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 Nov 12 2004, 12:28 PM
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Gold Member
 Mood Match Champion!
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,404
Joined: 12-July 04
Member No.: 89
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sorry Eileen that i didn't come back here earlier and at least said thank you. i think you were right that if you have PTSD and suffer from other traumas then it would make the PTSD worse. afaik ASD does have the same trigger though, the traumatic experience, but is a 'first reaction', well that's how i understood it.
unfortunately there isn't a doc i could ask about such things :( (in aug/sept i had hoped i'd find one, but well... anyways looks like docs generally aren't somebody one can ask a thing, hereabouts, ...well but that is another topic)
i found some answers on my previous question though, thinking and reading again about Acute Stress Disorder and PTSD.
i've re-read it in ICD 10 and found that acute stress disorder only applies when not having had another disorder before. so that's that, per definition.
so i suppose when diagnosed ptsd already, it doesn't matter what else happens, or how the reactions on that, it is ptsd. i had been wondering because of this description of the differences - the clear time window of the reaction, and the strongly dissociative reactions. but then, it does make sense to me now: of course it is possible to have an acute stress reaction, in the way described in the definition of ASD, but having PTSD already, the acute thing isn't a disorder on it's own, but just another reaction to another stress/event, can still be a distinct reaction on something / more things happening. just isn't called ASD then cuz a disorder is already there.
well that's how i figure it out now anyway.
--------------------
Ce qui embellit le désert, dit le petit prince, c'est qu'il cache un puits quelque part...
* "What makes the desert beautiful," says the little prince, "is that somewhere it hides a well." *
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Jan 1 2005, 07:27 PM
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Junior Member
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 98
Joined: 1-January 05
From: USA
Member No.: 957
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It took me quite some time before I realized I suffered from this after a horrible relationship. Death treats, threats of physical harm. I felt so disgusted with myself that I could have this though. I thought it was only for people who were in wars and combat. To help others who may think they have it, here's what I went though. If I saw someone that looked remotely close to that person, my heart would beat so fast, I would start shaking, get cold...i guess that'd be a panic attack, or close to one. I would be scared out of my mind for days after that. When I could sleep, it was a restless one, filled with nightmares. I constantly obessed with that person coming back to kill me as he said he would. I didn't tell anyone about it, that probably made it worse. I couldn't even say his name, or think it. I couldn't talk to anyone with that color of hair, or body type. I finally went to the doctor, and got a dr phil book and I wrote and wrote every little detail about the relationship. Then I typed it up on the computer, then I showed people. The medicine and the writing helped me put that nightmare behind me. I'm still on the medicine, but I am doing much better-still can't say his name though...and seeing someone looking like him now still freaks me out, but not nearly as much.
Thanks so much for listening. :)
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Jan 2 2005, 05:15 PM
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Junior Member
Group: Junior Member
Posts: 98
Joined: 1-January 05
From: USA
Member No.: 957
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Thank you a bunch for the compliment. And I don't mind at all about the med question. Right now I'm on Lexapro. I tried Zoloft, but it didn't agree with me at all. Lexapro is so very expensive though, I am going to try to see if I can get put on a different medication I can afford! And no, I'm not in therapy. I should be, but once again, it's expensive. I do have insurance, but I don't trust the insurance. Currently, if I buy a drug, I have to pay up front and send in the receipt to the company. Eventually they reimburse me part of the money. But if they do that with therapy...oh gosh. I can't afford that! That's why I'm here. This is my therapy. I do have issues still. I still have nightmares sometimes, and I still get freaked out if I think of him. A lot of the time I still blame myself, even though I know I didn't do the things he did..I didn't cause it, but I blame myself for not leaving before I did. I recall I felt guilty back then, guilty cuz marriage was supposed to be forever and I was married. That sounds so silly to me now.
I tend to babble, have you noticed! Ha. I'm just so very glad I can talk to people how listen and understand me. It's very comforting, like I'd been searching for this place. Now it's wrapping me up in a warm cozy blankie! Thanks again.
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Jun 18 2005, 10:28 AM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 05
From: Washington
Member No.: 1,525
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This is very difficult for me to write. When I was younger I tended to "wallow" in the negative and I did not have a clue about why I felt so miserable. Now, it causes all the muscles in my jaw, back of my neck and shoulders to become as hard as a rock.
