I thought I was the only person who thought like this. I felt like a complete idiot. There is the super long bridge that we have to cross when we go to the lake and I panic every time I see it or even know that we are having to go over it. It got so bad to where I would make sure that my window was cracked "just in case" the bridge collapsed, so I would have easy access to get out. It has gotten better over time, but that feeling is always there.

Its good to know that there are others out there who are going through similar situations. I just feel so different from everyone else, if that makes any sense.

This post has been edited by Tubby9: May 5 2009, 07:58 AM

hey tubby9,
i think one of the major things depession and anxiety do is make us feel like we are isolated and different from everyon else. i know i still feel that way sometimes. that's the great thing about DF, that we can meet others who share our feelings and realize that we're not alone in our struggles.

I was reading one of your old posts and saw where you were taking a beta blocker for anxiety/panic? Are you still taking it or did it eventually quit? I have taken just about every medication and my current med (prozac) has quit after 5 years. I have suffered from severe panic, anxiety, OCD, ODC, and mild depression for over 16 years. My OCD has kind of taken over and I have begun to research every med out there that I haven't tried yet. My doc says for me to just tell him whatever I would like to try and he'll write the script..................problem is I can't stop obsessing on what to do. Any thoughts?

Hi Nursemom

I was on a beta blocker for a while, but not for anxiety. I had very little side effects, all it did was make me very relaxed and calm. I found that nothing bothered me or stressed me out on them. With me as well, I had no start up side effects and no withdrawel side effects and they worked pretty fast, maybe ask your doc about them. I was Inderal (propernal). I was prescribed it for a high pulse rate, related to an overactive thyroid and I could not sit still.

Trace

Hi, I'm new to the forum, but have battled anxiety for the past 10 years. Although things in my life a going very well and I'm more settled than I've ever been, I'm experiencing pretty severe anxiety and insomnia. This week when I visited my doctor, she placed me on Remeron...I've anxious about taking it although it helped me sleep. Does EVERYONE gain weigt on this med? I don't want to take it if I'm going to gain a lot of weight because I have a history of an eating disorder as well. I won't be able to see a psychiatrist until July? Any feedback would be much appreciated.

Hi Aggiegirl

Sorry that you've been battling anxiety for 10 years. That must have really taken it out of you. Have you tried visiting the Remeron forum? You'll find lots of information about the drug there and get answers from other users.
You may want to have a read of the Eating Disorders forum too.

PRT xx

Hey there. I'm also new here and, like you, have battled for years all the while thinking that everyone struggled all the time as I do. Until eventually I realised that aggression and panic and irritability were seriously affecting my relationships with everyone around me. I have been on paroxetine for about 8 months now and use a fast acting "tranquiliser" if it's a bad day. Not everyone struggles with weight, but mine did affect my appetite and I lost weight in the beginning. The important thing is to realise that whatever the effects are they will stabilise once your body becomes used to the medication.
If it's helping with everything else it's a good thing so stick with it and just be aware of the possible effects - and ask for help from those you can trust, my daily life has improved but I still struggle with insomnia which is horrible.
all the best xx

I have yet to be formally diagnosed with GAD, but I believe this is because when I was seeing my psychiatrist, depression was THE major concern (I had attempted suicide). Now, five years later, I am much less depressed after recently coming to terms with some aspects of my life. That being said, I have been having anxiety attacks for no reason. I am so nasty sometimes without provocation. I don't feel like myself. Often, I worry about things far in the future and completely out of my reach. Sometimes, I even worry about going home (which is a safe place). Everytime I get a phone call/text, even from my best friends, I assume they're mad at me. Getting through the day has gotten harder and harder.

This weekend, I hit what I am deciding is the peak. I couldn't even go to a party held by one of my closest friends because I was freaking out, but I didn't know why. It was embarrassing trying to explain to her that I'd actually been suffering from really bad anxiety most of the time she'd known me and that lately it had gotten out of control.


I'm not going to let this get me. I am transferring to a new college in the fall and I am nervous that my anxiety will affect making friends. I have bad trust issues (from a convicted con artist father) which I hope to work out in therapy so I doubt or simply cannot believe what people say to me, but generally, I just assume the worst. It's like I hear them being rational, I acknowledge that what they're saying is rational, but all I can do is keep thinking "yeah but..." Or, I just assume that most people hate me. Which isn't very fun... or valid.

My libido is gone. I have been with my boyfriend for over three years and never have I been so apathetic about sex. He is so good to me and he supports me and is understanding of what I've been going through (he's been with me through a lot of family stuff). He tells me he loves me, but I am afraid that he'll leave because of this (even if he promises he won't). I am sick of the doubting and the fear, so starting tomorrow I am calling a new therapist and possibly psychiatrist that can take my insurance and getting course started. I have had the same psychiatrist for over five years (didn't have insurance when I started seeing her) and I am so comfortable with her, but I can't even afford a 30 minute session anymore.

