To cut a long story short, my mum has been diagnosed with bipolar for around 12 years. She has been sectioned once when she was manic, and around 10 years later, despite knowing all the signs and having a loving supporting family and husband around her, she is on a manic high once again.

And the long bit....
Her and my dad have been happily married for 30 years and had things in place to recognise when this was happening to stop it from escalating and get the help needed. She has had lots of episodes of clinical depression over the last 10 years, but has come through it. She appeared to be 'herself' around 10 weeks ago after a, and she was enjoying life, but it has since spiralled out of control. She was on lithium and anti depressants for a number of years until she could no longer have lithium. She was then on depakote (sp?), which she had an allergic reaction to. She is no just on quatiapine (sp?) to help stabilise her mood if she becomes to high.

Her and my dad commute between their home in portsmouth and a holiday home (in the town i live in, hastings) and she has been staying there while he went to work. When in town one day (hastings), she came across scientologist's who basically roped her in and told her she could live her life medication free and medication is bad etc. She had meetings with these people and eventually became sucked in. In the process she pushed my dad away and decided he was the cause of all her problems, all of a sudden she needed him out of her life. It has escalated over the last 10 weeks to the point where she is accusing him of doing some awful things. She has also twisted and said things that are untrue about me to me. She has alienated her whole family, said outrageous things, not making sense. Spent ages 'looking for the answers' (the scientologist have told her to look through her past to find the cause of why she is like she is then she'll be cured!). So she has been 'looking into the photographs for the answers'. She has become manipulative, aggressive and just generally a nasty spiteful person. She has all of the symptoms of full blown mania spending, not finishing task's, racing when talking, not staying on one subject, aggressive, making life altering decisions as well as sometime just making no sense whatsoever. The last straw now is that she left my dad on the Monday and slept with another man 2 days later taking great pleasure in revealing this. This is not my mum at all. She is constantly on about how everything is about her, 'it's all about me' i'm doing this for me now, you can all F*** off etc. There is a lot more to it than that, but it's long enough as it is.

The problem..
She is currently registered in another county to where she is staying. She has travelled back to see her GP, he told her she needed to be back on her meds, she didn't like that and according to her, he was wrong. She went to see her mental health doctor, he said the same, apparently he was wrong. It all came to a head one night and we ended up taking her to my local A&E (as suggested by the local mental health team as she is not funded in this area for someone to come out). We waited in A&E for 3 1/2 hours with her on a manic high. A mental health nurse saw her and was concerned, said the same as the doctors, but she declined meds and was sent home with the arrangement a cpn would visit the next day. The cpn saw there was something wrong and she needed medication, but wasn't at the stage of being sectioned (she can turn 'normal' when needed). So they left and suggested she go back to her doctors in Portsmouth. She went back there, they said the same, she needs meds, but cant force her. She doesn't have a cpn, never has. She is now currently left at the holiday home on her own getting more and more high. We've basically been told we need to leave her to go over the edge before they can intervene.. is this right?!!!! She has already destroyed her relationship, my dad is in pieces. We are worried what harm could come to her while we 'wait'. We cant get a cpn out to keep an eye on her as she's in the wrong county, so whose going to see her go over the edge so she can get help? She wont go back to her doctors in portsmouth now.

Sorry it's so long, but any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.

to Df Sessierose,
I am sorry to hear about all you and your father are going through right now. I am sorry to say, but in most countries, you can not forse some one to take meds.

I guess you could try stopping by, ask a neighbour to pop in, or call her everyday. I guess she wouldn't let you stay with her if you could come up with a good excuse?

I am sorry I am not much help with your difficult delima.

Thanks for your reply. Unfortunately she has burnt all her bridges and quickly does so when she makes a new friend. The minute you go against anything she says no matter how trivial, she attacks verbally. She has also thrown things, but never physical thank god. She will let me in and i do try to see her every other day, but for my own sanity i can stay longer than that. I seem to walk away frustrated or in tears. It's not so much forcing medication, just getting some support. You'd thik she'd be entitled to a visit from a cpn, but no, because she's in the wrong county.

