(((((((r2mnot)))))))

I'm so sorry to hear about your fathers death!!. I have not been in for some days, so I havn't known it before. Take your time with the grief and know that we are thinking at you!!!!

................................................................................
...

Dear (((((((all)))))))!!

I need your encouragement very much!! This week will be a very important week where I will need all my concetration. Unfortantly I met a person yesterday that made me feel totaly down. I have felt like I should be blown up from the inside (terrible feeling as a lot of frozen energy suddenly pups up, ready to break you down). I have been crying and my muscles are shivering. I have taken some relaxing medication and hope to get the control bak. I think I was hit in a deep inner place ..... Please have me in your thoughts.

Thanks!

Greetings to all!

r2, I have heard of Flylady, it seems to help a lot of people.

Sheepwoman, did you get all of that done?

It is good to see you Helen and I am sorry that you felt so down

Welcome WaxWane

Neo

Rosegirl, you know we are here to support you, you really sound like you are in a bad way at the moment. I'm sending you strength, so that you can find yours.

Trace

Thanks Trace! I'm sleeping and crying, have to force myself to eat a bit. I think I met "a trigger" I wan't prepared for that suddely triggerd a lot of different old stuff.

Feeling crap today so going to try and chill out at the drop in centre for AS/HFA adults where I live and hopefully talk to a member of staff there.
I am having to force myself to eat so not doing so good.
I want a high even though I know it'll only last for a couple of hours...

Hello all .I am new to this thread.Just wanted to drop in and say Hello.I am currently trying to wean myself from Seroquel.Not really sure if that is a good choice or not.Since dropping from 300mg to 100mg,I feel strange.Friday,my first day since the decrease,my memory is shot,having strange thoughts,not sure if it's hallucinations or a dream from the night before,Saturday,VERY irritable and strange dreams,and still the same.Doc has me on Lunesta 3mg and 100mg Seroquel at bedtime.My dreams stopped when I started Seroquel,but now that I'm decreasing dosage,they are coming back.Great.Maybe things will get better,I hope.

Hi all!

HelenLlama, sorry to hear that you are not feeling well. Hope it will be better soon!!.

Starfish139 I hope that you have consulted your doctor before you started the reduction of Serequel. It can be dangerous to quit meds without the doctor's permission.

My last post: A letter in a word has fallen out. The full sentence should be: I think I met "a trigger" I wasn't prepared for that suddely triggerd a lot of different old stuff.

I'm starting to feel better, but understand that this is the time when I have to take good care of myself. To stay in bed and let the body relax is the best thing I can do for myself at the moment. I feel as if I have been run over by a truck.

Usually I try to be prepared to meet triggers and try to avoid to let them knock me down. This one came so suddenly and totally unexpected, that it was impossible to "run out of it's way". Luckily, I'm usually relatively good at introspection. That has helped me this time too. I have understood why the short meeting with that person triggered a lot of old stuff from different layers inside me. To understand is to have an opertunity to repair things inside and to decide for future regarding the same things. To sum it up: It was hard to be hit by "the truck" but I'm not a person that let myself be knocked out if its possible to see a way to walk on.

Send my best wishes to everybody:

Rosegirl

Same to you Trace

Hi Starfish. Seroquel is a strange drug. I was up to 300mgs and tapered down to 100/150mgs, though not quite as fast as you. I now take it mostly so I can get a better nights sleep and it does help to keep some thoughts at bay.
It made my brain feel like sludge, and not care about anything at 300mgs..It did help me to get out of a month long mixed episode.
Lamictal makes my dreams more vivid, and sero for me never stopped them. I was having a lot of trouble thinking my dreams were really happening. Amoung other things, I once dreamt I went out an bought milk only to find out in the morning I didn't. I was 100% positive I did. It was so detailed, it was scary!

Glad you feeling better today Rosegirl. I admire your strength. And yes, sometimes sleep is what we need. My Doc will actually encourage me to sleep when I need it. He says it's not lazy, which of course is the way I interpret it, it's well needed rest..

Yes,those are the type dreams I'm having again.The Seroquel stopped all of those,but I am trying to come off of it because of the weight gain.The Doc is the one who told me to take both the Lunesta and Seroquel at night to help me wean.I don't like the Lunesta at all.It leaves an awful taste in my mouth and takes me forever to get to sleep.Next month I think he's going to change my other meds for my "attitude problem".I have such a bad temper and panic/anxiety on top of that.Either he'll change the Lithium or the Xanax,but he said that he didn't want to change too much at one time.From what I can tell right now,I'much happier emotionally with the Seroquel,not the weight gain.

