabitabitabitabittttttttttt......

see you again
again

This post has been edited by gatohaus: Oct 26 2007, 09:32 AM

So there is a name for what I do! Oh my goodness.. It is quite comforting knowing I am not alone in this.

I go over and over things in my head. Conversations that I have had, that I may have and that I may never have, but I feel the need to go over them anyhow. I go back and think, gosh that was stupid what I just said, I should have said...... I also go back to memories when I have said unappropriate or hurtful things and go over it again. I still feel the bad feelings of how it made me feel then and it surfaces again. And some of the things I bring up to myself happened years and years ago!

It is almost as if I can't forgive myself for something I have said. I am also over critical of myself, and have a bad habit of "beating myself up" over stuff.

It is tiring doing this, but I can't stop. My mind is always busy reminding me of what I said or did, or what I should say or do.

This post has been edited by carolinagal: Oct 31 2007, 09:51 AM

I'm a ruminator, as well.

My ruminations, when I was a child, I figured were pretty normal. Sometimes it'd just be an odd name, or maybe a song. I think those are pretty standard--but after I'd realized I had depression, these ruminations led to a downward spiraling of sorts. First it was what is colloquially referred to as "HOCD," I was terrified of being gay. Not of coming out, mind you, but of possibly being gay. It was totally irrational, and all the instances where I'd ever been attracted to a woman (millions and millions--) suddenly DISAPPEARED, and all the "evidence" that I was gay kept running through my mind.

Lately, the ruminations have been of something much more dire, suicide. I don't plan on doing it, and I've never even felt hopeless enough to seriously consider it, save the time in junior high when a girlfriend dumped me and I thought the world was over, but that was just a juvenile knee-jerk reaction. My ruminations with suicide are more like, "What if I get to a point in my life where I'm so depressed that I want to kill myself?" I'm not suicidal per se--it's the irrational fear of being suicidal. It's amazing--when I'm talking about it on here, I feel ecstatic that I'm able to rationally discuss it, but I know that later on, there's going to be some off-handed mention of suicide on the news or something, and the fear will be implanted yet again.

I think the problem with ruminations is that your mind seeks out whatever loopholes in the logic of the situation that it can exploit. For instance, with my "HOCD," it was that there is no test that can say "You're 100% straight."

It's just something you feel. With the ruminations of suicide, it's that "It's never too late to feel suicidal--you might feel it one of these days." To me, it's absolutely terrifying. I've got plans for the future, I've got a girlfriend of a year and a half whom I love more than anything in the world, I'm going abroad this summer and hopefully again when I graduate from college.

I'm terrified of death, and yet my mind makes up these ruminations as if I can lose control . The worst thing in the world to me is losing this girl and my plans for the future being irrevocably destroyed. This is something that "becoming gay" would've done, and it's something that killing myself would do. Does anyone have any advice for just being able to passively let them go?

This post has been edited by Lizzy: Feb 7 2008, 08:40 AM

welcome! Fear of death is common. Because we have no control over the inevitable We have less control over how people 'see' us and whether they will judge our attitudes etc..

Finding out who we are takes time every day's a learning curve. Orientation is a 'feeling' followed by knowledge: I know I am straight ;-). I know I live with a straight guy ;-). If someone lives with the opposite sex in the hope of 'changing' then they need to seek counselling. However, our brains can ruminate round many subjects until the brain gets confused so you need to find a way of being more content with YOU!

Ruminating are you kidding I am the queen of it. I can ruminate over almost every event in my life. Yes I also get those songs from nowhere that get stuck in my head, even the ones I detest.

Michelle

Me too! I ruminate all the time. I'm trying to stop because it contributes to my anxiety. But it is so hard. I ruminate over every little thing. It is interesting that the only time I do not ruminate is when I am really depressed. I think I'm too depressed to ruminate then.
Oh and I always have random songs stuck in my head, it annoys the people at work, i've learned to not share that I have a song stuck in my head.

