So here we are, another sh*tty day, and OCD/depressed/ADD brain is spinning into high gear like it normally does.

How do you folks judge whether you have a good psychiatrist and counselor?

I've been through a half dozen over the last 10 years. The first I felt was too quick to prescribe meds rather than counseling. The next was more counseling, but I felt focused too much on my drinking at the time (I was 21 at the time, and felt like I was "normal" in that regard...all 21 year old kids were doing what I did. I'm now 31). The next doc dismissed my problem all together, asking me, "don't you think everyone gets down every now and again??". Then it was a psychiatrist who I felt was too much by the book and not open enough about things like 2x day adderall XR (my AM dose died off after about 5 hours) and the counselor I saw through his office flat out sucked (for example took a phone call from her daughter about what she was gonna bring for lunch during our session). Then I had what I felt was the first counselor I made a connection with, but while I thought she understanding of my struggles, it seemed over time there wasn't enough substance to our sessions. And the MD from the same office, while he was open to med trial and error more than the last psychiatrist (i.e. 2x day adderall XR), he really didn't seem that knowledgeable.

Now due to that last MD leaving his office for good for unknown reasons, I've switched to a counselor and psychiatrist closer to home. The pysch came per a friend's recommendation, and happens to be the only office in the state of CT who offers Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation therapy. In terms of the pysch I'm dealing with for meds, he seems like the best I've dealt with so far, specifically his knowledge and willingness to work with my own research. The counselor I haven't quite figured out yet.

All that said, could perhaps some of you share criteria you use to judging whether you've found a good pyschiatrist and/or counselor? I'm so desperate for help right now (depression is bad enough where I wish I were dead, but I'm not to point where I can bring myself to harm myself), I'm looking at every aspect of my treatment trying hard to do the right thing.....

There really isn't any criteria for who is a good therapist. It's similar to feeling love: After a while, you just feel it and you just know it. So I'd say that after about 8-10 visits of seeing your psychologist, if you aren't starting to feel a connection, then something isn't working. Therapy is all about the relationship between you and your therapist; if it's a crappy relationship, then healing will be very slow. If it's a good relationship (one where you can openly show emotion and trust), then healing will be quicker.

Hi Steveareeno and to DF!
I think that you're off on the right foot to question how to choose a good psychiatrist and therapist. Unfortunately, there isn't a cookie-cutter recipe for finding that. The answer is personal, depending on your needs, as well as their skills. To begin with, I think that a psychiatrist needs to be knowledgeable about medications. Some people rely on them to decide on medications and how to take them. Others want input in that decision. For some situations, a psychiatrist who is a good diagnostician is important. If you feel that you have been diagnosed correctly, that wouldn't be important. How easily you can reach the person or make an appointment are less important but might be a consideration.
I think that selection of a therapist is far less clear. There are different types of therapy and different approaches. Personality is a factor -- you need to find one whom you feel comfortable talking to. In one of the subforums there is a thread about bad experiences with therapists (falling asleep, taking outside calls, dismissive of problems, etc.). As with good points, some of the negative comments would probably be more important than others to you (or me). There are absolutely some behaviors that are not acceptable to me and others that may be somewhat annoying but not deal breakers. I had one once who would talk a little too much but she was so great in other ways that I overlooked the annoyance. Religion might be an issue. I personally don't want a therapist telling me to pray about it, but know someone looking for a "Christian" therapist (meaning wanting the religious perspective).
You might want to look at the types of therapy -- many therapists now use Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. Dialectical is another type that is used today. Cognitive or Behavioral Therapy are also practiced separately. Look over each type and which time "feels" right to you. Do you think you need to change how you "think" about things, how you behave or both. With anxiety issues also, CBT or DBT (Dialectical) would probably be better.
Another consideration might be how comfortable you are with setting goals or having no goals (other than improvement), following a pattern (such as inner child work) or dealing with issues as they arise.
I personally think that finding the right fit for you is paramount. I like getting recommendations. They often are "right on", but what may work for one person, may not be best for me.
Iowa

hi steve,
i think that iowa has pointed out all of what anybody could suggest on finding the right pdoc for yourself and has said you are on the right track in asking the questions of finding one. the most important thing is that you feel comfortable with a pdoc/therapist and if you are not comfortable with them maybe trying another would be best. asking your pdoc for a referral may also be a good idea.
let us know how things go for you.