(((((((((((((RG)))))))))))))) glad you are doing better.

Hi Starfish, I've never been on Seroquel. I have a BP friend on 2500mg of Seroquel. She doesn't like the weight gain but it's the only thing that helps with sleep and manic episodes. If you don't like weight gain, don't go on Zyprexa. It's notorious for it. Consider a mood stabilizer. I'm taking Lamictal and it has been the best med I've ever taken. Currently, Risperdol has stabilized the manic episodes and helps me with sleep. I've not gained weight from any of the meds in my current combo. The PNP said Lunesta is not strong enough as a sleep aid for me. I have 15-30mg Restoril for the bad nights. Have you tried Trazodone or Ambien for sleep?

We had a heat wave for several days. I loved that and the sunlight. It's now foggy, cold and dismal. The abrupt weather changes are normal for here. I'm almost through covering the garden area with compost. It needs to be covered with black plastic to **** the weeds and grass. I'll have to rent a rotortill unless I can get me neighbor to till and level the site. That will save me a lot of work. Can't wait to seed and put in starter plants. I can already taste the tomatoes and corn.

Murphy's doing better with the medications. He's perking up-moving about more, going outside and laying in the sun, starting to play with Dinky and being his lovable self.

SW

Hello ALL,

I am a new participant to the friends thread, so I thought I would share a current story in my life right now, and hopefully gain some insight.

I am very close friends with one of my coworkers, who knows I am BP, and her brother was recently admitted to the psych ward here in town. She asked my advice on multiple medications that they were giving him, and was explaining to me his mood. I was able to determine that he was BP just from what she was telling me. When he was released the doctor diagnosed him as BP, and now my friend (his sister) wants me to mentor and help him in his journey. I am not so sure that is possible. What do you all think? What or how should I go about doing this? He is 5 years younger than me, and I have just been diagnosed a year and a half ago myself, and am just now coming to grips with it. Just thought I would look for some feed back on what I should do..... thank you

skooter

Hi Neo, Starfish, Rosegirl, Helen, Sheepwoman and Welcome Scooter

Scooter, you have to be ok in yourself to mentor someone else. Maybe you could just share experiences with him at first, kind of like we do here.

Having an early winter here, its suddenly turned into winter overnight, so needless to say everyone is coming down with the flu. There is really weird stuff happening to the weather of late.

Trace

I am feeling ok in myself today... Sometimes I can see me in a childs swing where each swing is a whole day... and either ends of the arc are the bad stuff (manic and depressed)
I also saw my GP and got my new prescription for meds yay. We are doing things one med at a time and hopefully find an effective combo that is not leaving me feeling like well rubbish or bouncing off 4 walls.

Thats really good to read!!! Good on you

Thats what I had to do to..........................I started off with a couple of meds and then the doc added another one and it just messed with me. Then we started from scratch and just slowly added different meds and doses and then I find the stability I had been looking for........................it really made a difference for me and hope it does for you too!!!

HUGS
Isabeau

Hi Skooter, glad you joined the thread. As far as your friend, rather than mentor, let him ask you questions about your experience with Bipolar. Of course, encourage him to stay on his meds as you well know how important they are for stability. You can refer him here for support, too, and we may be able to answer some of his questions.

Trace, brrr "winter". The drastic weather change does cause people to come down with some illness. Do your daughters have the flu?

The fog is gone today. It was warm and sunny this morning and didn't need a coat while taking care of the horses. An icy wind came in a few hours ago-it's time for a heavy coat to go outside. Whacky weather! Staying in the house and not doing much. I should be cleaning. It's the furthest thing in my mind and have no desire to do it.

A nap sounds good at the moment since I've not had much sleep all this week. Oh well.
SW

Thanks everyone for your input, that makes a whole lot of sense. I have already recommended this forum. I know you all have been helpful to me, so I know you will help him out. Well, I guess I will talk to you all later. PEACE OUT!

Skooter

This post has been edited by Skooter27: Apr 24 2009, 06:53 PM

Sheepwoman, yes they have runny noses, but not much more than that...thank goodness.

Skooter its great that you have recommended DF, it can help him understand so much more.

It warmed up slightly again, but now we are having howling winds and a very odd storm last night. Lol, its not supposed to rain this time of the year.