I have been diagnosed with PTSD over, and over, and over, and over again during the past fifteen years. It began as panic attacks when I was a teenager. Well, I cannot say that is really when it "began".
By the time I was in my early twenties I was experiencing night terrors and thought I had a heart condition. By my mid twenties I decided I could not handle it anymore and was diagnosed with acute anxiety disorder and, again, PTSD.
Lately, I transferred my identification and debit cards to a wallet. In the midst of doing this I misplaced them. Later, I became convinced that a neighbor who visited stole them. This was the most terrible feeling. For days I was in a panic with this immense feeling spread throughout my entire body, seering through my limbs and setting my chest on fire. I began to question whether I should let anyone in my house anymore and I could not believe someone could do this, but I did not confront the individual, because I am logical enough to know that I cannot be "sure".
Finally, after a week of panic a family member discovered what I'd done. I was relieved that it was not another person who took these items, because I want to think well of people. But, I am very disturbed over not remembering.
Yesterday, when I was fishing with my bf, somehow we exchanged poles and when I reeled in I was dumbfounded as to how my bait became a worm, when I originally had power bait. I felt that shock come over me again realizing I had a giant lapse in memory. Only it turned out that it wasn't me. We had switched poles.
Then, a few moments later I went up on the shore and my bf said he needed to use the restroom. So, I was standing there with a friend and we were chatting and suddenly I noticed our car was not there any more. My first thought was, "How could someone steal it out from under our noses like that?" I felt panicked and exclaimed, "Where did the car go?" My friend said, "Isn't that your car?" and pointed to a similar car of a different color.
In those brief few seconds I wondered if we had parked somewhere else, even though it was an immense parking lot by a lake with only about five cars parked in it.
I felt puzzled.
Then, I heard the engine and realized my bf had driven it to the bathroom.
Having several of these instances occur in a short time period is very stressful for me. I hate second-guessing myself.
To add to the distress, I spent the weekend when I lost my ID and debit card in a very strange state. I think it could be due to dehydration which occurs when I become anxious and stop taking care of myself. It seems I shut down and even though I suffer with a dry mouth and sore throat, it's as if a part of my mind says, "To hell with you!" and will not let me drink water.
Most everyone does not have a clue about this. They probably view me as a goody two-shoes whose parents coddle and spoil. I guess I present myself in such a way that people believe I have a lot of self-confidence and professionalism.
But, inside, I struggle quite a bit. During that weekend I took Tylenol, because I had an immense headache, which is rare for me, and I went to bed. I wanted very badly to attend a BBQ, but I just felt very, very bad for some reason. I found myself really "out of it", and I woke up suddenly during this nap and felt the terror and relived the experience of hearing that my step father was killed in a car accident. This happened way back in 1989 and I do not think about it much anymore. It is only the shavings on the tip of the iceburg.
Anyway, enough about that for now. I just want know about others with similar experiences of PTSD and acute anxiety disorder.
And, by the way, I began taking Paxil about seven years ago, coupled with BuSpar, which worked its way up to a pretty high dose. Then, I moved, lost insurance, freaked out and tried to go without medication. I became very ill for six months and did something I'd never done before: drank alcohol.
Finally, I pulled out of that and needed help, so I saw a psychologist and a psychiatric nurse. I'd found a clinic, prior to this, and they prescribed Lexapro, which did not work at all, and then the psychiatric nurse prescribed Effexor and I also tried Neurontin, which caused me to become really, really weird and needed to go home from work that day...(they made me :O.)
Eventually, I became sick of that whole deal and just went to my family doctor and told her that Prozac works for my mother and sister, so perhaps I should try it. She deemed it reasonable that since our genetic components are similar, there was a good chance it would work for me, as well.
So, that is what I take now. The three days weening off the Effexor and going onto the Prozac made me realize exactly how sick I really am without medication. I had to stay in my bedroom and keep to myself, because I just couldn't shake that hopeless feeling that I didn't want to live anymore.
I have a tremendous amount of difficulty sleeping and this is off and on. I am startled by sharp noises (like certain "sneezes" that seem to reach a higher decibal level than normal) and sudden movements...especially when I am a passenger in a vehicle and do not have control.
Most of the time I can be irritable when I am at home. After working all day I am drained and just want to do something to keep my mind off reality, such as read, play with the dogs, garden, watch a movie, write, paint, etc. (But, if I am not on Prozac I am hopelessly depressed.)
Thank you for your patience.
