I was wondering how many of you worry whether online depression forums fuel the depression, or make you genuinely feel better? I've been spending many, many hours reviewing this forum. On the one hand, I feel it's comforting and is something of a lifeline. On the other hand, I wonder if it's a good use of my time -- as I zone out unproductively each day waiting for the medication to kick in. My cognitive therapist didn't say that the forums are a bad idea, but he seemed to suggest that possibility by the way he asked whether it's making my problem worse. Any thoughts? Does there come a point where it can become an obsession?

Oh, hell no! This place is a godsend. It can become an obsession, but for all the right reasons.

Hi MichaelBlue ,

This is an interesting point , Coping with depression without any feedback , apart from therapists , is difficult to say the least , depression making us socially isolated , this forum provides communication with out danger of being misunderstood , the moderating team work hard to make sure that this forum stays safe and supportive , I can understand how it can become a haven and to some extent obsessive during that period of recovery when we are still so fragile and lacking in confidence , the danger comes when a forum , any forum replaces real life comunication , If one has social anxiety , one can become bolder behind the protection of a screen , if one has a low physical self image , then again there is the protection of the screen behind which there is no fear of any critical eye.

I can see the point your therapist is making , but I firmly believe that when we feel strong enough , we will have less and less need for comforting feedback , but for some people who live a life of great solitude this forum is a godsend , even when they have recovered .

Hugs Hedge

Those are excellent points, Hedge -- thank you both for your responses. I went from having a very productive life to a sudden paralyzing depression in a matter of just one month. Unclear what triggered it. I do find the forum a comforting place to "hang out" right now, as my inability to function normally (and work productively) has me locked in a mental prison. There simply are no family members/friends who can spend countless hours with a person in this predicament.

(((MichealBlue )))))

This is why this forum is so very important ,clinical depression is often consternating for family members and friends who see a formerly well functioning person , lose all ability to interreact or even to move .
It can be frightening for others . Being able to express this distress to others who are experiencing it or have come out of the other end is just such a relief , no pretence is neccessary , of trying to live on automatic pilot . I am glad you found us . So that you can be supported and listened to during this time of imprisonment which depression brings about .

Hugs again Hedge

Personally for me forums like this are a godsend. Makes me realise that I'm not the only one...

Thanks again, Hedge. You made me shed one tear. (The Lexapro I started taking two weeks ago quickly halted the crying jags.) Each morning my wife and son go off to work and school, respectively, and I'm left to go through the motions of another day of doing absolutely nothing in this prison. I work from home, or at least I used to -- until I was reduced to this depressed half-life. It's astonishing to me how the illness robs you of all self-esteem, self-confidence and ability to accomplish even the simplest of tasks (i.e. a shower). It's especially hard to keep in touch with friends and colleagues, and come up with excuses all the time for why I can't get together socially or even return a call.
In my imagination (I haven't lost my sense of humor, although it's slipping), I sometimes visualize sending out formal printed announcements: "Mr. Michael ####...wishes to announce the onset of a serious clinical depression. No gifts please. He is unlikely to be communicative until his medicine kicks in, but will surely be in touch afterwards when he returns to his usual stellar self. Thank you for your patience and understanding."

(( Micheal)))


This made me smile , And it is in fact a good idea !!! It made me imagine how my friends would recieve such a message ,
I must admit I become totally phonephobic , and lose friends . This sort of card may avoid relationship fractures.

Wishing you well

Hugs hedge

At first this site was such a refreshing thing. Sometimes some of the posts get to be too much for me, which is why I took a break from here for a while.Overall I would say coming to DF is a good thing.

This post has been edited by dondi2538: Nov 7 2007, 10:53 AM

This is a very interesting topic, MichaelBlue, and something that I've been thinking about lately. There was a time when I needed to be here a lot for the sake of my mental health, but lately I've found myself squandering hours upon hours of my time here, when I should be doing something productive in the "real world". I guess that's the point when it becomes an obsession, or an avoidance of life. Internet addiction is a disorder unto itself. I think we all know when that happens for ourselves. I'm currently trying to modify my behavior for a better balance that reflects the "new and improved" me, by filling in more of my "real life" calendar. I imagine many people go through this kind of process after they find DF and get through the worst of their depression.

Having said that, I must add that DF has been a tremendous help to me overall, and I think most people here would agree.

