my mom has bipolar disorder, and my dad had bipolar disorder. he died from his.

anyway, when i was a kid, she never let me have medication for my disorder, insisting that it's poison and that i need to just be a stronger person. i ruined every bit of social acceptance and all the friendships i had during high school, when i went totally off the wall with horrible swings and episodes, but she didn't let me get on even an anti-depressant for when i was suicidal. she just insisted that i needed to be "stronger".

now i'm 30. i've been on meds since i was 18. i made sure that i had a pdoc appointment lined up for my 18th bday, actually, because i was so sick of the swings. she always tried to talk me out of it.

i was just driving with her today, and gave her the latest med news. i'm off of lexapro and klonopin, but lithium has been added to contain a hypomania.

she got so upset!!! she almost cried!!! you'd think that lithium, forever the gold standard in the treatment of bipolar disorder, was rat poison or something with the way she was reacting. she said that her ex husband (2nd husband) was schizophrenic and on lithium, and was very violent. obviously, since he was violent, then i would become violent while taking lithium, because that must be what it does.

well, i tried to explain that he had a different condition, a form of paranoid schizophrenia, that clouded his mind back in 1982, and they tried with lithium to help him with his anger and moods, but it just wasn't working. however, it does work for me, a bipolar person. she is worried about me overdosing (i take 600mg a day, hardly an OD), and how i'll pay for blood tests (i have Medicare, enough money coming in, and i'm married to someone who would never let me not be able to pay for tests).

she doesn't understand that the different meds work in different ways, to regulate different parts of the brain. lamictal is thought to work on the calcium channels in your brain, for example. abilify is thought to regulate dopamine and seratonin. lithium is just lithium, and it works, and has worked since ancient times when they put "maniacs" in the sacred spring in turkey, where there is lithium in a rather high concentration in the water. i went to the most famous spring and swam in the water, and it was pretty cool .

she kept insisting that i don't need meds, especially lithium, which is so terrible and will make me violent!

why can't she get it? she's also bipolar, you'd think that she'd understand the huge need for meds with our condition. you can't just wish bipolar disorder away. you can't just wish ANY form of MI away, but bipolar disorder is one of those that totally must be regulated by meds (according to my pdoc).

she has an answer for that too, claiming that i could find a "natural" cure, and that the pharma companies are just trying to poison me!!! also, my doctor doesn't care about me and is only out to make money, nevermind that he's seeing me for free right now for the month until my medicare will reimburse.

HUH??!!! i don't think that lithium is unnatural, it's a naturally occurring element, and is even found in that spring in turkey i got to swim in. she just has no clue.

is there any way to help her get a clue? i keep telling her that i feel so much better, but she thinks i must be getting sicker. i've taken various meds since i was 18 and have been helped more or less by most, and she still feels this way. she's seen me in manic psychosis in the ER and still feels this way.

i tell her about the meds because she's one of the emergency contacts i list when i need to list them. my husband is first, and then my mom. she should know what i'm taking to be able to help (i think so anyway) in case doctors need to know in an emergency what i take. my dad was my contact before he passed away. i don't know if she actually would be helpful or even remembers half of my meds, except for the adderall (she "doesn't believe in" ADHD, despite my life-long struggle with it), and the dreaded lithium!

Lithium is a good medication for Bipolar. If you need it, and your doctor thinks so, you need it. Be glad you are 18 and can get this medication to get you stable. Maybe you could find some literature on it and let her read it. Otherwise, you just have to do what you know to be best - you and your doctor. Im so glad you are finally getting treatment for your Bipolar. That is super!!!!

Gentle Sun

"dreaded lithium" WOW!!!!!!!! That has to be bad news. I took lithium over 14 years. It kept me stable that long. Your mom should be put on it since she's BP. lol It is a natural occuring element (see Periodic Element Chart) that's classified as a salt. Lithium is the first pmed that worked for a variety of mental illnesses. Loon, Medicare pays 100% of lab tests and a lithium draw is really cheap anyway.

I told my mom that I am Bipolar. Her response: "That's a g****** lie. No one in my family is crazy!!!!!!!!!!" Like, she was undiagnosed BP, duh! I never brought up mental illness with her again-let alone tell her what meds I was taking. She'd probably split a seam if I told her I was taking lithium. lol My sis is my part-time caretaker. I've told her numerous times what meds I'm taking-she thinks it's too much and I'm overmedicated. She thought I was "normal" when I was without meds for almost 2 months. I was manic and able to leap tall buildings in a single jump (have I ever told you I can fly?)