What country is she in? That may help with answers...we have people here from all over the world.

We're in the UK. I think my condensed question is, if she is keeping herself in the holiday home and doctors wont come out, how will she ever get help. she refuses to see doctors and will not take it that anything is wrong, everyone is is wrong in her opinion. But how can 20 plus of her family and friends all be wrong and doctors! Not one person has said she is ok. I does just feel like we've been told to sit and wait, but it's ****** hard when someone you love is going through this and even more so the effect on my dad.

That is very typical of a manic state, alot of people think they are fine and in control of their world. When the high is over they slip into depression and that is when they want help.

I am BP2 which is less dramatic highs and longer depressions, hopefully some one with BP1 will happen along and will have better ideas for you. I live in Canada and we don't get docs or health providers coming out to our home, we have to go to the Hospital.

I hope some-one comes along soon that knows more about how things are done in the UK

We did ask the doctors if it was possible for her to slip back into depression as at least we would be able to reach her there, but they said unlikely. We have Community psychiatric nurses over here, something she should have had the first time she was sectioned.

Thanks for your help.

(((((Sessierose))))))

God I feel for you so much and the stupid beaurocracy and rules that surrounds getting medical help is ridiculous. When will they learn that it's better to prevent something than to wait until someone goes 'over the edge'?

Sorry I know that's not helping. Do you think that you could persuade her to register with a new doctor in Hastings? You could always use the line about how the other doctors were wrong so she should re-register with a new one to persuade her. She could use the holiday home address and if they question it just say that her and your father have split up so she now resides there. Then maybe she could get a CPN?

PRT xx

Thank you, I does seem like the most difficult thing just to get help. Nobody seems to want to.

An update since i last posted for those that are interested...

I went to see my mum at the holiday home. When I arrived, the windows were all open and weird things on the patio (dried pasta, odd shoes throw everywhere etc). I tried the door and found it was unlocked, so went it. The caravan had been trashed. This is an £80k holiday home, bought 6 weeks ago. There was stuff everywhere, a mix of broken glass, knifes, clothes, rubbish, paper, cd's etc everything just all over the floors. Mirrors smashed, tv's ruined and walls with dents in amongst many other things. I had to climb through everything to get into the rooms. My mum would never leave the caravan unlocked and un alarmed, so my first thought was that I would find her dead in one of the rooms. Luckily she wasn't there.

There were odd things like tables balanced on each other, bath filled with cd's, water, knickers, tissue. I phoned my dad and him and my brother got in the car and made the 2 hr journey straight down. I phoned the police and filed a missing person report. They came out saw the state of the caravan and said they would go out looking for her. Just as we were about to start, she turned up, no shoes on, burnt as anything from the sun, her long white skirt had turned yellow at the bottom from dirt, she had cuts and grazes on her neck and had her chest half hanging out of her top. The police man was here when she arrived, but said he couldn't do anything and ring crisis response for advice. She turned up at 9:30pm, we spent until 11:30pm ringing around for help, being passed backwards and forwards. There was a point where me and my dad sat in his car and felt like giving up. The response team said get the police to bring her in, the police said it's not their place. We finally phoned seadoc (?), but again they said to bring her to A&E. During this time she made me and my brother cry, sat there giggling like a little child and mimicking what we were saying.

We finally took her to a&e and spent a few hours up there. When the mental health team came to assess her, they didn't ask to speak to us, just her alone. In which she played it all down, said she had simply got angry and thrown a few things (not completely trashed a brand new caravan). They said can I take her home and spend the night with her and they'll send someone out in the morning, oh and can my dad stay elsewhere (as she didn't like him due to the illness at that point)! I refused, said the caravan is uninhabitable and I would not take her home as earlier she was saying she could end it if she wanted to. With this they had to find her a bed. The cpn was awful, she freely admitted she didn't have the time to talk to us properly as she was too busy, she ignored my dad and was very abrupt and rude. Did she not understand that we saw this as our one chance to get her help?

