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Posted: July 04 2004,11:20   
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Sometimes our brains go over and over the same subjects: still we repeat the same habits and compulsions.  My brain sometimes repeats the same conversations with itself - all day long!
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lizzy


gigi
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Posted: July 04 2004,16:06   
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Well, I'm most definitely a ruminator, so I guess this thread is the place for me!  I'm too tired to go into specifics right now, and I've already described some of it in another thread.  Just wanted to say hi.  



leonarda
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Posted: July 05 2004,05:32   
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Thanks Lizzy!
I most definetly am a ruminator, at least some times, if that counts. It varies from a particular song that I don't even like and is in my head the whole day (talking about unpleasant!) to repeating certain sentences over and over again in my mind(from ''nowhere'' they come). That's actually like having repetitive thoughts, right?
I remember that was actually my first symptom of ''real'' OCD. There was one short stupid sentence that I couldn't get out of my head for days and it started scaring me eventually...
Anyway, I'm in!

Edited by leonarda on July 05 2004,05:32


inner_chaos
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Posted: July 05 2004,16:51   
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what if you have the same conversation from 100 different angles?
I do this alot.  its like looking at it from every different veiw point.  it gets beyond ridiculous.  
For example.....
i'd like to chew on a piece of gum..the only problem is that i have ten different flavours in front of me..which do i choose....
the cherry
the  mint
the grape
the watermelon
the bubblegum
the spiramint
the strawberry
the cinnamon
the lemon
and that blue trident kind that tastes like tooth paste
so i go over this 100 different ways of trying to decide what flavour i want to chew and some days it takes  me up to an hour to decide....but by the time i decide...the problem is that i no longer feel like chewing.

i do this with conversations.....

if i am going to to the pdoc or the t.  i will think about every possible thing that could possibly come up as a topic of conversation and work out what exactly i will say in response to his or her questions.  then i reannalyze  and reevaluate and do it again and try to think of better answers and more questions.  after the appointements i rethink what was said and how it went and what was said by both of us and what was said in between the lines.  were there any inuendos on the t.s behalf or the pdocs behalf.  (see i dont want to look crazy or they might lock me up again)

i do this with my family as well constantly. what are they implying, what do i think, what do they really think,
i do this with all my psts and pms on here as well.
is this ruminating?

my problem is that I JUST CANT LET THINGS GO.
IC~  
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~Inner Chaos~
I ask for peace
it is not granted.
A storm is brewing,
I rage within.
Let lightening
strike me down,
For then perhaps
I may find peace.~IC



aguppe
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Posted: July 05 2004,22:51   
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put me down as a ruminator!!!!!
I post mortem nearly every action i have, every thought, every word. I even ruminate on songs...lol
   
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This is not me
I used to be strong
Now I feel weak
This is not me
I never said it was
I didn't like it because I lost my way
From Delta Goodrem's "inocent eyes"album




obeetaybee
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Posted: July 06 2004,05:30   
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I'm a ruminator too!  I have many conversations in my head about how I think the conversation should or may go...



michaelIRL
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Posted: July 06 2004,12:36   
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hand up!! im one to!!!
songs i dont think are a problem, cos everyone has that i think, but phrases, my god!!! they go over and over!!! for example, i watched this documentary on the american military, well actually it was about american 'imperialism', but neways they described the military as having 'full spectrum dominance', i went over that phrase in my head all day long for like a week, lol, quite funny when u think about it.

then, the funniest one was, after reading somone on this website talking about their doctor telling them that they ruminate, i was making the dinner and doing the dishes after and the whole think i said that word over and over again 'ruminating', hmmmmmmmmm, comforting! its quite ironic that i would ruminate about the word rumination. Its like the most ironic word in the english dictionary, verbose, which means overly elaborate language use. So to describe somones verbose language u yourself will be verbose, that is ofcoursae if u use the word verbose(eh u got it, no explaination was needed, oh well).



inner_chaos
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Posted: July 06 2004,14:46   
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"ruminating" and "verbose"
*sigh*

they  both do have such a lovely ring to them as i repeat them over and over in my head...maybe they will be my new words to repeat as i count my ceiling tonight......thanks

michealIRL......lol......
new words to repeat.....lol.....well...repeating words sure counting!

do you repeat them..i do  over and over sometimes fast and then slower and then really slow and then medium speed ...just to see how they sound at different rythems.  lol.

oh well.......
maybe i will go to bed now just so i do thqat and see how it feels to me....counting my ceiling and saying those new words instead of my old two words........
       
