is there anyone out there? anyone who cares ? why do i always feel so lonely . like thwer is no one that i can talk to no one to let me cry on their shoulder, i want to be that strong person that i used to be but i am not .. most of my family does not know about my depression. my parents would flip .. my husband is in his own world and not a very good listener i have siblings but one i hate and the other is busy all thhe time , my friends i all work with and good news travels fast if you know what i mean..... i ned to talk to someone a person ,, some one who knows how it feels to wonder why and what is this all about and except for a measly paycheck , what is my purpose of going to work and if i didnt would it really matter ...... i am tired of so much the same ol stuf, i want to cry i want to scream i want to si i wantsomeone to understand and not tell me stupid things like ' you dont look fat or why would you do that or snap out of it , life is great !! wel f u 'life is great people' !! i struggle with this internal hell that will not go away!~ i want to si and not worry about how other people view it , its something i need right now something that will help me feel better, i just want a friend .. i am giving up today , given in to the pain the stupidity . life won my 2009 has oficially turned to crap .