It's been a surprisingly long time since I last had an episode. I'm not sure if I'm better controlling it, or maybe it's the new more sleep, the weight i'v put on (and not happy about), the less hours at work... or what. Hah all of those together probably help. But I still find it odd. I haven't had "normal" time this long in a while... I'm not sure how to really go about it. I procrastinate a lot, so sleeping til 11a or 12p when I work the night shift pretty much allows me to sit around at home doing nothing. I want to be productive, I want to do a lot of things... it's just really hard for me to get those things started. Get the paints out and have inspiration to paint... call and find out when classes are for dance... join the gym so I can run (since it's like monsoon season here and it's rained more days than not)... etc.
I don't feel depressed, just... bored and I'm not used to it. It was usually I wasn't Manic, I was depressed. I'm off meds, so I know this won't last. I'm not expecting it to.

Hi Ocean

I think its wonderful that you are feeling ok. I hope it lasts long and while it does, enjoy it.
It is hard to get used to it, as you are so used to not feeling this way.
I hope you paint lots of really inspirational things and do all the things you want to do.

Trace

Hmm try not to question it I say! Glad you're feeling much better.

PRT xx

IDK but enjoy the time while it lasts!

This post has been edited by iowa: Jul 6 2009, 09:35 PM

Most definitely enjoy the time while it lasts. It's great to hear about some one doing well and feeling well.

I'm going to get there. In fact, for the most part I am there. I just have my "off" days still. I'm getting better and better at dealing and coping though. It certainly is a wonderful feeling isn't it?

Well... the good was short lived and long gone. I wanted to be asleep hours ago, but my mother and I got into it AGAIN and of course it was all my fault when not really!! I keep telling her she needs therapy too. I can't get better if the people around me aren't doing anything different. This is not something I can do on my own. She still knows nothing of bipolar except what I or my sister have told her. She very well knows my triggers, but doesn't want to acknowledge them and I'm not sure why.
My ex, that is also bipolar... stopped speaking to me again and now I have no one that understands. No one that I know right now has any kind of emotional/mental disorder and it's hard trying to explain it. It's such a lonely feeling, when no one gets what is going on.

Sorry the good spell was short-lived. It's hard dealing with Mums like that isn't it. You'll probably never convince her though. I guess she just finds the whole thing hard to admit to herself. Could you take her to the doctor with you so that she could hear it from them?
You're doing a good job though, so don't let yourself forget that.

PRT xx

I have that kind of relationship with my mother too. Mostly we are fine, and she is aware of my triggers, but then it will go bam(!) and some random small thing will escalate into something big and I`ll end up in tears tearing myself up. It`s sort of the way it is, because when we live at home, we are close to those people who has had the most influence on us (at least in my case), so they affect us more than most others. It`s not a good feeling when you feel emotionally abandoned.

These things go up and down quickly though, mostly my situations with my mother works out later. I am sure yours will too!
Just hang on in there, and try not to feel like they dont love you, or dont wish to understand you. They are just human, like we are. They make mistakes, and have bad days as well. Most of the times when me and mum fight, one of us or both have had a bad day. I forget sometimes that my mother might some times have less patience and be less understanding because she has troubles too, and therefore it affects everything else.
Doesn`t mean she does not care.

Hope things improve for you soon,

C.