What I am looking for with this post is some insight into what these symptoms may turn into and what I possibly need to do. I don't want to overreact or scare myself, but I am worried when I suddenly do not recall something at all and start suspecting other people.
Is this just part of aging? I am in my early thirties. Is it most likely from being dehydrated? I know that can effect one's system in many ways. I know it is hard to tell.
Will taking something natural like Valerian Root help?
--------------------
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
----Albert Einstein
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Guest_Moonheart_*
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Jun 18 2005, 12:32 PM
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Guests
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Hi Croatia, Your symptoms are very typical PTSD. The lapse of memory, the paranoia, the startling, the hypervigilance... all of these are severe PTSD. I have all of the symptoms you describe as well. It's a miserable way to live. There are many people that can help you on this forum and there are many links posted at the top of the page to explore and that will help you with this disorder. Also typing it into Google would be helpful as well. Usually most of us benefit the most from a combination of therapy and medication. Only your doctor can tell you what is best for you however. Talk therapy has been extremely beneficial in my experience. I wish you well and keep asking questions. There's lots of loving people on this forum that are ready to help. Take care, Moonheart 
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Jun 18 2005, 08:19 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 05
From: Washington
Member No.: 1,525
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Moonheart,
It is great to know that there is a place like this to go to. Most of the time I don't feel like talking to anyone about my problems. I really need to begin doing yoga again, because that relieved a lot of stress for me. Talk therapy does not work well for me, as I get a headache and become tense all over when I talk about the past. I am kind of tired of talking about the past. It doesn't seem to help anymore, but just interferes with having a good day. I am more concerned with some of the issues I have at present and how to deal with them.
Prozac is definitely the best thing that's happened for me.
I will admit, one thing I've been struggling with for quite a while is loneliness. I find it extremely difficult to make friends. Sometimes I feel I am not socially "fun". I have some people who swear I am hilarious, etc., but I never feel that way. It's that way about the things I accomplish, too. I will be told that I am doing an exceptional job, but still feel empty and as if there is something others are not telling me about my performance.
There is a web site forum I joined recently having to do with dogs. I'm beginning to feel as if I simply exist there, because there is interaction amongst the other members, but they rarely directly interact with me. I tend to focus on the facts more and cannot adapt to the warm, friendly atmosphere. They joke about a lot of things, but I guess I don't think it's too funny and I have nothing to say about it. I don't know if it has to do with the way I write, my opinions, or what.
I've learned some big lessons lately regarding the matter of whether or not people "like" me, so I don't care too much anymore. I simply wonder what it is I may be doing that causes me to be ignored. My hunch is that I am a "dry" person and people find it hard to warm up to me. I have tried joking around, but it doesn't come across right...or something. :glare:
--------------------
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
----Albert Einstein
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Guest_Moonheart_*
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Jun 21 2005, 02:39 AM
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Guests
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Hi Croatia, I've been gone for a couple days and it's late so I'm just cruising the boards, not posting in depth or anything. But I wanted you to know that I was here and didn't want you to think I was ignoring you or anything. I'll be back online sometime tomorrow around noonish and I'll write more then. In the meantime, here's a big (((((((croata))))))) and I'll talk to you soon. Take care! Moonheart
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Jun 21 2005, 06:58 PM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 05
From: Washington
Member No.: 1,525
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Dear Moonheart,
I would like to share with you something that happened yesterday. Most of my life I've felt lonely...especially recently. When I was younger I had not idea why I felt this way and probably didn't even recognize that loneliness was, indeed, the feeling I was having.
Well, I belong to web site forum for dog lovers. I've been going there for over a month now, because one of my favorite pasttimes was to search through Google Images for puppy photos. This has always brought a calming sensation over me, so I figured that going to this website would be good for me.
I tried to be as helpful as possible when I posted...as accurate as possible, using many resources and steering folks to sites that can help solve their problems. One example I can give you is a person whose dog has recurring ear infections. If an ear infection is treated with several different antibiotics over a period of time and the actual organism that is causing the infection is unknown, it could be Pseudomonas, a bacteria that, over time, gains resistance when treated with antibiotics inappropriate to its extermination.
Anyway, I began to slowly feel left out and I didn't want to say anything or beg for attention, because I didn't want people to think I am a weirdo. So, last night I went into a chat room with two of the gals I feel alienated from and we discussed my perceptions openly. Come to find out they feel that the way I type on the board is "over their heads" and that they don't comprehend half the things I say. Also, they said that they just write the same way they speak and I explained that the way I type is natural to my thought patterns. It is effortless and I cannot help it or change it.