IC~   
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~Inner Chaos~
I ask for peace
it is not granted.
A storm is brewing,
I rage within.
Let lightening
strike me down,
For then perhaps
I may find peace.~IC



michaelIRL
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Posted: July 07 2004,01:08   
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LOL, ur welcome! i can give u a multitude more, i joke!!!! sorry for giving u a little bit of a trigger!
but, as opposed to saying things at differnt paces, i say them in differnt accents, infact i just talk all the time in loads of differnt accents, people tend to get slightly confused!



inner_chaos
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Group: Senior Member
Posts: 2108
Joined: June 2004
Posted: July 07 2004,05:54   
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trust me micheal,
you did not trigger me at all.
if you did not give me new words to think about...then there is always the dictionary!
IC~  
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~Inner Chaos~
I ask for peace
it is not granted.
A storm is brewing,
I rage within.
Let lightening
strike me down,
For then perhaps
I may find peace.~IC


leonarda
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Joined: April 2004
Posted: July 07 2004,07:23   
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I sometimes try to be smarter than my phrases repeating themselves and I convert them into comics in my mind. You know, to really think them through and then ''bye bye, go away'' so they'd go away and stop bugging me. Does that work? Lol it does   . Any more affective ways of fighting them?



Orso
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Posted: July 07 2004,12:25   
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I AM the RUMINATOR!!!
[it gets SO noisy in my head that I have to tell the conversations to just 'shut up' - really annoying]
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Orso
œI held my tongue until it turned blue . . .you said I had ˜an attitude™ . . .?
Paul Westerberg

Wow.  Count me in for this one too.  

I had no idea that there could be so many different ways for OCD to manifest itself.  I always kinda thought that I just spent too much time wraped up in my own thoughts.

nope. Its called ruminating..and lots of people do it. i talk to myself all day long, nonstop. having conversations from different angles, etc.... i think about words there meanings, fitting them into scentences, etc... on and on and on. its never ending. my mind races, all night long some nights.

welcome to the forums BTW~ :)

Thanks.  ;)  Good to be here.    

I've found that one of the best side effects of my zoloft is that it makes me sleepy.  hehe  Now when I go to bed at night, I drop right out.  Don't lie awake with my mind going a mile a minute all night.  hehe

Its just the bit when I'm awake during the day that I wish I could shut off now... lol.

I am not on meds anymore...so i lay awake and my mind races. i wake up in the middle of the night with it running a mile a minute. its constanly on the go. I wish it would just shut up! for me there is no such thing as silence. Night and day and day and night. Too bad I could not put my mind to good use and do something productive with these thoughts like write a book! Now there is an :idea3: LOL! Now given my thoughts...what a crazy book it would be!

Ouch.  Poor thing.  That can be really rough.  Several years ago I became an alcoholic because when I was drunk was about the only time that I could get any silence in my head.   It worked, sort of.  I really don't recommend it.  heh  Finally quit about 8 years ago.   I took up knitting instead.  When I can't sleep I get up and work on that.  I make myself focus on what I'm doing exclusively.  

Either that or when I'm in bed, I pretend that I'm falling backwards into a bottomless hole filled with clouds and they close over my head like water as I fall.  I imagine that the clouds are my thoughts and I'm falling past them too fast for them to catch up.   Just falling and the thoughts racing away.  Kinda like falling deeper into my mind, in the dark.  Usually within 10 minutes or so, I'm ready to roll over onto my stomach and drift off.  Doesn't work all of the time, but often enough.  =)  

Sorry that I couldn't give you any better ideas.  =(

that falling thing wont work for me. i have falling nightmares, so i wont purposely think of falling! For obvious reasons.

Knitting, I sometimes do that, but I am not really good at it, so I dont have a lot of patience for it as of yet. LOL. I need something though to keep me occupied and even while knitting and counting stitches my mind still races.  Cant win for trying.

It seems like I am shooting down all your good ideas. Not purposefully they just wont work for me...got any other tricks up your sleeve?

