Hi everyone. My names Jenn. I go to school in Florida. I've been dealing with depression with most of my life. My father abused me when I was seven, leading to a very messy court case, restraining orders, you name it. I haven't seen him since then. I'm 21 years old now. I have had a couple of episodes in my life.

My most recent started in the Spring 2008. I really had no reason to start this one. I'm very involved on campus, I had many people who I liked to call my friends. I"m in student government, a sorority, and 2 other clubs.
In the Spring 2008 I started being very moody, crying a lot, lashing out to all of my friends. I remember getting upset at the stupidest things, liek not being informed about a beach trip, that basically turned into a crying attack with me locking myself in the library not answering any calls. After that, my cousin suggested I see one of the school conselors. I started in March 2008. I saw her weekly at first. I also started seeing a psychologist, because after 2months of talk therapy, i wasn't getting any better. I was put on Zoloft, and at this point I'm at 150mg. By October I was on case management, only coming in every couple of weeks.
March however started a cycle again. I'm back to weekly sessions and I don't feel like I"m progressing anywhere. I'm very unhappy with everything in my life. I don't call my friends anymore. The worst part is they don't call either. I feel very alone. My family is many hours away.

I've been thinking quite a lot about ******* myself lately. DON"T WORRY I WILL NOT DO IT. I have to put an extreme bold on that. I know I won't committee suicide. I just thnk about it a lot. And I just wnat to stop hurting. I want thse negative thoughts to stop. I want to be satisfied with my grades, with my work, with my friends, with my (lack of) romantic relationships. This is why I"m thinking about ******* myself so much lately. again, I WILL NOT ACT ON THIS. I couldn't do it mostly because of my 11 year old sister. I know taht would devistate her so much.
I just won't want to hurt anymore.

So, there's a bit of my story.