I told them that I always feel that people do not socialize with me, because I've said something stupid or perhaps I actually missed something and Pseudomonas has been discovered to be something else recently and I am misinformed. I always feel I am "weird" and lack social skills. Maybe I just bore people.
They told me to let my hair down and goof off. It is so hard for me to break the ice with people...I take a long while to warm up. Anyway, I thought I would share this in case anyone else is having a similar situation.
I simply spilled my guts and said that I feel very lonely. It has a positive outcome, because they said that judging by the way I write they would have absolutely no idea that I had these feelings. I am glad I was open, even though it is uncharacteristic of me and I felt that I opened my heart...a risk I feel cannot be afforded.
In addition, I quite often feel alienated, even in my own home, because there is no one to talk to. My sister has told me, snapped at me in fact, saying flat out that she DOES NOT want to hear about Hobo Spiders or what I have recently discovered about them.
My bf does not want to talk about things, as he is quiet and always says there aren't any thoughts in his head at all. So, if I do start a conversation it ends up being a sort of self-directed dialogue where I am basically arguing my own points. It's been this way for years, so you can imagine what it has been like to try to integrate into the social world at work where there are conflicting personalities and ornery people to contend with. Sometimes I feel as if I am in high school dealing with petty adults who gossip and whisper spiteful curses. I just cannot relate to this kind of behavior at all and it pains me deep inside.
I have a very wide scope of interests that range everywhere from painting, writing, photography, hobo spider physiology and behavior, grizzly bear behavior and habitat, literature, music, camping, rottweilers and obedience, geography, culture, languages, ancestry, and so on, but my family refers to these areas of study as "obsessions" so in some way it seems they attempt to judge this as an "inferiority" on my part. I beg to differ, because this is what causes my adrenalin to pump. So, it is very painful when each time I feel a rush of energy and wish to share something I find extremely pleasant and exciting I am shut down by people who tell me they don't want to hear it and that the things that interest me do not interest them. Yet, I cannot tell you the number of times I have listened patiently and relentlessly to these same family members as they rant incessantly about the same old co-dependent relationships and fits of jealousy.
Does anyone else here feel this way?
--------------------
If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
----Albert Einstein
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Jun 22 2005, 08:51 PM
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Gold Member
Group: Gold Member
Posts: 1,285
Joined: 12-August 04
From: CA
Member No.: 488
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yes.
friends i've kept over the years seem to have no interest in things outside of their spheres. not that this is necessarily a bad thing, but it can certainly make for boring and limited conversation. i have no answer to that, other than to go our, join clubs or groups of people that share your interests.
like you, i also get caught up in my own personal research projects. and i'm fine with this. my coworkers also seem this way too. and yes, in many ways social interactions at work are very much high school--heck, even middle school!
this changed when i changed jobs and industry. as i'm in a reasearch facility, people are interested in 'weird facts' and share quite a bit of their own. and even try to outdo each other! there are of course those that don't, and that's fine too. may i ask what industry you're in? maybe finding something that fits with your interests where you can relate to people and you to them...
--------------------
Scarlet  |
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Jun 25 2005, 08:29 AM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 8
Joined: 11-June 05
From: Washington
Member No.: 1,525
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I think Nathaniel Hawthorne was definitely on to something!
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If you are out to describe the truth, leave elegance to the tailor.
----Albert Einstein
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Aug 14 2009, 04:56 PM
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Just Registered
Group: Just Registered
Posts: 3
Joined: 13-August 09
From: Chicago, IL
Member No.: 39,564
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QUOTE (firelizardee @ Jul 6 2004, 02:55 PM)  PTSD Humor
compiled by Deb
Signs you are experiencing PTSD:
1. Overwhelming urge to strangle any person who suggests that you should stop wallowing in the past.
2. You fear that nothing really exists unless you kick it really hard.
3. Total familiarity with the concept that your mind exists separately from your body, and who knows where your emotions have gone, or the other way around.
4. Your friends accuse you of being antisocial because instead of socializing, you are spending your time contemplating either, bombing your therapist's office, bombing your family home, bombing your county mental health building, bombing your local social service agency, or trying to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell, you scream, "NO! I'm not being antisocial, I'm being obsessive-compulsive! If I were being antisocial, I'd beat the crap out of you right now..."