I have to say something, Suburgatory. I only discovered this forum a few days ago (although it feels like months, given the hours I'm browsing it!). And your posts really do stand out in my mind. I have found them very insightful, intelligent, inspiring and sensible. They've given me much comfort in a very dark, wretched period. And I'm confident that others feel the same way about how much you have gifted people with your knowledge. Thank you for this.

Hi MichaelBlue and everybody,

I love this forum BUT, I have to agree with what Burgy writes here. I have noticed that I am very compelled to spend hours and hours here every day. Personally, I am not in a state of emotional crisis, yet I still spend the vast majority of my time on this website. I have dysthymia, which is a chronic, "low to moderate grade" depression. I also have various other types of emotional disorders and I can relate to so much of what people write here.

Anyhow, I guess my point is that, in my personal experience there IS a very real danger of becoming addicted to forums like this. I don't think this makes my depression worse, but I do believe it is a sign that I am not leading a balanced life. And, my personal use of this forum is definitely a sign of my obsessive-compulsive behavior.

Again, this is just my personal experience. I am someone who becomes addicted to things very easily, so it does nto surprise me that I find myself addicted to DF.

As I say, I love this forum and have got/am getting A LOT out of it. But I definitely recognize that there is also a compulsive/addictive element going on with me.

Wishing you well, MichaelBlue! Oh, and I completely agree with you that Burgy writes many really wonderful responses to people here!

Take care.

Joanna

Thank you so much, MichaelBlue! Posts like that keep me coming back for more! I can't tell you how rewarding it is to hear that I've made that kind of a difference.

I spent about 20 years in the death grip of major depression. In addition to my own suffering, I caused a lot of pain and destruction to the people closest to me. Depression made me very angry and selfish. Now that my disease is under control with medication, I feel like a new man. I want to give back some of my good fortune to those who are still suffering. In a way, I feel like I'm working off my bad karma!

I'm glad you discovered DF. I sort of stumbled on it myself, a few months ago. It's truly a place of healing. But, as with all things, it should be consumed in moderation! Hard to do for people like Joanna and myself, who are admittedly prone to addiction! Ah, well...I can think of many, far worse addictions! Thanks again for this thought provoking topic.

Thank you, Joanna, and thank you, Burgy. I really hope you both continue to grace the forum with your presence and insights.

I'm in this strange, lonely, anxious space right now with my depression -- 'zoning out' hour after hour after hour -- and unsure if it's the depression talking, or the start-up of the meds talking, or a combination of both. (I only began the Lexapro 16 days ago.)

I was highly intelligent and productive until this depression destroyed me two months ago. Now I feel almost retarded and barely able to form a coherent sentence. In just two days, I think I'm becoming addicted to this forum, since I'm unable to do much else. Best regards to you both and everybody.

Interesting comments and I think one's use of DF is an important to keep in mind. If one is spending too much time here, there could be a problem, as Burgy pointed.

I'm not sure I'd say that the forum worsens depression, but it is possible that some people could be trying to use the forum when a talk therapist and medication would be more productive. But the good thing is that we generally support people in their needs. DF is an important lifeline for many who may be isolated in their depression, so it keeps them connected. And I think there are many who find the DF relieves depression.

I know that when I'm more depressed, I rely on DF more for support and post more frequently. So for me, it is an expression of worsening depression--but it doesn't worsen my depression. So, I try to keep a balance.

When I was very depressed, I was so relieved to find this site. The forum here made me feel so good when someone actually responded to something I posted!! And I felt not so alone. People here are very nice and caring. I wanted to give back something too, as I know how terrible depression can be and how very much alone you can feel. I too am obsessive though and get easily addicted. So sometimes I try to limit my time here or my whole day would be gone!!! Then I have other problems to deal with, like a grumpy husband, lol! I just cant understand why he has to be so hungry when he comes home from work!!!

Gentle Sun

I was feeling extremely alone, isolated, lonely. I went to mommy forums and found fluff and niceties! I wanted something deeper, more real so badly. When I found DF, angels sang!!!!

I love it here!!

Burgy is an inspiration!!

I limit myself to an hour in the morning and an hour or two in the afternoon. I do think I could just immerse myself here, because it feels so good to be able to be real and not worry about how I am taken!!!

I don't take medication or do therapy. I don't know if I ever will get to the point that I have the courage. So for me, this is it!! I don't know what I would do without these special people here, they helped me when I was ready to chuck it all!! Very real stuff, very helpful.

