This is my first post, here goes:

So I'm currently taking 50mg sertraline, prescribed for me about 4 months ago, and have been taking it since. I fell into a depression awhile ago, and have always been socially anxious/awkward since I can remember. The biggest stressor that lead me to going to the doctor was after I had a run with ecstasy. I was abusing it, taking 2-3 pills at a time for weekends at a time thinking nothing of it. Of course, before that, I had actually started to feel better about moving here...but that went to hell. Finally, after the drug use stopped cold turkey in around august of last year, I fell into a deep depression, always wanting to sleep, never wanting to be awake, feeling like crap/crying for no reason and having no explanation at all for any of it, fiending for the drug constantly. Luckily, there wasn't anyone to supply it to me, or else I would have gone down that road, no luckily I went to see a doctor and he gave me my prescription. First weeks were hard, I honestly felt worse, major problems were suicidal thoughts. I would go as far as standing on top of a parking garage and stare down for an hour or so...but I could rationalize it enough to not want to do it. So now here's kind of my question for people who have been taking the medication for awhile now. That is, what is your experience with feeling totally unmotivated and having time distortion? I have this odd feeling that if I don't do anything on impulse it will never happen...meaning, if I don't do this now, right now, there's no chance of it happening, no goals or things to look forward to, totally losing sight of the future, almost to the point I felt like the day was just going to end, the world was ending everyday. I've kind of pulled out of it, but I still have a hard time thinking months/years down the road, I only see the clouded reality of now. Second, I have some times where I "flat line" as I like to call it, where I could be totally indifferent to anything happening around me. If it was a color, it would be gray, dull. Mind you, the medication has helped a lot, I can feel much better about social situations, and I even have fun and enjoy my time around others..I just can't help but feel like it's all a haze though, I really want to be drug free, but I tried going cold turkey and that ended up disasterous, and I could take the mental pain so I started up again. My appointment with my doctor was cancelled due to some problem with the insurance, but I do want to start to take half my dose a day, which from what I hear around here is the best way to start weaning off..anyone have suggestions?

This post has been edited by livinincalifornia: Jun 28 2009, 03:21 AM

livinincalifornia,

I've heard of some people having dulled reactions while on meds but I haven't personally experienced it.

Is the haze the reason you want to wean off the Zoloft? Or is it because you just don't want to be on meds?

This post has been edited by frangipani: Jun 28 2009, 03:29 AM

Mainly it's because I want to be free of the medication..I want to be able to live without it. I tried to cold turkey but that was a bad idea..I'm ready to deal with the withdrawl, I'm just having a hard time being patient with it. It was hard enough waiting for it to start working, it's another thing to think of it going in the opposite direction you know? thanks for the reply btw.

You're welcome

Any weaning--or any changes, for that matter--should really be discussed with your psychiatrist. Even if your appt. was moved, can you still put a call in and let them know that you want to start coming off your meds? I'm sure your pdoc will call back and you can further discuss your feelings with him/her.

I'm curious, though...what do you expect your mood will be like without the meds?

This post has been edited by frangipani: Jun 28 2009, 03:46 AM

that's hard to say..in reality, I suppose I can hope for normal ups and down, feelings of motivation and a desire to keep going on with life. There's been times when I felt like the pain wasn't worth it, but then everytime I do, the next day proves to me why I keep going on. In reality, I feel somewhat of an idiot, that I brought this depression on myself through the drug use..but i've learned that lesson, and I'm ready to move on.

Please don't feel like an idiot. A lot of us have tried drugs only to have ill effects from them. It's totally not uncommon.

What's good is that you've learned fairly quickly what happens with you and E. But meds are potent drugs themselves and it's important to discuss getting off them with your pdoc. Just like when you stopped the E, getting off without the proper guidance could send you into a spin.

You and your pdoc are partners in your care and should discuss your care together before any new steps are taken. None of us are docs and all of us would exercise caution in telling you whether going with halves is a good idea. If it's hard for you to wait for your next appointment, I encourage you to put in a call...your pdoc, if he/she agrees that going off meds is okay for now, may be able to just give you a tapering schedule over the phone.

I'm sorry if this isn't the answer you wanted. If it isn't, please wait for others to weigh in before you decide anything.

HI Livincal,

That's exactly what I hope being med free will do for me too. Don't feel like an indiot, seriously, we've all done things that haven't worked out well for us. That's life I guess, making mistakes and learning from them.
I have been to my doc to discuss weaning off mine and instead of halving things he gave me different tablets with varying doses. How soon can you get back to see him because it's always good to get their advice.

PRT xx

thanks guys for the replys I appreciate the responses. I'm getting an appointment set for the next few weeks, I'm going to see what he thinks would work.