I have been off and on Wellbutrin XL (sometimes with Zoloft or Cymbalta) for about five years and I loved it, but toward the end, it really ceased to work. I could feel it drop off, even if I wasn't feeling low to begin with. I have been doing research on GAD treatments, but I'm worried about going on another set of drugs. I'm a psych major, which probably makes this worse... because I have had such biased professors (part of the reason why I am transferring) who look down upon using prescriptions. I am so passionate about my major and my future, and I really don't want to let this get in the way of my life any longer. So I'm here... and I'm hoping to be on a path to a better, more sane me.

Every once in a while a feeling of worry will come over me. I have a gut feeling tyhat something bad is about to occur. It's completely out of the blue.

Does anyone here also experience mood swings? I had a day of mood swings which resulted in me asking my mother to go home from her visit to my house. I wanted to be alone. After thought, I may have injured her feelings which in turn causes extreme guilt. I realized I have alienated and isolated myself from a good number of friends for fear of embarrassment. I feel they wouldn't understand me. I believe it's mild mental illness and it hard just for me to wrap my own mind around it so how can I explain it to them? I don't want people thinking I'm crazy.

I feel you Dario. Fear of HIV is a big one. I haven't been worried about it lately because I am not sexually active but that was a big one for me. This past April, I conjured up lung cancer. The internet is so dangerous for me. It turns out I only have asthma. I had myself shopping for wigs for chemo therapy. This is sad. I have worried about money too. when I drive on the highway, I'm always hoping the axle on my car doesn't break because that will cost me a lot of money. Why would I be worried about my axle? I have no idea. There's nothing wrong with my car that I can tell.

Hey everyone,
In two hours I will attend my first ever therapy group for anxiety and mood disorders. I'm freaking out....why am I freaking out??? I get so angry with myself that I can't do the simplest tasks sometimes because of the noise in my head and the freak-out feeling in my gut. Sometimes I wish I could just rip off my skin and jump right out of this body. So I have to drive someplace and walk into a room and sit down, why do I feel like I'm going to my own be-heading??

I so wish I could just get up and go without needing hours of "convincing" myself. It's a beautiful day and I live in a beautiful city, why can't I just enjoy the drive and then maybe meeting a group of people that are going through the same things I am.

I feel so sad today....sad and so very tired of this journey

Dear Visions,
You're not crazy, not even close, I know exactly how you feel. My family, although loving and supportive, used to hurt me by saying I was "anti-social" and that I must not love them because I was always on my own. When I lived at home, they used to call my room "the apartment" because I spent a lot of time in there. It wasn't that I didn't love them, it's just that when you're feeling like jumping out of your skin, crying your eyes out or the negative thoughts and worries in your head are too much and there's no possible way to explain it to yourself - let alone anyone else, it's so hard to make small talk and enjoy being around people, even family.

I understand your worries about people not understanding...many don't. They think we can just "will" ourselves better or that we shouldn't be complaining because we may be so much luckier than someone suffering a physical illness. That's why this forum is so great, you get to realize that you're not alone.

You should get some reading material on your illness and share it with your family...explain to them that this is the reason you isolate yourself, not because you don't want to be with them. My circle of friends and family has become very small because I try to surround myself with positive, loving people. Those who really love you will support you even if they don't understand. My mom honestly tells me she doesn't understand but will be there for me no matter what.

Your post really touched me and I wanted to send you some positive vibes :-)

Hi Winter,

It is a scary thing I think so don't beat yourself up for being a bit worried. I'd be exactly the same. I think you'll probably really like it and find it helpful but it;s scary going to meet strangers to talk about stuff like this. Good luck. Hope it goes well

PRT xx

Thanks PRT :)
You were right, I did really like it and the people were amazing. It really touched me how people dealing with their own pain reached out to offer comfort to others. For the first time in a very long time, I didn't feel alone!

We cried but we also had such good laughs. I'm definitely going back next week.

I worry about EVERYTHING. Im not overexagerating..im being serious. I have GAD. im on meds for it. And its not doing much...i also have mdd, and adhd, and mood swings. so i take 6 different meds. I see a therapist. I do everything in my power to stop. but i cant, im in my senior year of high school, and im worried i wont graduate, i wont be alive tommorrow, i'll get sick, the cruise i go on in june someone in my family will be hurt or killed, I wont have anyone in class to be partners with on assignments..i wont be able to function in college and will have to be on disability. I worry about leaving my house. i worry about heaven and hell, i worry about the beliefs, i worry my christian school will kick me out because last year when i was hospitalized for attempted suicide..they told me i need to get better or there will be liability issues.. my parents blame me for everything. I si.. i worry they will find out or see the marks. I worry that life isnt real..i worry if im really alive.