Sent to me from God, that is what I think!!!

I do not thing that Depression Forums worsen the Depression (at least for me). It's been such a saviour for me since I found it a few months ago. I was felt very lost and alone, but was comforted to know that there are others out there who understand and that I can discuss it with.

I guess as long as you aren't totally obessesed being on night and day.

This is a place where I find comfort and sanity when I think things look hopeless. I'm very glad that I found DF and all the members that have made it so welcome.

My therapist thinks the total opposite, I think she likes the fact I'm apart of DF

I've told her about the wonderful love we all share here

Me too Keren, I have told my counsellor about all the love and support here from people who know exactly what each other is going through.

DF has helped me in so many ways. I was lost, struggling, lonely and scared when I arrived here.

I have only told my OH and a couple of friends what has been happening. Friends are great but they have their own lives and cannot sit and chat to me when I need it whereas there is always somebody around here to talk to.In fact only people on here know how bad it has been, I haven't even told OH about the worst bits.

I am fortunate in that I can go out now, I can go away for short periods so I get a balance although my family say I am always on my computer!!

This place has not made me worse at all. It has helped me get better.

Sounds like this forum has been helpful for most people, including myself. I agree that there is a sort of comfort and reassurance in knowing that the people here are just about the only ones anywhere that truly and fully understand the intense and seemingly unending level of suffering that MH disorders cause all of us, and that each of us is not alone in our anguish. Thank you all for being the valuable "sounding board" that you are.

I have not red all replies. One reasons for this is that i (just like Michael) think that spending too much time in depression froums is not good for you.

One the one hand it is great to be with so many people who have been to the same dark place and i feel a spirit of brotherhood. I met so many great and caring people over here.

On the other hand: i think there is the danger that we let depression define us. If we lose our depression, we'll lose this place. Know what i mean?

Hi Christopher , I am hearing what you are saying , but there are many members who once well on the road of recovery , and knowing the lack of understanding generally on the outside keep posting here supporting more fragile members as an act of generosity and caring . Losing ones depression as you put it doesn't mean we lose interest in the people we have had the privelege to meet here .

Hugs Hedge

Everyone is making great points here. I think that what is driving my current obsession (i.e. constantly reading threads on this forum) are:

1. The need for some comfort in a terrifyingly-lonely state-of-mind -- from people who really do 'get it.'
2. The need not just to try and recover, but to try and understand why this has now happened to me for a third time in my life. Many of the threads provide some good questions, answers, clues, and things to at least talk about in therapy.
3. The need for info (and some hand-holding) by people who have already gone through the initial stages of starting up a medicine.

So I thank you all for this!

I've been here since 2001, when I first started Efexor and wanted to find out info about it. I used DF for support through my deepest depression and also found that by helping others it helped me. For me finding this forum gave me a purpose and something to do amongst the darkness. I spend less time now on the forums that I did at first.

DF has helped keep me alive, given me friendships and support that I would not otherwise have had. I have had loads of advice from people who know what I am going through when I say I am having a bad time.

DF is like having a 24 hour drop in group therapy session. The only downside is that sometimes the responses do not come quickly enough but I do get impatient at times.

I do think however, that for some people, the online support does mean that they do not have to force themselves to try and get support from people in real life.

When I think of what I'd be doing if it weren't for DF, it doesn't bear thinking about. I'd be totally alone.

It is wonderful to have people know what I mean and to have what I say accepted. Too many times in real life, have I heard things that show me that my friends don't really know what I am going through. I also know that here on DF I won't 'depress' people by what I say. I can post a TRIGGER warning and people can read or not read.

There have been times when I have been so ill that I couldn't bear to come to read or do my mod duties. The people at DF accept me for what I can do and accept me when I can't do things.

Yes.

DF has been a lifeline for me in my darkest hours. The support I have rec'd here over the last two years has been amazing. I find it beneficial proving support to others too.

Although, in saying all this, sometimes I find when I'm really depressed and reading posts, my depression can get deeper but I've learned that I just need to step back from the DF for awhile until my mood lifts.

Hi MichaelBlue,
I was actually thinking of starting a similar topic! Regarding whether DF worsens depression...I'm leaning towards "no." But, to be honest, I have wondered if DF encourages me to dwell on my depression. After thinking about this topic for a while, I realize that DF is helping me in such an essential way. Being involved in this community forces me to confront my illness. Before coming to DF and actively pursing treatment, I had a tendency to deny my illness, to some extent.