Ack!   Ok, no falling for you.  =(    

Well, about the only other thing that I can think of off of the top of my head is pretty much just escapism.   I can get lost in a good book pretty easily.  I usually take my lunch hour and read.  Its not much, but I can get away from myself for a little bit and recharge so to speak.  

If I can think of anything else that I do, I'll post it here as soon as I can.  Sorry that I couldn't be of more help to you.  =(


Peter

i read but not a lot. i used to read all the time. But now i have concentration problems...probably all that ruminating that is going on upstairs. lol. seriously. it is the depression. so i read a little when i can. and i love it. Big books like i used to find myself delving into are now sitting on my shelves collecting dust so i am sticking to shorter less complex things, but at least that is better than nothing.

I amused that you are a 28 year old male knitter. knitting is becoming a lost art these days. People just go out and buy things. and you are a guy. I have said that twice now. what made you take up knitting? ??? And what do you like to knit?  :)

*Grin*  I tend to hear that quite a bit.  hehe  I took it up when I was about 13 or so.  

It was something to do with my hands to keep me busy more than anything else.  I find it relaxing.  I don't do anything fancy or complicated.  Pretty much just straight knit or perle(can never remember if its perle or pearl for knitting hehe) once in a great while.  

Currently, I'm working an afghan.  Well, sort of.  hehe I started it a year or so ago and I do a bit on it here and there. lol.

that is cute. you started when you were 13? lol. that is funny. i cant picture a 13 year old boy knitting.

i cant knit fancy stuff either. i knit scarfs and that is the extent of my great talent. lol. i can barly pearl. i have to straight knit most of the time because i get confused. lol. a knitter i really am not, but at least i try. lol. :;):

i get board of working on the same thing, so i have about 5 scarfs on the go, but i have not touched any of them in quite some time now. lol. i get board easily. lol. then when i start again i do knit a lot. then i leave it for a while. i am funny that way.

IC,

Try writing all the racing thoughts down before you try to go to sleep and see if it alleviates it, a little.  This works great for some.........

Ruminating is a part of depression when your mind gets stuck on something and that's all you want to talk about or think about.  It drives the people around you away, and they start to avoid you..............Here she come again, and she'll tell us all the stupid stuff about her ex!  Let's get out of here, before she comes over here.

Chances are it's working to keep you depressed, so if you do it, it's best to try to change this....  I think we sometimes think that if we think something to death, it won't bother us anymore...like desentizing your mind and reactions.  I don't think this is true, though.  I think it keeps the depression rolling.  

                                                       Jackie  

Thanks for the reply jackie,

I already do a lot of writing myslf. i find that it helps to write out my thoughts. It is very theraputic and i encourage others to take up writing as a daily activity as well.

I dont talk to other people, just myself so i dont drive people away with it. The only people I talk to in real life are my t and pdoc really and that is their job to listen to me about what my current problems are that are bothering me and to help me sort out those issues. So that really is not too much of an issue with me.

I agree that when we keep re-hashing issues and thoughts and ideas  it helps to keep us depressed and i need to find a way to let these obsessive ideas and thoughts go. Writing it out helps though becuase it gets it down on paper and out of my head to a certain degree.

Nah, I actually do have something to say. :p

People tell me I think very deeply, and that this implies some sort of rich inner life on my part. I guess that's true to an extent, but mostly I torment myself by thinking of the most ridiculous things. Usually I bring these issues to my therapist, if only to gauge her reaction and find out just how crazy I sound to other people. ("One time, I was in Disney World, and I had this feeling that aliens had taken over the world and we were really all in the Matrix . . . ")

You can just call me a permanent party to the Obessive Ruminating list. :grin:

BTW, writing down those pesky thoughts really does help. Having tried it myself, I highly recommend it . . . it's better than medicating yourself with food, anyway! -_-;;

I've been better whilst busy: gardening, dog walking, reading - my head doesn't race so much at present  :).  Except in my dreams, now there's a different kettle of fish!  On and on and on ........  

Welcome Mana K!