5. Your future is canceled out, deactivated and corrupted by your past. Your past can also corrupt the futures of others and should be recalled to prevent any further corruption.
6. You stop to think and then forget to start again.
7. You always assume that your gut feeling is wrong, even though you just knew that sign saying, "DANGER MINE FIELD AHEAD" was something you should have paid attention to.
8. You assume your friends hate you when they don't smile at you, or when they do smile at you, or when they sleep or when they wake.
9. You avoid hating yourself in the morning by sleeping until noon.
10. Your main purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
11. You use self help books as walls, dividers, room partitions and paper weights.
12. You question the nature of knowledge when you still can't figure out the nature of college.
This disorder may be caused by one or more of the following...
1. Having to try to reason with people who are totally out of contact with reality - e.g., family members, psychiatrists, social workers, just about any mental health practitioner, employers or anyone in a position of unquestioned authority.
2. Being born female.
3. Being born male, but you were treated like a female.
4. An average of 3 hours sleep per night.
5. A steady diet of either no food, only comfort food or fast food when all of a sudden you realize you are starving and haven't eaten between flashbacks.
6. Your parent's belief that dysfunction and corruption would not have a bad effect on their children and that through denial they could pretend that you didn't exist, and through lack of protection, you would learn how to fend for yourself. This is the first thing that has made me smile in a long time! Thanks!
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Aug 14 2009, 06:05 PM
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Senior Member
Group: Senior Member
Posts: 407
Joined: 25-July 09
Member No.: 38,965
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Thanks for the smileQUOTE (invisible1 @ Aug 14 2009, 11:56 PM) QUOTE (firelizardee @ Jul 6 2004, 02:55 PM) PTSD Humor
compiled by Deb
Signs you are experiencing PTSD:
1. Overwhelming urge to strangle any person who suggests that you should stop wallowing in the past.
2. You fear that nothing really exists unless you kick it really hard.
3. Total familiarity with the concept that your mind exists separately from your body, and who knows where your emotions have gone, or the other way around.
4. Your friends accuse you of being antisocial because instead of socializing, you are spending your time contemplating either, bombing your therapist's office, bombing your family home, bombing your county mental health building, bombing your local social service agency, or trying to solve puzzles that open portals to Hell, you scream, "NO! I'm not being antisocial, I'm being obsessive-compulsive! If I were being antisocial, I'd beat the crap out of you right now..."
5. Your future is canceled out, deactivated and corrupted by your past. Your past can also corrupt the futures of others and should be recalled to prevent any further corruption.
6. You stop to think and then forget to start again.
7. You always assume that your gut feeling is wrong, even though you just knew that sign saying, "DANGER MINE FIELD AHEAD" was something you should have paid attention to.
8. You assume your friends hate you when they don't smile at you, or when they do smile at you, or when they sleep or when they wake.
9. You avoid hating yourself in the morning by sleeping until noon.
10. Your main purpose in life is to serve as a warning to others.
11. You use self help books as walls, dividers, room partitions and paper weights.
12. You question the nature of knowledge when you still can't figure out the nature of college.
This disorder may be caused by one or more of the following...
1. Having to try to reason with people who are totally out of contact with reality - e.g., family members, psychiatrists, social workers, just about any mental health practitioner, employers or anyone in a position of unquestioned authority.
2. Being born female.
3. Being born male, but you were treated like a female.
4. An average of 3 hours sleep per night.
5. A steady diet of either no food, only comfort food or fast food when all of a sudden you realize you are starving and haven't eaten between flashbacks.
6. Your parent's belief that dysfunction and corruption would not have a bad effect on their children and that through denial they could pretend that you didn't exist, and through lack of protection, you would learn how to fend for yourself. This is the first thing that has made me smile in a long time! Thanks!
--------------------
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Be who you are..
and say what you feel..
Because those who mind, don't matter..
and those who matter, don't mind.
-Dr. Seuss
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Oct 23 2009, 01:27 AM
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Newbie
Group: Newbie
Posts: 20
Joined: 22-October 09
Member No.: 41,818
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I have it. I feel like a walking nerve ending.
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Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), what it is, treatment, discussion, etc. |
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Depression Forums - A Depression & Mental Health Community Support Group > OTHER DEPRESSION & ANXIETY RELATED ILLNESSES > Personality Disorders
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welcome I*Alone