Anyway, sis is my emergency contact and I usually carry a list of meds, doses and how many times/day they're taken with me (you might want to do this, too). She got the trauma nurses so confused when I shattered my arm. I had to tell her to shut up in order to give the nurse all the medication stuff and then how the accident happened (my sis didn't see it happen, yet she was telling them all about it.) The hospital still messed up my meds, even talking to my PNP.

Anyway, we both know lithium didn't make hub #2 violent. Schitzophrenics are either very quiet or very violent (what little I know about it.) in their delusional states.

Personally, IMO family generally don't have a clue about us. I gather this everytime I say something that is "shocking" they go off in tangents (like my mom). Maybe you shouldn't tell your mom what meds you take.
Sheepwoman

Hi Loon...

I totally agree with sheepwoman on this, too.

Also, any meds you are taking you should have a list of and carry with you at all times. This list should include not only the name of the med but also the doctor, the dose and dosage. You could also wear a medical bracelet with pertinent information on it. I used to wear 2 different ones before the conditions corrected themselves.

Knowing how your mother reacts to any form of a psych med...perhaps she isn't the best person to list as an emergency contact nor any kind Power of Attorney in the event something should happen to you. A trusted friend would be better but certainly not someone who opposes what you do...she can make matters worse for you in an emergency-type situation.

It sure sounds like you are handling your illness in a way that works for you and that is ALL that matters. You also sound like you have a supportive husband.

Be well and take good care of you....

MEZ

Hi Loonatik,

It is a bit sad that many of us can understand physical illnesses as these can be seen but do not grasp mental problems. It is not only evident from people's behaviour towards those having mental disorders, not on approval list of medical insurance, companies screening for any psychiatric visits and so on. For any small correctable mental disorder, people take as the patient should stay in mental hospital. These things are true in many countries of the world.

I myself has been through depression and mood swings and had a difficult life till I was able to control it by medicines. The problem with family generally is that they are so used to seeing you in that way that they do not understand that you have that problem. If one says something about his/her problems associated with it, they are discouraged and told that one is alright and there are no issues. It happens in this way and that person is destroyed day by day till the family says that how come it happened, he/she was not like that. But, that time is too late as by that time, much is lost but still, one can recover and lead a good life.

My mother has depression as well as my father and grandfather and none of them admitted that they has or had it. They just think that they are fine and we are talking nonsense that they have depression. My mother in law has depressioon and her children, from decades have not been able to convince her to take any medication.

I think that you are very lucky and intelligent that you found the problem in yourself and corrected it through medications although it was after 18 years. For me, it happened after 37 years so I have lost many happy times in stress, anxiety, distrurbed relationships, lack of friends and missed opportunities. But I am happy that I have recovered after that and now leading a good life enjoying life rather than thinking why am I on earth for just this suffering.

I wish that there are many people like you on earth who can diagnose these problems by themselves or lucky enough to have diagnosed by doctors and treated to have correct state of mind. I also wish that stereotyping of mental patients goes away and they are treated with same dignity as those with physical diseases or problems.

I commend you and hope all the best for you. Regarding your mom, if she is having bipolar, then she needs medicines and after mood stabilisation, she will respond more to new information such as about lithium. Otherwise, there is less chance that she will understand. You must have known now that one cannot improve the whole world. Improvement starts from oneself and depending upon circumstances, it progresses outwards. Everybody is responsible about him/her and you can guide them but cannot force them to their destiny.

Take good care of yourself.

alphabetagamma

Hi LoonATiK,

I'm sorry that you have to experience this. I think you have two problems; one with your mother and the other one with being safe in danger (have your meds correctly reported if you have to go to hospital).

The problem you have with your mother is a problem that people have wide over the world, mothers interfering, mothers that signals that they want their "children" to be otherwise then they really are. It's not a problem only with mothers of bipolars. I had a good book once about how to cope with different "mother types". I can't remember the title, but if you do a search on amazon on 'difficult mothers' (so you can read what the book is about), may be you find one that may be of help. It might help you to find a way to cope with you mother the way she is and to feel better in her company and with yourself.

That of course doesn't solve your problem with your meds. It's good that you have a good husband. May be you could list him up as the only one and let him have a list of your meds in his wallet. It seems that you can't trust your mother. If you should be so unfortunate to get into a car accident, you cant speak for yourself. The doctors that shall help you need the correct information about your meds. If someone give them wrong information, your life can be in danger.

The way you describe your mother it doesn't seem possible that she is responsible enough to have the responsibility about giving appropriate information about your meds.

If it feels safer to have two persons listed as caretakers, may be you and your husband can sit down and discuss how to find one to trust for the right information about your meds, - a friend, a nurse ...

Don't worry about your mothers reactions. She is ill and not trustable and you can tell her that if she says something. If she can't take that, that is her problem, not yours! You have the right to take care of your health.

Rosegirl