Just some quick background......36/m with a loving wife and two precious little girls. Climbing the corporate ladder and have always been know as the guy to go to if you wanted something done. Currently a manager for a Fortune 50 company. Grew up with a somewhat sheltered childhood. First day in high school and was around a bunch of rich kids for the first time in my life. Realized then that I wanted the nicer things in life. Followed them around through high school, was accepted to a good 4 yr college and essentially didn't show up for my classes (ok, I went to two classes - the 1st and 2nd, literally). Left that school and then skipped around a community college for about a year with no solid results. Met a guy one day who would go on to become my boss at my first sales job. I have been in sales ever since and people are baffled to this day that I do not have a degree. Really turned my life around from what it could have been.

Fast forward to 2007. I have gone back to college to get my Bachelor's degree.

I find myself CONSTANTLY worrying about layoffs (was part of the dot com bust - 2 times) and CONSTANTLY thinking about everything under the sun. It's the worst when I get into bed or when I wake up in the middle of the night (almost impossible to go back to sleep since I immediately begin thinking about the next day/week/month). I also pick the skin around my fingernails/cuticles non-stop, to the point that they bleed sometimes. Just Saturday, we drove home from the in-laws for Thanksgiving and almost the entire 3 hr drive home was spent picking my fingers and driving with my knee (I know). I also like to shop but mainly for the thrill of spending money. 90% of the time I will return what I buy unless it is specifically for a hobby (photography or golf). I have to have the best of almost everything I buy. Plenty of basic lenses in the world yet I have to buy the best ones at each range. I have a car passion that leads me to spend money to get out of leases only to turn around and get into another one (just got a 2008 BMW). I am so anal about the cleanliness that if I spend all day cleaning the car and then take it out and see smudges in the glass, I will pull over and clean the windows until I feel like they are clean.

Sitting at a desk or in my office, my right leg constantly shakes. I'm sure there is more that I am forgetting but these are the concerning things for now. Overall, I am happy with my life. Love my wife and kids, both sides of my family are great, my job is going well (I am less motivated since I began taking Zoloft) and I am making excellent money (only debt is our house w/great equity, 2k on a credit card and one car payment). Income well above what most would even consider upper class.

I am posting here because I just want to be able to focus. I want to be able to read a book and actually pay attention to the material (more importantly, to comprehend and retain the material). I want to be able to get to sleep at night without sleeping pills.

I went to my family dr. about 5-6 weeks ago and told him that I couldn't get decent sleep. He dug into it more and determined that my mind was racing. Put me on Lexapro. I could only go for 5 days before the side effects got the most of me. Switched to Zoloft on 10/15/07 (25mg). Went to a psychiatrist on 11/15 who suggested I bump it up to 75mg in a few days and then to 100mg a few days later. I haven't made it to the 100mg stage yet. He said I have "compulsive personality traits" and left it at that. I do go back to see him this Thursday.

The Zoloft has made my jaws tight, my head ache and my mood to be more subdued (I'm not the uppity person that people knew before). I do see a difference in the way I speak. It's as if I am able to better think about what I am going to say before saying it. I am still picking my fingers like mad and have had a difficult time being motivated as well as motivating the people that work for me.

What should I do? Did I expect Zoloft to "cure" it all and it just isn't living up to my expectations?