Trace

Hello everyone

I've just recently been diagnosed being boardline bipolar along with my depression. I've read about bipolar and heard of bipolar but i just can't seem to get my head 'round the idea that I am boardline BP. I really would appreciate some feed back on your thoughts.
I'm wondering if I'm classified as BP because of:

I'm very suspicious of people and wonder if they are plotting something against me.
I can be happy go lucky when I'm with people but the minute I turn around I have this 'I don't give a ' attitude.
I'm calm cool collected when people beak off at me but when they *iss me off this full boil rage comes out.
I can become paranoid of people and instantly read their body langage, then i wonder if they like me or not.

Has anyone else felt this way? Any comments are greatly appreciated

Angel

This post has been edited by crystalangel: Apr 26 2009, 12:22 PM

Hi and Welcome Crystalangel

A diagnosis of Bipolar can be very hard to accept. Bipolar can be personally different for different people. It sounds like you do have mood swings, rage and paranioa can be common in Bipolar. We are not professionals though. Has the doc put you on any medication?

Trace

Hello all It's going to be pretty and warm where I'm at.I'm from Tennessee and the weather is unpredictable here.In the 80's most of the week.And with me running a tanning salon,nice weather has the customers coming in to get a start for summer.I did a stupid thing Saturday.Hubby and I went out and I had SEVERAL drinks.No meds that night,though.Only slept about 3 hours and woke up like I had some kind of energy rush.It lasted all day until I took a Xanax yesterday evening and then my half dose of Seroquel around 7-7:30.I take the Lunesta when it's close to time to go to bed.My memory is shot after the Xanax.Man I hate these meds.They work,but they also work against you.If it wasn't for me taking the meds,I would have been up all night again.Wide open.Well,hope everyone has a good day.

Hi Starfish

I think its great that the start of the summer is bringing lots of customers. There are pros and cons to meds. I would rather live with my meds and their side effects, than not have them. I get incredibly ill without them, so I live with the side effects. Meds can stay in your system for a while, so even though you did not take any when you drank, the alcohol could still have messed with the meds in your system. I hope you have a good day too.

Trace

I am going in to see my support keyworker soon.
I have to take a detour via the pet shop as I need litter pellets so I can clean my little guys out.
I have also spent the morning so far chasing Blaze (the eldest) around. He decided he would make a run for it.

The weather here is kind of awful. Not totally awful but not very nice either.
I s'ppose if I leave now I can have a good browse around.
Wanting to go to the art shop too, but not while Princes Street is closed, due to the tram works.

Hi Helen

Good luck with your support keyworker. I hope you enjoy having a look around as well and that the weather gets better for you soon.

Trace

It's been sunny here, but the cold wind takes away the heat. I don't like the latter at all. Makes me want to hibernate in the house (doing it now.) when I should be out working on my garden or other chores. Need to move the goslings out of the bathtub to larger quarters outdoors. I think about it but haven't done anything and they're getting messier every day. Also need to go to the feedstore and the market. Have put off going out. Plus I'm not sleeping well, which isn't helping me.
SW

Hi Trace and thank you for the welcome.
Yes my doctor has placed me on citalopram 20mg. It's been 3 weeks and i think she mentioned lithium for later. She would like to 'titrate' (lol i felt like i was in chemistry class again) the effexor im on now but she hasn't started yet.
Thank you for replying
CrystalAngel

I thought it was nicest earlier, but that what I get for living up 3 flights of stairs.
Turns out it was wet.
I never realised how heavy 15 litres of wood pellet cat litter can be.
I also bought some extra bits for the piggles. Litter tray/extra large hay rack if I can not litter train them. Some woodshavings for the litter tray, and a new chube (giant orange loo/kitchen roll but wider) for the older pair, who have chewed theirs to bits.
Anyway me and the older two (Blaze and Cinder now) have a vets appt at 9:30 to deal with parasitic problems. Seems my four have had them all in the last two weeks had some sort of parasite of cavy's and i may have had all three (running lice, hay mites aka static lice and mange mites) between 4 pigs.

Well the vets went well.
We got the mites in Blaze treated again (second treatment of two)
And cinder did have lice.
That makes it 3 cavy parasites involved with my four out of three possible cavy parasites. With five cases in four pigs

This post has been edited by HelenLlama: Apr 28 2009, 07:06 AM

Hi all!
Here we go again! There have been so many posts since my last post, so I just say a quick hello to all!

Those who read my former posts know that I tried and hoped to succed. I didn't. I will start to try to work myself out of it from here. I am tired of all this beginning and hoping and ........ Ohhhhhhhh, grrrrr Well it doesn't help to be angry at the situation, so I just have to walk , one step after the other, to still try to have a better life.

Send my best wishes to everybody!

