Hi there, my husband has been telling me this is a fantastic site and forums. I have finally decided to check it out. I really don't know where to begin. It's very surprising how quickly life can change. I'm 31, been married for 2.5 years and have no children. It was only a year ago when my husband and I were doing so well. Both had great paying jobs, had bought a new car, and things were beginning to look up for us. Clearly that wasn't in the works.

In March of last year I was diagnosed with Depression and dysmythia. Things had been creeping up for quite awhile before my diagnosis. I was prescribed Effexor and it didn't work for me. I got up to 225mg by September and it was a decision to keep increasing or try something else. Between March and September I had gone through 4 jobs, and decided I needed to take a break to get myself well. So I stopped working in September, started Wellburtin, and talking with my therapist and doctor about group therapy. I had my "interview" for a day program, and was told due to my pot use, I would have to stop smoking for 4 months before they would consider me. At that time, it was not an option, I was barely holding on as it was.

Then mid-October my husband was suicidal and was admitted to the pshyc ward at our hospital. He was there until mid-November. To be honest, I don't even really remember too much of that month. I just know I was at the hospital everyday, and that is was the most terrifying experience of my life. When he was released I don't know if I was more scared then, than when he was in the hospital. At least he was safe there. Neither of us were working, both collecting unemployment insurance. I decided in December that I was going to go back to work, and well that lasted 6 weeks. Mid January, my husband had his first obvious "manic episode" and was diagnosed with bi-polar, after 12 years of depression. I took that very hard, and sent my leveled off depression into a very fast downward spiral. It also put me in a sort of limbo with the mental health care system here. Because I had stopped seeing my dr. and therapist I had to start the process all over again. Which I am in the process of doing.

So this is where we are at today. Neither of us employed, tomorrow we are declaring bankruptcy and the auction company is coming to pick up our 1 year old car, Monday we find out if we will qualify for social assistance, and Tuesday hopefully I will be able to get something from my Dr. stating that I am unable to work. My husband is still struggling with his medication changes.

I don't really know what else to say, it's been a very difficult year, and the reality of what has happened is starting to settle in now that we are losing everything. I no longer feel secure in where we are at in life. I honestly never thought I would be in this position, never thought I would ever be on welfare, never thought I would be declaring bankruptcy. We have no income right now. It is a terrifying realization when you are no longer controlling aspects of your life, that you are a numbered file that a person makes a decision on.

danzsweetpea,

Wow, I'm so sorry you're having such a rough time. That sounds extremely difficult.
I don't really know what to say, but I wanted to reply and offer a few words of comfort and encouragement. I do think it is wonderful that you and your husband are both continuing to try to get better even in the face of so much difficulty. I hope that you will get better and get your lives back on track. You will be in my thoughts tonight.

Hey Sweetpea, your hubby is right, DF is a great place.
I'm so sorry things have gone so bad for you and hubby, so quickly too. Please try and look at it this way, Health is better than wealth. When you don't need to control so many aspects of your life hopefully with meds and therapy you can both feel better. It's so good you have each other. When you both feel better you can start again from the bottom, the only way is up, this time at a suitable pace your both comfortable with.
I'm off work at the moment, get very little sick pay and I doubt our morgage insurance company will pay 'cos they are going to say its an on going thing. Hopefully if i'm diagnoised with a mood disorder they will have to seperate it from my previous depression, will have to wait and see. Thankfully my hubby is ok but his wage can't support us both. I had a dream last night we had to sell my little car, we've already down sized hubbys car. I'm dreading everything going wrong, losing the house and living with my Mother, I just want to be well.
Please know i'm thinking of you both xxx

what country do you live in? you mentioned going through the medical health care system, so i just wanted to know if you're in a country with social medical care or in the US, where you're screwed if you don't have insurance and aren't poor enough for social assistance.

i'm bp1, and qualified for SSDI (social security disability insurance) a few years ago. they only gave me $928/month, which was barely enough to cover my rent, bills, gas for my car, MEDS, and food. there were times when i couldn't afford to eat. i dropped from 145lbs to 112lbs very quickly.

i got a lot better though. i was on SSDI for 2 years before returning to work. i feel pretty good now, except i'm facing the burnout that most workers feel in my line of work (i'm an IT help desk analyst and work in a call center).

i know what you mean about going through job after job, the experience of the psych ward, and all of that. i know what you mean when you say your car is getting repo'ed, because mine was too.

i guess what i'm trying to say is that i'm still here, still alive, still going through it all but much better. i'm married, holding down a job, and have gotten off of SSDI. things are looking up again!

and things will look up again for you too. it's quite a fight, but along with your husband, there isn't anything you can't do if you do it together.

best of luck!!!

I am in Canada thank God! Otherwise we'd be screwed for sure. I am glad (??) that other's can relate to what we are going through at the moment, and can relate from the other side of this mountian. It's just very scary right now that it's all happening. We rebooked our appt. with the bankruptcy trustee until next week. Neither of us really felt up to it this morning.

Thank you for all of your thoughts, it's nice to hear some nice words from people who are going through similar situations.

Just wanted to send a note to say I hope things work out for you. It is a pretty scary place to be. I totally understand the thinking "this was never supposed to be me" - I've been there too.

Keep us posted!