I don't know if anyone is interested in joining me in practising something in real life.

Basically i think that a lot of my fear, anxiety and nevousness comes from not feeling able to communicate what i'm feeling and thinking about people, and i tend not to say anything and let things fester rather than dealing with my feelings as they arise. I think this is pretty damaging and a cause of a great many ills that i have, such as, low self-esteem, depression, feeling hurt and social anxiety. I really want to take command of my own space rather than be affected by some cause which can be dealt with.

So i'd like to practise, in the mode of behavioural therapy, telling people what i'm feeling and thinking. So, for instance, the next time i feel strong emotions about someone, whatever they happen to be, i want to tell the person to whom they apply. But i want to tell them in a controlled manner and, actually, in a kind of detached manner.

Like me, you might be thinking that sounds really hard. It is hard, and i feel a little scared thinking about it. But if you know anything about behavioural therapy, you'll know that putting people in scary and testing situations is exactly the kind of thing the therapist does. Basicially a situation is practised until it stops being scary or a great deal less so.

Is anyone interested in joining me in trying this? Maybe we can motivate one another. If not i can still report back here and tell you how i went on - that's if i find the courage to do it.

im down ! i just started cbt so bring it..

perhaps u could go first so i better understand

Its been a really interesting week Cookie.

I've tried it and i've been mostly pleased with how its made me feel.

Taking command and responsibility for my feelings is quite empowering and invigorating. I'm really surprised at myself.

I feel that it's a mindset that i have to continue with though. It's a practice, as i said before. But it's something i think is well worth pursuing.

Cookie, i'm sorry if i'm not explaining what i'm doing very well. Basically if i feel an emotion i let it be known, to whomever it applies to. Instead of saying nothing i say something. It doesn't matter what i say as long as release how i'm feeling and let it out. It has the effect of making me feel more control of my life and, actually, calmer in a way. It's so interesting to experience this.

This post has been edited by Mogwai: Oct 8 2009, 05:01 PM

should be interesting i get pi**ed off easily lol and well my bf is comming over to stay tonight and mum is pmsing hahahah..

its going to be colourful.. i will keep u posted!

Great idea. I'll tell those three people that I have a humongous crush on them . . .

Seriously, though, it is a great idea, but I don't think I will participate. Confronting my parents about years of hidden emotions is taxing enough. Besides, I think I've tried something like that before, but never reaped desirable results.

I want to hear how you guys do, though! You've got my support! Let us know how things continue to unfold.

well i have been fairly honest with my feelings anyway sometimes i let the small things slide.. but im going to try it ..

lucky for me my child hood was great so there is nothing there i have to worry about its more my mum and her with my weight right now i have put on 20 kgs in the past 3 yrs argh! bring it

Good luck with it Cookie. But I think it will take a while to fully appreciate what we're doing. I mean, it feels a bit strange for me at the moment, because of course i have all the same feelings of low self-esteem and worrying about whether i'm hurting people's feelings and so on. But taking responsibility for my own life means i can judge, in a grown-up way, what my intentions towards people are. And if my intentions are mostly good, or justified, or understandable i shouldn't worry about hurting others' feelings and trust my integrity.

And Angel, you are absolutely right - the other side to this is to be straigtforward about the positive feelings we have towards people too! I very much agree with that. Again this is another practice that i will have work through. And yes Angel you should ask out all the people you fancy lol! Sorry this kind of thing didn't work for you last time you tried it.

I like this idea, of trying a new technique. Not sure what's described above is the most useful for me right now (not that I don't have the underlying issue though).