New guy background:
I was diagnosed about 10 years ago with bi-polar and I take Celexa, Depakote, and Wellbutrin. Mostly I had the depression end of it, but by the time I crashed there were some short periods of wicked mania amid the deepest levels of depression. I've had, although not diagnosed until I was 30, bi-polar since I was a teenager - I'm 41 now. I'm married - 21 years. My wife owns her own business and I work for her. I am an ex-graphic artist/ abstract artist, and now am doing the internet side of the business and generally all sorts of other things. I still have a minor bit of downs and ups here and there, but for the most part its quite managed. Like I said, having known nothing but depression for all of my remembered life, a little is much better than crashing or swinging upwards.

The issue:
My anger, angst and frustration package. I've always had a bit of a temper, yet I've learned to swallow it and to cope with it. However I do have a short fuse at times and am known to blow a gasket. I don't direct it at anyone, just inanimate objects or myself. It's mainly cursing, throwing things, yelling, etc. All the things which makes one rather fun to be with. This was the root of the reason I lost my last job. Although in the end this was a good thing. It's really good that I'm a loner...

Lately, my anger has been getting worse. I've, for the most part, kept it contained except for a few outbursts. I think part of it is intertwined with some mania as there is some problems with focusing and concentrating. It isn't getting any better or subsiding. I have gotten into listening to Thrash or Heavy Metal music, which seems to run about the same velocity and RPM as the energy in my brain so it is calming (kinda like two negatives makes a positive). I can feel my heart racing, my hands shaking, and I have a strong (almost compulsive) desire to destroy inanimate objects with my bare hands. Despite me trying to mask it, enough of the negativity is coming out to make things really difficult on my wife (which is also making things hard on me). A good dose of self medication via alcoholic beverages helps to calm the savage beast, yet this isn't an option for working or being out in the public.

I quite smoking a month ago without any problems or desire to return to the habit. I take Advil for my back, but my doctor doesn't see a problem with it. So, should I see if the meds are being less effective, or should I see about taking something else? Oh yeah, there's the caffeine - I do take a bit of it especially since I do work a lot, and I seem to try to juggle everything by working more, sleeping less, and getting to work earlier. And I do tend to stress a lot (or is this a by-product of the situation?)

Does anyone have any suggestions?

Welcome to DF, Beserker13,

I wasn't diagnosed BP until I was 36, I'm 60 now. I always wondered what was happening to my moods.

I don't get angry very often, but there is always a reason for it. I don't know about some meds causing ager problems. Ask your pdoc about the anger for feedback and guidance. Have you thought about taking an Anger Management course?
Sheepwoman

Hey hon! sheepwoman is right i would try some anger management classes or some kind of counseling, i know some that has anger issues also n he went through some counseling for it n it worked so it wouldnt hurt to try that. Good Luck!!! let us know how ur doin

Thanks everyone! I'm glad I stumbled across this forum.

Hi Berserker,
Love the name.

I'm Bipolar and I've often said I feel cheated because I have never really experienced those delirious, euphoric highs that everyone talks about (and seem to enjoy!). Typically my mania manifests itself as anger. When it hits, there does not have to be a precipitating event. I can all of a sudden start thinking real intensely about a situation where somebody wronged me 15 years ago and become furious about it. I know that this is irrational but telling myself that does no good. I think your anger could very well be manic anger like mine. How long have you been on the Depakote? Have you had any dosage increases? You may simply have grown a tolerance to it and need it increased. The quitting smoking and the high doses of caffiene should not be underestimated as factors either. I have joked with a friend of mine who wants to quit smoking to please warn, so I can stay clear of her.

Thanks... Yeah quitting smoking wasn't as bad as I thought as I was just tired of it. Of course I did quit smoking a dozen times in the past few years. I can handle the depression end of this better than the upward end. For ages I never really had the full blown manic side until everything crashed. I wanted the entense energy and lack of sleep of the mania, but that never did pan out well.

I finially went to the doc to see about adjusting the meds. To be honest I am more scared about messing with the meds and reverting back to post-med period than anything. According to my wife tho' it was time to see the doc. So much for keeping it to myself.

Wow, what a perfect description of the anger issues I have! It is perfect, and yes, even down to the music! (Metallica and Kid Rock?)

I think that maybe you need to speak to your doc - sometimes we need a "tweek" in our meds, maybe just a dosage change.

However, I remember when I quit smoking, the extreme anger issues related to quit started about a month after the quit and continued for several months. Your whole last paragraph is a perfect description of my quit as well. With that in mind, I would really, really, suggest that your doc gives you something to calm you down to see you through for a few months.

The other thing that also really brought me relief was very strenuous exercise, where I could work out the frustration and anger. I went for swimming where I could really pound the water with all might. Unfortunately due to Effexor I gained so much weight during winter that I now first have to diet before I can get back in to a costume again!

I hope this helps?