RE: Dreamland

Hey there,

From what I'm reading, you are definately alive! All those feelings you're feeling are real... channeling the energy towards another direction is whats needed, and its easier said than done, but I am confident that you will make it. Listen to your spirit, and dont let your ego tell you that you cant do it. You have a lot going for yourself, I too felt like that back in highschool, but things will change, and sometimes they dont, but you will end up finding the core to the actual problem, and eventually laugh about it in the end...

johnnn

I have GAD and I am anxious about everything too. I can't seem to stop the darn thoughts. I am trying breathing exercises but that only helps so much because my nerves are making me restless and I can't sit still. I am even too anxious to go outside or call a friend right now. It just sucks

what is this? I can't tell you how bad I feel. I can't relax my shoulders and they are so tence they hurt. I caa't stop moving my shoulders and my neck in a weird way to relieve the tention almost like a tick. I can't catch my breathe and keep gulping air. I know I am ocd about the kitchen or the cupboards being out of order. I slowly tapered off celexa over 8 weeks ago. So what is this? OCD? Anxiety? SSRI withdrawal? I am using benedryl to calm myself down. I'm pretty desparate. Please Please Please help me.

dror,

Sorry you are having such a rough time. Recently, when my anxiety resurfaced I had a constant feeling of needing to catch my breath, like you are experiencing.I don't know about it being ssri withdrawal. In my experience with tapering off Zoloft, the side effects were gone after 3-4 weeks, but maybe it takes longer for other meds?

dror,

Sorry you are having such a rough time. Recently, when my anxiety resurfaced I had a constant feeling of needing to catch my breath, like you are experiencing.I don't know about it being ssri withdrawal. In my experience with tapering off Zoloft, the side effects were gone after 3-4 weeks, but maybe it takes longer for other meds?
[/quote]

I am beginning to think its not SSRI withdrawal. What meds do you take to control your anxiety?

I have recently restarted Zoloft (2 weeks ago) and am still waiting for things to start getting better. Zoloft worked well for me for 4 years, so I'm hoping it will have the same effect again.

why did you stop Zoloft?

Those are the feelings I get when my anxiety starts to take control. Sounds like it could possibly be something like that. It's kind of like tension is taking over the upper half of your body and no matter what you do you can't get rid of it. Hope this gives you a general idea. I'm also very much ocd when my panic and anxiety starts taking over.

I first started taking it during a really difficult time, and after several years things were going well and I wanted to try to deal with things without medication.

Oh man just not a good day. Very on edge. Have GAD and can't seem to stop worrying about one thing after another. I have no coping skills as of yet but start seeing a doc for some next week. I hope he can give me some good ideals on how to stop the worry. I worry about everything from money, family, health just about everything under the sun. I worry about getting old and my kids getting old I just try to plan the furture and I think it causes more problems than good.

It's good that you decided to see a doctor. I understand, I too worry about everything. If I don't have anything in particular that I need to worry about, my mind will invent new ridiculous worries...as if it can't bear to be worry-free for any amount of time.

I also have GAD and it's very hard to play the waiting game to get better... You have to wait to see the doctor, wait for the meds to start working, wait to talk to the therapist... I'm currently feeling a little hopeless. This is week 3 of severe, SEVERE symptoms like I've never experienced, although I've been diagnosed for years. I just want to be happy again.

I have GAD diagnosed 4 months ago....I'm 22 and have a lot of random strange anxiety that I never understood.

I did individual psychotherapy for about two months and Celexa (citopram generic one) for about 4 months. I'm celebrating day 5 of being off it entirely today. I slowly weaned myself off it and although I have had a few bad nightmares I've been ok.

[ Greetings. fellow GAD'er here, although considerably older than you (49) . Greg

Thanks hon. Everyone's very supportive here which is great.

I am waiting for my diagnose, I will be seeing my therapist in 2 weeks. I'm pretty certain I suffer from GAD, have anger issues, mood swings, and codependance issues. I can't believe how much I've learned on these forums. I always thought everyone was like me, when I started on my meds I realized that it is possible to be happy most of the time and not freak out about the smallest things. But then I was worried about how messed up I am and the impact its having on my little boy and how much I'm going to mess him up. I am really glad I am not the only one going through these things.

Hi this is my second post here. I have suffered from GAD for a good few years now. I found different ways to deal with it which helped me end up having a good long year last year (08) without much incidence and almost no medication (that just sounded like an ad :P). This year things turned and with much effort I tried to stay off medication (against my GP's recommendations) and so far have managed.

Today, however, I had what might as well been a nervous breakdown and couldn't go to work - the last time I had anything close to this was when I first started depression a few years ago.