Ok WOW. Right now I'm STUCK on Thinking about that I am thinking. Watching TV, Isabelle, you're thinking, reading posts, while reading: you're thinking, conversation, reading a book, etc. So bad that I'm trying to avoid these things now. What helps is keeping busy. Cleaning, laundry, getting out, driving...But it comes back. I'll be finally wandering in my thoughts like normal people I guess, but then something says Hey remember you're thinking! You're thinking, you're thinking! Make it stop. ANYTHING

Not only do I ruminate but I talk out loud ......... and not just in the house either ......... "putting the World to rights"!

I think this thread hits my "problem" right on the mark. If something bad happens or there is a potential issue that might occur, my mind latches on to it and WILL NOT LET GO.

My job is in constant flux. We are always laying people off etc... I can't put that out of my mind. It drives me crazy by creating levels of stress that are hard to handle. I've aged quickly over the last few years, since the "ruminating" is getting worse as time progresses. I'm only in my forties.

If it isn't my job, than it is money or death etc...

So, do we try and fight the ruminations or do we fight the symptoms: depression and elevated anxiety. Is there anything that will stop us from latching onto things.

What else would we think about I'll have to ask Hubby what is in his brain when he isn't thinking ;-)

I'm new to DF -- just wanted to jump in and say I am a BIG TIME ruminator. Though I would not have called it that, to me it is more obsessing on things, though I am not in any true sense OCD as far as I know.

I'm chronically depressed which in the last couple of years I've learned is known as dysthymia or mild depression, and I'm here trying to figure out what to do about it after years of suffering with it at various levels (probably half my 42 years, maybe a bit less, although I'm pretty sure some aspects were with me as a child.)

Anyway what you all are calling ruminating I think is one of my biggest problems. I'm constantly mulling everything over in my head, although I'm somewhat quiet when things are "good" in life. But if something throws a wrench into that, a problem to be dealt with, or a stressful interpersonal issue, a financial thing, whatever, bam, here comes the OBSESSING over it. Like say if I get a bill late on Friday in the mail that is clearly wrong and that I need to call someone about but can't until Monday, it will practically ruin my whole weekend because I can't stop thinking about it, worrying over it. And it'll be something that is taken care of in a single two-minute phone call on Monday morning, no problem! But I can't tell myself, stop thinking about it, you'll deal with it on Monday -- the thoughts just won't stop. I guess it's a stress-induced thing, anytime I fear I don't have what it takes to deal with a problem, no matter it is pretty small. Distraction does help a bit in such cases, but I'm alone alot and have a hard time distracting myself.

If it deals with people, like a problem with a friend or neighbor, I can't sleep thinking about it to the point of losing sleep. My mind will not shut off.

Whoever posted that it runs people away from you, that is so true. I'm starting to see more and more this LOOK on my husband's face when I start in on something I can't let go. He just doesn't get it. Once I was obsessing on something and he was like, jeez, what is all this STUFF and I said, "Well trying being IN my head, see what that is like!" It's not a happy place when the thoughts won't stop, since mostly they are negative. And my husband is such the opposite, he lets everything roll off him (though I find out he likes to store them up a bit and throw them at me at strategic times -- well we all have our issues I guess).

I can't believe that i'm reading this. I have this exact thing. I always think about conversations ahead of time, I can never seem to enjoy the moment because i'm always thinking about what i will be doing next that may be more enjoyable than what i'm doing... It's funny because i've been told i'm a quiet person and my theory behind the reason for that would be that I already had the conversation in my head and I have already imagined what I would say and what the responses would be ahead of time so I feel no reason to start a conversation because I think i already know what's going to be said. I constantly try to stop myself from thinking but I just can't. It would start back a few seconds later. I feel like i'm narrating my whole life ahead of time and at present sometimes.

Can anyone relate to that? I have done this for years, and just recently I have been obsessed with all kinds of different things about whether I have other mental illnesses, whether I would hurt my loved ones, if I was gay, all kinds of different stuff.