Last week hubby and I were away: from work, the computer, TV, newspapers, family ...... and I didn't talk to myself at all!  But it started once we were back; within 24hours I was having conversations, 'putting the World to rights'.  Mainly regarding my mother's lack of sending us an anniversary card: wondering why she didn't bother, going through the various excuses she might make when she next phones - probably due to the fact that my sister was visiting her after a break of 5 years .... and other little things are agitating me into talking to myself, in my head so far: not out loud - YET  :sadwalk:

Oh my God. I am in tears. I thought I was the only one whose brain wouldn't shut up. I'm on Lithium for it and it's not working. I've spent the last several months begging my mind to shut up. I physically squeeze my head to try and make it stop. It's so bad it happens in my dreams. I hear songs over and over. Phone numbers, snippets of conversations, sounds of everything, commercials...I can't make it stop. I try relaxation techniques, meditation, medication...you name it. Sometimes I just want to shoot myself in the head to make it stop. I wouldn't of course. Hell I don't even have a gun...but it's a figurative thing. I just wish my head would shut up once in a while. It's so bad I get headaches from it. I am shocked to see that there are others who are going through this too.

OH my, Two of Me! Try writing all these things down on a piece of paper to 'get them out!' My youngest daughter has the 'hearing worm', where she has the songs running through her head that she sings in music at school. We just sing them when they bother her at the top of our lungs, and this helps them leave her memory.

I had the obsessive thoughts when I first began with an anxiety disorder. I know how the same pattern of thoughts can bother one, as I've been there. Worry about things that one wouldn't be able to control; what a waste of my time.

Racing thoughts are difficult to deal with. This is something that meds can stop. Talk to your doc about assessing and adjusting your meds to put an end to this, as it's bothersome, to say the least.

((((((((((((((((((((((((((Two of Me))))))))))))))))))))))))

Jackie

We are working on meds...lithium, but it doesn't seem to be doing much so far. I see him again on the 7th and we'll be talking about upping my dose. But it gives me the shakes something fierce. This has only been happening about the last 4 months or so. Just came out of nowhere. I've been dealing with bipolar/mania for years and years. And since it's started I've had many more and much worse headaches than ever. I'll try the writing it down thing, but that won't always be possible. I have a hand injury and can't always hold a pen...but I'll give it my best shot if it's going to stop the craziness in my head.

I cannot seem to stop ruminating about the meaning of life, God, who am I, where it's all going to end etc. It's like I have to get to the answer but, of course, there is no way. It really drives me crazy. Is this a type of OCD - or more like a depression?

Sometimes I want to 'get there' so I know how it's going to be: that way I can tell whether anxiety is going to ruin the event for me. Forewarned is forearmed!

If we know we can deal with things easier. Journalling helped me a lot several years ago when my mind was very unsetttled. Fear of the unknown causes lots of anxiety which gets into a spiral of 'what if'........

Shaking with lithium is an unacknowledged side effect. My Dad had lithium for over 30 years and now the drs are trying to blame his shaking on parkinsons! They will not listen to me: if they admit it's the lithium he might sue ..........

What do you like doing? Hobbies? Reading? Concentrate on what gives you pleasure. Sometimes it is hard to stop our minds racing so learning relaxation might help. Keep posting <WAVE>

I thought maybe I had already posted here, but it seems not. In any case, this is so relevant at the moment. My obsessive thinking has taken a new turn (again) - I have always obsessed to some degree about conversation I am going to have, letters I need to write, letters I would like to write but daren't ! The latest turn has been writing poetry in my head - and maybe it has given me the key to a partial solution to the other thoughts. I have found myself writing and rewriting poems for days and weeks at a time (if you knew me, you would realise how strange that is because poetry and I just do not mix!). Every time I stop doing something that occupies my brain - especially when I am in the car - back would come the poem. The really weird thing has been though that when it is finished in my head, I write it in about ten minutes and then it is gone from my brain (which of course moves on to the next poem) - and I have been getting good reviews for my poems on a writing website. So maybe I need to transfer that to the letters etc. - even those I won't ever send. Now I just need to work out why my brain has started writing poetry - my high school English teacher would think I had lost my mind

My mind is always racing especially before bed or if I wake up in the middle of the night.Sometimes I will be reading something and I will have to read the same thing over and over again becasue I realize that I was thinking about something at the same time and cannot concentrate! Or I will be watching tv and be thinking so much that I will forget to change the channel back to the showI am watching, if I change it on the commercial or something!!!!
Also I have bad concentration, like if I am reading, I can't concentrate if there is music or tv in the background!