I have long been deciding about leaving my current work, as that has been a contributing factor to my anxiety attacks. My wife has known about me considering leaving my job and has given me her 110% support to do so. In fact, I got orders from her to not worry about finding a job for the next couple of weeks so that I can refocus on my life and especially me.

I will be handing in my resignation tomorrow. I have to say I'm a nervous wreck right now but I know I have to do this. I have to do it for my own sanity's sake.

What's really s***ty... I work with friends. The owner of the company is a friend of mine too. They have known me prior to our endeavor and have supported me during my lows. However, this friendship has made my experience at that company not so pleasant as I feel abused due to my GAD. Which I can't accept as fair anymore.

All I hope for that I pull it off and stand strong through it and not have an attack.

I have GAD and depression. I'm not on meds at this stage - I have been trying CBT, however, they have just cut my hours at work and I now cant afford to go to my psychiatrist anymore. I've been doing ok by myself - I want to learn how to deal with it myself but there are still a few things I'm having trouble with.

Does anyone find that GAD affects driving a car? I got my licence four years ago and I was terrified from the first time I sat in the drivers seat. Throughout all my lessons etc I didn't get confident like everyone told me I would. My parents also forced me to drive a manual car which made it worse - I had too much to concentrate on (gears etc) and I got even more anxious. Now I have switched to an automatic and it is a little better. However, I am too anxious and afraid to drive anywhere apart from about five minutes down the road by myself. Every time I try something goes wrong - someone else acts like an ***** and scares me and I don't know how to deal with the situation and I take 100 steps back again. I only just bought a car and have hardly driven it because of this. I get anxious even thinking about driving.

My parents keep trying to force me to drive, but I am convinced that they contributed to the problem in the first place. When I was learning we couldn't afford to pay for more than one lesson a week so the rest of the time I practiced with my parents. Every single time I made a small mistake they used to scream at me, scaring me even more and often reducing me to tears. It got to the stage, about three years ago, where I basically stopped driving all togther because I couldn't take it anymore. However, I think that because my parents screamed at me every time I made a miniscule little mistake my brain must have thought that whatever I did was really dangerous and triggered a 'fight or flight' response and therefore thought that driving was a dangerous activity.

I just don't know what to do now. My parents are pushing me extremely hard to drive all over the place by myself, and they are not very easy to talk to. If I try and explain that I need time and to not be pushed they say I'm being pathetic. (Lets just say we don't get along, and that 'you are being pathetic' is my mum's favourite response to me).

I want to learn to drive but I just can't - the anxiety takes over and I freak out. I also have a major fear of parking - I can't park anywhere that I have to park next to anyone, or drive right next to another car in order to get into a spot. For some reason, even though i have this fear I am getting frustrated because that means I can't drive anywhere and park and go shopping or whatever. Yet if I try and do it anyway I just completely freak out.

Right now I feel like I fail at everything that I try to do in life, and I would like to think that driving might be one thing that I am able to succeed at - I need a few successes right now, I don't have many of them. I just don't know how to get there. When I'm driving with someone else I am usually fine - I had a referesher driving lesson a few weeks ago and the instructor didn't understand why I wanted lessons because she thought I was fine. It's when I'm by myself that I have problems. Any ideas?

I totally understand what you are going through. In the beginning when I was diagnosed from severe depression to GAD no one around me understood what it meant and what this illness was doing to me from their own basic actions.

One thing I want to tell you and I always tell it to anyone going through an anxiety disorder is that - You are NOT crazy! You have NOTHING to fear. You have to not only acknowledge those facts but as well believe it. Look yourself in the mirror every morning and say these following words: I'm not crazy and I have nothing to fear. Today is going to be a good day - and say it with a smile :)

I know it sounds cheesy but it does help a little bit. I'm afraid there's no magic bullet for this. If you have the strength within you - you may be able to get through it yourself - but when you can afford to update your Psychiatrist or GP (if they're friendly enough to talk to). That's what I do and it helped so far.

After all this I have to ask though... did it maybe occur to you that you are a good driver by now and your parents see that and pushing for you own good? I know their way looks nasty but maybe that's their way of dealing with your condition? If you think it's not and it's just the way they are then I would advise to not let their words effect and try talking to them if it's getting too much.

To answer a previous question about if it effects driving... In my case it either happens before or after I drive. Sometimes when I literally park. But I have to say it depends on the individual and furthermore don't focus your thoughts on it (in other words - don't worry. You will be fine.) Think of it this way... The worst that could happen is that you will pull over when you feel it coming. Nothing more. You still have that much control.

I have really bad anxiety as well. But what I hate most about it, especially when it's really severe is how crippling it feels. Like there's not escape and you're trapped because it won't go away. The reason I say it's crippling is because it makes me avoid a lot of social things but I can't help it.