My therapist and doctor told me I have OCD but is the ruminating and trying to predict EVERYTHING ahead of time a aspect of OCD or is it something different? My psychologist upped my Celexa from 20mg to 40mg and I haven't noticed much of a difference yet. So i'm curious if ruminating is a common condition of people with OCD and if so what can be done about it?

This post has been edited by zamardii: Jun 27 2008, 11:02 AM

Oh geeze. I had no idea that ruminating had anything to do with OCD. O_o
I've had it so many times when I would just say a single word or phrase over and over for hours. It's the most annoying thing ever.

And lately, everytime I start to notice that i'm thinking about future conversations or repeating songs orsomething I tell myself sometimes even outloud to shutup. But I am literally exhausted from doing this. My mind feels burnt out, almost as if I should just be like screw it, let my mind take over and think about everything. What does it matter? it just sucks, because I feel like I can never truely enjoy the present moment and what I am doing.

Also, does anybody feel like they are constantly rushing somewhere even if there si nowhere to rush to? Sometimes I would catch myself speeding, or eating fast and I would beat myself up for it. "Why are you rushing? There's nowhere to rush to." I just can't stop this stupid mindset. I wish I knew what to do about it.

I am continously thinking things over. It's usually about something that I have to do, like make a phone call, talk to a co-worker about something specific or go somewhere I haven't been before. I think about what probably will happen, and what could happen. Afterwards, I then go over whatever it was that happened and think about what I could have done/ said different/ better. I still do this about stuff that happened years ago which is extremely pointless! It can stop me from sleeping and useually causes migranes.
Didn't realise it was ocd though.

This post has been edited by Kd_Jo: Jun 30 2008, 10:58 AM

I am forever rushing! Even if I have set off early so I don't have to rush, I rush! It's really annoying, I make myself slow down, but I still end up rushing, even if I'm not really going anywhere.

I find if I'm on holiday away from my stressors and not in contact with family members ;-) I don't do it! Too busy enjoying myself ....... once home again though, the niggles begin and my brain goes into it's old habits .......... so long as I don't talk out loud though

welcome to the Club ;-)

Is there any way to stop it? My doctor upped my Celexa from 20mg to 40mg for OCD, but the thoughts persist. It's never ending. Never ending repeating of something in my head. Either a song, or I start to wonder what people will say when I say this or that, what people are thinking, what I should do, what I should have done.

I'm so tired of this. I feel I have no control over it and it's ruining my life. What can I do? Has anything worked for anybody?

Stop thinking about the person/s that annoy you ;-). I have had to put those sorts of folks out of mind. Otherwise my brain has conversations with them continually! Usually it's people I dont' see often. Finding lots to do in the garden helps, I do talk out loud about where I'm planting seeds etc. but that is more 'normal' don't you think?

Is there nothing that can be done about this? I am tired of thinking of every possible outcome of my life. It ruins my relationships and I feel like I just can't enjoy things as much while i'm always constantly thinking about what's next, conversations, people's reactions... Am I just going to have to live with this? I'm tired of constantly saying stop outloud when I start a conversation in my head, i'm tired of becoming anxious for no apparent reason... I just want to be able to take things as they come rather than work up a conversation or scenario in my head ahead of time. I never seem to be in the moment because I am thinking about stopping these conversations so much now.

So, question out there for those who say that writing down the thoughts helps... why would this be? Wouldn't it be that writing only makes you ruminate MORE? I write down my thoughts occasionally but haven't really found much benefit from the task so far. But I would be better about doing this if I found that it did indeed help significantly. Would love to hear from you!

So that was the name ruminator. Yes I am one too and suffering. I have conversations in my brain all the time. I mean day and night and that's probably why I couldn't sleep at all. Until I took Remeron and it blocked all the conversations in my mind. Like someone has folded my braid in saranwrap and the thoughts and emotions can not show themselves up. But as soon as I tapered the drog here they come again. So as far as someone uses the drog everyday it might be very effective to clean the thoughts from the mind. I couldn't handle with Remeron though made me sleep all day and felt incredibly tired contrary to what I wanted to be.