Hi there, I was wondering if anyone out there who knows about depression (sufferers, ex-sufferers or health care workers) can give me some advice about my younger brother.

Over the past 18 months he has basically shut himself off from the world. Now all he does is sit in his room and play computer games for the whole day, every day. He dropped out of high school last year, saying his teachers were bullying him (which I can believe) but my mother managed to get him going to a different high school. Now he hasn't gone for 6 weeks. I organised him a job with a place that takes care of pets when their owners go away, I thought it would be perfect for him (he loves animals and the place was down the street from his house) but he only went for a few days and then stopped coming, saying he'd rather spend the time playing computer games.

My mom took him to the doctor, and he was diagnosed with depression. The doctor prescribed some anti-depressants, but they haven't had any effect and he's been getting worse. I don't live anywhere near the family home anymore, but I've seen and heard enough to worry me.

A bit of background on the family... My father drinks heavily, but still manages to hold down a high paying job. But at home he often behaves violently after he's been drinking. When I was 4 years old, I can remember him getting drunk and sexually abusing me several times, this stopped when I entered school. My mother knew all about it, but acted like nothing was going on. I never spoke to my brother about it, but I'm worried that my father might have done the same thing to him.

When I was his age, I coped by getting out of the house as much as possible, e.g. studying at school, doing sports, having a job and a social life, so I wouldn't need to be around the house. When I graduated from college, I took a job overseas, ostensibly for the salary but really to get as far away from my father as possible. My brother seems to be doing the exact opposite.

I know nothing about depression, I don't know what causes it or what stops it. What can I or my brother do to stop the problem (I have no confidence in my parents) and what is the prognosis for a case like this?

Thanks

Concerned Brother

I'm not a health care worker, just somebody who suffers from depression. It's great that your brother went to the Dr to get diagnosed, but I'm just wondering whether he was forced to, and if he was, whether he's actually taking the anti-depressants (AD) he was prescribed? If he was forced to seek treatment, there's a good chance he's not taking his medication. Also, it can take up to 8 weeks for the ADs to fully kick in... if he's not experiencing any benefit, then he may need an increased dosage or another AD. (It can be trial and error finding the right AD and the right dosage!)

Depression can be a complex thing, and sometimes finding the best AD is just as complex! While your brother continues to sit in front of his computer all day, he is likely to still suffer depression. Usually to manage depression, you need to do a multiple of things which differs from person to person. Therapy and exercise are things that I find beneficial.

You need to confront your brother with your sexual abuse: he may feel he was the only one or he may feel guilty because he didn't stop the abuse you suffered therefore precipitating his depression.

Could he be on 'drugs'? Shutting himself away is a sign of many things including depressive illness. Or he may be afraid that he will hit your father the next time he is home?

What ever - you can only offer your support. Only your brother can decide whether to take the medication. Maybe your mum should arrange the doctor to make a house-call?

Perhaps your brother would benefit from seeing a psychiatrist? It sounds like he may have some social anxiety. I am by no means a doctor but I can totaly relate to your brother. When I was in high school all I did was play a video game called Everquest, and now I find myself steeling away from society to play a game called World of Warcraft. These games are an easy escape from reality, but when used to often they can actualy be a big stimulator for depression. I would sit down with your brother and ask him if he is taking his medication, because as it was said above he probly isnt. It sounds like to me your brother could really use somone to talk to. I hope things get better, I know how hard being a teen with depression can be.


Keep us updated.



Not alone, never alone!


IowaGuy

Thanks for the advice everyone

He`s been on antidepressants for about 6 months now and the doctor increased the dosage about two months ago. He was under a bit of pressure from my mom to go to the doctor, but it hadn`t occurred to me that he might not be taking his medication. Is this common in people with depression?

I`m pretty positive he`s not doing drugs (e.g. meth, crack, heroin etc.). He refuses to even touch alcohol and he doesn`t leave the house so there`s no way he could buy them.

On the topic of the abuse, he`s younger than me so he couldn`t have stopped it. I`ve hesitated to tell him about it because if he wasn`t, then finding out about me could make things worse for him.

Any other comments are more than welcome

I'm not sure whether or not it is "common", but it's certainly a possibility especially if he's not ready to take action to get his depression under control.

I agree with Liz that I think you should talk to your brother about the sexual abuse you suffered. There's a good chance that he has also experienced this, and perhaps could be one of the factors causing his depression.