I can be the same: lacking in concentration if my mind is over-active because something is bothering me. If I am unsettled it happens a lot. If anyone unravelled my brain at such times they would lock me in a darkened room :-)))

This is great! Now I have a name for what I have always thought was my quirky mind in overdrive. I obscess over what to write in e-mails. Takes me a week some times to finish, going over and over the contents in my head for days. I love holding "conversations" with my dog and cats when I'm preparing for an encounter with someone. I always have to think "ahead" to what might be the topic of conversation. I will go over it and over it again from different angles. When my depression gets really bad I ruminate out loud for hours.
This post only took me half an hour to run through my mind over and over and over....
moxielady

Wow...this is me too...lol...scary. I too can think "ahead" of the conversation then therefore loose all thought at times because my brain is so scrambled...from listening to the current conversation, still digesting what was said, and somehow thinking it is a brilliant idea to think ahead too...rofl. I can relate to all that have posted thus far....except I've always called it gerbil on a wheel syndrome...lol...because I can literally come back to the same portion of the subject that I'm still mulling over in my mind from minutes/hours ago and partly because I feel like my mind is constantly churning...often back to the same subject matter rehashing it in my poor little mind!

Good to know I'm not the only one.... :)

Join The Club! <wave> - whilst I was away with hubby over the weekend I didn't have time to ruminate: now we're back ........ conversations that might happen or that I would like to happen ....... don't think I'm talking out loud: yet! VBG

Wow....its making sense now....perhaps I do have OCD...I mean I am definately go over conversations out aloud how they should go, how they might go from every angle. I can't help my brain will just not shut up. Grr. I pull my hair out obsessively and I clean like mad. If I feel like nothing is going right and I'm really anxious all those behaviours go into overdrive. wish I could stop.

I think it was Dante that said "hell is an endless conversation with oneself about oneself."

Oh yes.

Rumination--mostly over very unpleasant events--is one of my biggest problems; my mind just won't turn off. The p-doc prescribed Seroquel 50mg/night for the resulting insomnia. That helps me go to sleep, but it doesn't address the problem during the day.

Mutter, mutter; grumble; growl ... I'm 'at it' today after His Brother phoned at 7.18 a.m. I was fast asleep, hubby didn't hear the phone and thinking it was an emergency call from work I leapt out of bed. Apparenlty his mother had been taken to hospital - again - so his brother phoned to tell us. We live 2hours journey away, don't know whether we are supposed to drop everything and dash ..... he never says, just leaves the message hanging. We didn't: would never dash over there as we have our commitments and own health to care for.

But I've been grumbling all day ........

Welcome to Our World ;-)

Hmm this sounds just like me. Does thinking about yesteryears constantly and possible future failures constantly count or would these two not count for rumination. I had a pdoc diagnose me when I was 8 or 9 with this (OCD) but just thought he didn't know what he was talking about.

The reason I'm here is that I was just resting on the porch and realized I was drifting off into thought and not even in the present moment at all, then the more I thought about it, the more I became aware that I constantly do this...even the thinking about thinking too much was keeping me from the present.

Hep here? Anyone?

Wow there's a name for that. I do it all the time. If I'm not talking to someone then I'm thinking about all sorts of things in my head, there is never a silent moment. The only time that my mind doesn't have a million things on it is when I do the trance hair pulling thing. Which I'm starting to see how all these things are connecting. I think about things over and over again which makes me anxious or upset and when I'm anxious I pull my hair. I had no idea that the whole thinking about different things constantly like that was an ocd thing. Oh dear

I talk to myself all the while. When in the garden or walking the dogs or shopping ........ usually my dreams are in the past which leaves the daytime to the 'now' - unless I'm particularly stressed. Then my mind is having conversations continually!

It's OK. Accept. It's what makes us us, me me and you you .............. it's a way of sorting out our anxieties etc. without actually hurting anyone else!

Off now to wander round the garden ...........

Is there anyone at all that can possibly reply to my previous post??

Thats what I do alot Epic, I think about things that happened in the past over and over and over again, its quite annoying especially because its always been moments when I have felt ashamed or embarrassed or really upset about something. I think about possible future scenarios over and over again all the time too, I'm not an expert so I'm not sure if this is actually ruminating but it seems to fit to me.

Thanks Starlight.