Rosegirl

Crystal, I am glad that you have started treatment, it takes time, but eventually things will become easier.

Helen, I am glad that the vets went well, it sounds like you adore them so much.

Rosegirl, I know you, you never give up. You know you have us too, to get you through. Never give up hope.

Sheepwoman, I hope you get some decent sleep soon and that the cold wind lets up.

Trace

Stay off the roads.

Miss Helen is learning to drive, or trying to, yet again....
And yes I have the OK to drive from the professionals.

Lol, Helen

I'm staying away from Scotland. Have fun and good luck.

Trace

It is pouring with rain here. And my mood matches. I have no appetite, no interest in anything. I have TV to catch up on, uni work to do and no concentration in which to do it.
I feel like I'll probably burn my fish fingers... my concession to food.

On the other hand yesterday was mostly great. I enjoyed my driving lesson. tried to get into second gear... was only going around 10mph. I feeling confident in having a test pass within 2 years and 2 months my theory test is booked for July 2nd.
And well I know that stuff inside out, just need a wee bit of revision.

Hi Helen

I am so sorry that you feel so down today. I hope it lifts soon. I am glad that you enjoyed your driving lesson yesterday.

Trace

Helen, I take it you're learning how to drive a stick-shift. I never got the hang of it and insisted going from first to third gear. lol

The sun's still out with the cold wind during the day. It's supposed to rain later today and through the weekend. Probably just enough to knock the dust down.
SW

Weather is now very hot, cloudy still and I am toasting.

Sheepwomen, Stick shift is the most popular way to drive in the UK. So I am learning that way.

It's been raining here for about 2 days now.I think we have a few more days of it too.Up to about 4-5 inches of rain.Work is driving me nuts.I have an employee who either shows up at the last minute or running late.She tried to use the excuse of where she lives.I'm not buying that one because she only lives 10 minutes away.I use to drive from another town,50 minutes away.She also does as she pleases,not listening to instructions from me.Such as study the tanning beds,lotions,and sales codes.She is more concerned in her wedding and sitting up there trying to look pretty.She has only been with us 2 months and is already taking a week off.I would fire her,but I really need some help up there.We have gone through quite a few employees over the past year and it's hard to work it all by myself.Plus it's a big impact on my moods,too.Yesterday,I was soooo close in going off on my neighbor.I flipped out and then my memory is shot.She will get a piece of my mind today.Long story there.I don't like anyone hurting my child's feelings.Sorry,don't mean to be full of gripes this morning.I feel like I'm at a snapping point.As with this employee,I cannot verbally say what I expect out of her.I have to write down what I want and feel,because if I don't,I have this explosive anger.I shake,sweat,my face feels like it's on fire,and I'm yelling and cussing.I do the same with my ex,my son's father.I have to take a Xanax an hour before he picks up my son.Maybe I need my meds changed or something.I don't know anymore.Something is going on to where I can't handle myself at times.

Helen, Its nice that its hot there. I am frozen here, its rainy, overcast and cold...brrr

Sheepwoman, has it rained yet.

Starfish, that sounds incredibly frustrating, I don't blame you for being annoyed. Could you put some rules in place and put in some kind of warning system with her? Something that frustrating can trigger anger. Maybe going back to your doc could help you through this too.

Trace

Still Hot here.
My flat is a toaster/oven/furnace so I glad I really cut back The three hairballs hair the other week, and get thinning scissors and proper grooming scissors, they are pet piggles so why should they not be very happy and cool enough.
Having a really funny time of things as well.
Got to go eat and then do some vegetables for the piggles. they are starting to demand them.

Hi all, thought I'd drop in and say hello. I recognize some of your names from some threads I've started or been involved with.

Let me say in advance to you all, it's a pleasure meeting you.

I'm doing pretty good these days. A couple of rough patches here and there.... Found out last Wednesday that I have some fairly serious physical health issues that are going to require a lot of lifestyle changes. I handled that pretty badly (got drunk while watching the planes land and take off at the airport, while wallowing in self-pity), but since, I'm starting to make the changes to get myself healthy: better diet, more exercise. Of course those things will help my mental state as well.

I'm starting to think that maybe, just maybe, the doc has me on the right combination of meds. Time will tell, but I'm optimistic at the moment, and have been for a few days.

There's more to say, but I'll keep it short for now...

Helen, I hope you don't get too hot. I am not particularily fond of heat.

Welcome LifeGoesOn, I am glad that things seem to be working for you and that you are optimistic. I am sorry to hear about the physical health issues, but changing your lifestyle can help in so many ways. Its good to have you join us.

Trace