ABOUT BEING STIGMATIZED BY A STIGMATIZED SOCIAL INSTITUTION - SSD.
Years ago I had to apply for disability for Bi-Polar Disorder. My doctors told me I'd be turned down. It wasn't a physical disability. They wrote up my report, perfunctorily. My last step was to be interviewed by the State psychiatrist. I had nothing planned to say. He suprised me. Good looking. Wearing a designer suite. Not at all what I would have expected. In the "mold green" room, I found myself speaking as if someone else had the words. I asked him a question: "If I were in a car crash and had my right limbs severed, would I be a candidate for disability?" Without hesitation he said "Yes". "Well", I told him "I have a car crash in my head everday. Bi-Polar is life threatening. I simply can't live without assistance. I'd be without medication, my life line, and would wind up homeless and then most likely dead. There would be nothing life saving for me. He listened and I continued. "I don't have the words to say. If I am to be stigmatized for having a severe mental illness by an already stigmatized institution this should speak volumes to the condition and lack of compassion of the State of New York." We discussed the topic for about ten minutes. In the end, he placed his hand on my shoulder and told me I didn't have to wait for the paper work. That I qualified.
My doctors were in shock and took full credit for their purfunctory notes. My point is that sometimes we have to fight not only the pedestrian's stigmatization but the big guys in the position to say yes or no. Validate us. It can be and should be done. We must fight for our rights. We are complicated human beings. And that's all. Actually, were more than that. Think of all the noted artists and celebraties who payed the price. Mental illness. Van Gough, Vivian Liegh, Patty Duke, even tough guy Mike Wallace. And what do we do? We "take" from them. I stigmatize all those who stigmatize.
Thank you Lindsay, for beginning this thread.

What a wonderful reply Moodbeam!

Way to go Moodbeam

I like you had to be interviewed. It was at a table in the middle of a hotel dining area. There was no privacy, but I really didn't care. I had gone to so many pdocs by then. The job I had would not even let me on the property to get my tools, to much liability.

I had called the company help line and they had sent me to several top ranked university hospitals for testing and even flew in a
p specialist from L. A. So I had lots of paper work, substantiating me.

But, if I had had a visible injury they would probably met me in a private office somewhere, I've always thought.
Mental Illness doesn't qualify for a private interview ----I quess????

I Thank God I only had to do it once and I was approved. The man was not very nice. I was very anxious, highly stressed,and very depressed.

Thanks! I'm a story teller and this one needed to be told....

Isn't it all just awful? Thank goodness you had paperwork to back you up. As you know, my doctor's paper work was written in haste. I'll never have to go through this again. Once you're in the system, your in the system. Very difficult to get out. I discovered this later, after going through much anxiety.

Hey Moodbeam! I found your thread...remember when I "pm'd" you as to where I could find it? You go girl!!! I was very lucky that I was eligable for disability. The first time I applied I was denied...but I've heard here in Pa. you are usually are with depression. The second time I was approved. What gets me is people like us look fine on the outside but inside we are not. Our disablity is every bit real just as those who have physical disabilities. Does that make sense? I know what I want to say but can't think of the words to do it. Maybe saying we have just as much right to apply and get disability than those with physical disabilites..( I think I am repeating myself) I am a living..walking...talking... example with a disablity that can not been seen...only to those who are in the same boat understand. In Pa. it is very hard to prove a for someone to get disability due to depression. Yes..we can go shopping...go out to eat..we can walk..talk..do whatever...and look just fine...and that's what gets me...people don't see inside our minds...I feel they think we go and do things and can get a goverment check...while those who have physical disabilites can be seen. Like we are "playing" the system. You would think years and years of research about depression it would be recognized as a very real disease...but there are still people out there that think otherwise. I am grateful for my check every month...I do not take it for granted..and I do not feel bad for getting it. Do people think we want to feel this way? I don't know about you..but I wished I could go back to work..have a social life...and be normal...but I can't...although I am hoping someday I may be well enough to take a small part time job. In Pa. you can get a job as long as the salary you make does not exceed what your disablity checks are. It's so very hard to talk to someone who is not depressed...they just think we can fight it and it will go away. Thanks for posting your thoughts on this. I also my reply makes sense...part of my illness is trying to put into words what I want to post or type. Talking about it is more easier for me. Sometimes I think the entire world needs to be on Prozac...I call it my "happy pill"
Goozie

Thank you Moodbeam for sharing your story. It is great to hear your story and how you taught a thing or two to the big guys although you shouldn't have to.

Mental illness is hard enough and to have to fight stigma and professionals who do their work in a perfunctionary manner is more than one should have to experience.

It takes a alot of energy and spirit to fight and argue convincingly to people who should understand.

I'm glad you took that step Moodbeam

hello moodbeam, thank you so much for your story, it does make perfect sense and it's good that you were able to stand up for not only your rights but the rights of others with mental illnesses. maybe since you had pointed out to the state pdoc the situation and questions then maybe it will be taken even higher up the chain that mental illness should not be taken lightly. it is a real illness and a serious one. i applaud you.