She stayed as an informal patient of her own admission. The doctor assessed her the next day and was appalled. He said she was a very, very sick lady and was disgusted we never got help sooner. She was now in voluntarily, but if she tried to leave she would be sectioned. They were going to transfer her to Portsmouth in a few days as soon as a bed was available as this is where her mental health team are. I spent three hours with her one day, and she was awful. She started hitting herself in the head and I had to leave. We were hoping we were safe as the doctors told us she wouldn't be getting out and would get the help she needed.

She was transferred to Portsmouth 2 days later. But never made it into the hospital. She walk out before she was taken in, and as she was voluntary, they couldn't stop her. She walk the streets of Portsmouth with no money, phone or anywhere to go. Friends and family went searching for her. She was finally found and my brother took her to his where they waited for to doctors a cpn and an ambulance to arrive to have her sectioned, but again she went of her own free will. So we were worried that she would be able to walk out if she wanted.

As it turns out, she has got worse. She is now on a 28 day section minimum and is the only patient in the hospital that is not allowed to walk around the grounds of the hospital, she cant leave at all which really says something to how bad she is. She is now forced to have medication if she refuses it and is very slowly started to come back down. She is still very much on a high, dancing on tables, mimicking other patients, being manipulative.

So who knows. I just wish we had the help sooner, this wouldn't have escalated so far and now it's going to be a long road back down. Her friendships and relationships wont be the same again due to the things she has done. I just want my mum back.

This post has been edited by Trace: Jun 14 2009, 05:38 AM

Thank goodness she is finally getting the help that is so long overdue. Hopefully you and your dad will now be able to have some peace knowing she is being cared for. Make sure you take care of yourselves too!! You have done a fantastic job thus far and now take some time for yourselves.

Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

(((((SessieRose)))))

It's absolutely appalling that this was allowed to happen. When it's all settled down you may want to think about writing a letter to the local NHS trust about it - someone needs to start taking responsibility and not pass the buck.

I'm so sorry for what you're going through but at least finally someone is doing something. It must have been so difficult to see your Mum like that - thank goodness you went to visit her.

Please keep us posted on what happens. Hopefully now this can be the turning point you've been waiting for, although I realise it'll still be a long road to recovery. We're here if you need support.

PRT xx

Thanks for the replies and offers of support. I will keep you all updated. It just makes me sad to think that we're not the only ones that have had to deal with all these brick walls regarding help. The person that makes me the most angry is the cpn that dealt with her that night at A&E, she really couldn't be bothered with us and was prepared to send her back home. I would love to put in a complaint about her, it might make her think a bit more the next time she does an assessment. Surly if a person who has mental health issues says 'i'm fine, my family are just worried' you don't just take that as being the case, you investigate further

I know my dad will be doing something when mum is better. I think he did contact someone through the local media and they were interested in doing a story. So we'll see where that goes along with complaints to the NHS. They really have messed up our lives.

Thanks again for the support, i'll post again soon with an update.

I can commiserate with you regarding your mom's mania. I'm BP I and when I'm off meds, I can be as bad as your mom. There's been more than a few times I've had to go back and mend fences with my friends after a manic episode. I've been in the psych hospital a couple of times in the past and went voluntarily (meaning I could leave at any time.) We have "sectioning" here as well. Initially there's a 72 hour involuntary hold, after an assessment, the hold can be extended to 14 days if no improvement. Another assessment and no improvement, the hold is extended to 28 days. We don't have "visiting" psych teams that come to the house. Sometimes I wish we did.

I am glad your mom is finally getting the help she needs. It will take some time to get her back to a "normal" state as the meds take effect. Try to keep her away from the scientologist's, they are a royal pain in the *** with their thoughts regarding mental health.

Keep us posted how your mom's doing. Be sure to take care of yourself first.
Sheepwoman