For me, reading posts I can relate to, trying to help others, and receiving insight from others gives me so much comfort. It's like having a workout buddy, in the sense that we're not going through this alone. We're all motivating each other towards a common goal.

I think Christopher raises a good point when he says "there is the danger that we let depression define us." We do have to maintain a balance. The same is true for any illness, really. Depression is a reality we face in our lives, but we can't give it the power to take over our identities. That's difficult, because it can be such an overpowering and debilitating condition that affects every aspect of our lives.

- Elly

Brilliant points, Elly!

This is like group therapy, with people from all over the world; experiencing the same things, with the same illnesses, learning from eachother.
How cool is that?
Lucinda

I love DF, it helps me tremendously to be here, it helps me tremendously to help others too.
DF has helped me to grow, learn, understand and feel 100's x better. It has helped me to not feel alone in many ways.
I do understand that people may often want to spend too much time here, but I have found myself a wonderful balance. I only come on line certain hours of the day. I don't come on line at all over the weekends or at nights, that is me time, my childrens time and it suits me just perfectly. I actually feel like I could easily spend more time here, without it being to much.
As they say too much of a good thing, can be unhealthy, so for me its a healthy dose of DF, 5 days a week and I love it.

Trace

I truly believe that if I did not come across this place not so long ago I would not have made it. every one here has without a doubt been a tremendous
help to me. So for me I have to say it has done nothing but good for me and I have made a life time of caring friends

This post has been edited by eveycain: Nov 8 2007, 06:34 PM

excellent topic. for the past 10 years i've been on and off of forums like this one. I feel that sites like DF can be immeasurably helpful for people like us, and can serve as a non-threatening refuge and avenue to convey what we're feeling without worrying about judgement. however, i think that if someone finds that refuge and isolates themselves in it for too long a time, at the expense of dealing with the rest of the 'world', then maybe its not as good a thing. sort of like it's not a very good rung on the ladder if you can never leave it. THAT SAID, i've always gotten the feeling here of an atmosphere of 'good that you're stable, but keep going towards better!'. So, after that ramble, i don't think that places like DF worsen depression, as they provide a good 'safety blanket' to vent to when things are bad. for people like us, there is sometimes no better feeling than that of not being alone; i think that outweighs any downsides.

Truly beautifully put.

It depends. I feel more connected sometimes when others feel the same way or feel bad if someone else does, but yet it's part of life and I know that if we all could, we'd love to do better. A therapist once told me that it didn't seem like I wanted to get better and that really bothered me. I've gotten great advice from this as well and just the support is nice. I feel good when I can help others and I'm sure others feel the same. So, there's good and bad to this, just like all else in life. Funny how I was thinking about this earlier today before seeing this on here.

i have been on a few forums. one was for people in midlife crisis(my husband). at times i thought reading the forums an participating in the chats might postpone moving on.

in the case of an ongoing condition, such as depression, the support makes a big difference and is not a crutch, nor does it make the condition worse.

...in my opinion, anyway...

Hey guys,

I'm pretty new here, so I'll give you my opinion as a relative outsider. DF is an incredibly supportive place for people who are really feeling bad. It's great for venting and sharing pain with similarly affected people. However, it also has somewhat of an "us vs. the world" feel to it. This forum seems less appropriate for people who have successfully achieved some stability in their lives again. The "One Step at a Time" section is pretty small. A couple other people commented how DF might encourage people to define themselves by their depression, thus inhibiting their recovery. I agree. DF is a very comforting place. If you stay in your comfort zone forever, you'll stop growing. I guess the key is to know when to move on.

This place makes me worse sometimes. That's why I haven't been here for months.

I haven't been a member here for very long so I don't think I can say whether DF has helped my depression on a large scale but it does make me feel a lot better to write down all my worries and have people support me through them. Truly, I am overwhelmed by the amount of love, support and comfort that everyone in DF provides each other with. Depression is extremely isolating so it is good to know that there are others out there going through the same thing.

Love to and hugs to everyone

I'm new here and I will say what has helped me the most is being able to read up on medications and information pertaining to depression. This site has a lot of info and links. I enjoy the forums too, but try to limit my time on them. I wouldn't want anyone to move on and leave here once they are cured as I want to know what cured them? How did they achieve finding the light side of life?