Recently i have been experiencing incredibly frustrating emotions, but i am unable to determine whether or not they are rooted in depression.

Let me explain. I am currently 24 but have no friends and have never had a girlfriend, these two areas are really what get me down the most. I work in a degrading job that involves people screaming at me all day, but as i have nothing to look forward to i choose to work a lot, which is quite funny as i hate my job but my life outside work is so boring and pointless that working is the only thing i can think of doing.

I have problems sleeping and have completely lost my appetite, so much so that i only eat when i am starving, otherwise i just can't stomach it. I feel so alone all the time and it's getting me down, especially when i see other people out and about with girlfriends and i have to go home to an empty house and reflect on why i am so down all the time. Annoyingly this isn't a recent feeling, but has been with me for years now, yet i have never gone to a doctor to see if there is much that can be done. I also find myself crying constantly at nothing, but i have no idea what i can do to stop myself.

In am so sick of feeling this way, and for the last 2 years i have always been of the thought that things will get better, things will get better, but they never have. In fact, they have gotten worse. I am not sure what to do now, and i hate the direction my thoughts are taking me. I don't understand why i am feeling this way, i mean there are people who have life a lot worse than me, so surely i should just be happy about that.

I am not sure what i expect to come from this but it feels good to get it off my chest. Thanks for any advice you can give me.

This post has been edited by Lostathome: Nov 7 2009, 03:42 PM

hey lost, welcome to DF

out of all the things ive witnessed and seen. though you feel you dont have it that bad your story is one of the most tear jerking storys ive seen yet. i diddnt even shed a tear for my grandmars funeral but i did for your story. for you. besides whos story is worse dosnt matter. every one has problems there is no scale to them and we are all affected by our problems equaly. no wonder your experianceing these emotions of frustration. lack of a social life, over working in conditions were you are shouted at. its not nice.. its hell even.... a cold hell. dont ever be ashamed of crying, its one of few things that seperate us from the animals. (no offence to animals)

dude... man. quit your job. you find your life boreing thats the only reason you stay right? find a job that youll enjoy. infact have you ever thought about taking a trip some where? going to a Dr is fine though a heads up. the medication isnt always helpful though it is for some. try it. but medication will never help fully in your situation. try finding a club or something to go to in any spare time. make friends at work. with a job you like it will make it alot easyer. through friends youll meet some one, and you will have a girl friend. so your task mainly is to make friends as many as posible. the best way to make friends i find is to have interest in there interests. also just plane out being cool with others is helpful too. base things to do. get job you like, go clubs based on things or a thing you like and take up hobbies you like, maby even public lessons... sutch as instrument classes, self deffencive classes, art classes things YOU like. you will meet people and through them meet more people, just by doing the things that make you happy. you might not even need any pills. also just by keeping happy in no time you will subconsously eat and sleep better. be you, be happy and keep it real. hope this helps some.

keep it real and go for it what ever it may be. peace.

Thanks for the reply. There is some good advice there. I really want to join an evening class so that i can learn something new but also meet new people, however my job has irregular hours so i am unable to attend regular appointments, so i can't arrange to attend clubs or classes that i might miss too much of. I do regularly go swimming though, but this came about due to me trying to find ways to find time until i have to work again, and it's more of a solitary activity. I have attempted to make friends at work, but this has been semi-fruitless as i have become close to another female worker and have met up outside of work a handful of times, but i am unsure what he opinion of me is and i don't have the self esteem to come out and ask her like most people would do. This actually adds to my frustration as i am unwilling to see if there is anything more there but at the same time i get annoyed when i see her talking to other men who are know are dogs.

It's these issues that also add to my depression as i don't have the social skills to deal with this situation and so it comes back to me sitting at home, alone, contemplating why i am feeling this way.

This post has been edited by Lostathome: Nov 7 2009, 05:03 PM

Its great that youve met someone you like. it seems like you care about her quite abit. show her this over time and you might not need to ask her for an opinion. asking for an opinion at the wrong time could put her on the spot and may make her uncomfortable. speacking highly of her in apropreat times will show her what you think of her. right now shes probly wondering about asking you what you think of her. but who has that kind of confidence? many people are scared of blowing away a good relationship. its a tricky thing. take her out and show her shes worth something. admire her. but do it in your own way. showing your uniqe fetures. romance is always good. and if what your scared of like every other person is scared of, happens. she tells you that your not her type or that she dosent want to get into something. its ok man. stay friends. but dont miss out on the chance to show her how much you like her. who knows what could happen. this goes for anyone else reading this too. in five to ten years when you look back at the time you "could" have asked someone out that you liked, and wonder what "could" have happend. wouldnt you river have the ability to say and think about what "did" happen? maby even to that person you wanted to ask out, "did" ask out. dont live life full of regrets, because even the little ones hurt... so much its unbarable. and small moments like two people smileing at each other for two seconds maby. thats what makes life worth living. go get your smile. hope this helped some.

Hi Lostathome and Welcome to DF,

First I would like to say that even though others may have life a lot worse then yours and you should be happy is not the case, it doesn't your feeling and problems are less then others. We are not professionals but with some of what you have told us you do have symptoms of depression, isolating yourself somewhat, your appetite, crying, the loneliness. Have you been to see a pdoc or therapist to evaluate you? This may be of help for you. Having feelings for someone that you are working with is ok and in time as you are the only one who will know when the time is right then maybe ask about her feeling for you or express your feelings about her. As stated in an earlier post on here it may be a good idea to treat her to movies, dinner or other things that may be of interest for the both of you and take it from there. Yes of course there are going to bed times when she talks to other men but that doesn't mean that she has relationships with them and if she is just friends with them then that is ok too. Maybe give some of the suggestions in these post here and see how things go for you. I do think that maybe you should see your doctor first to see if you would benefit from some therapy and be totally honest especially about your appetite.

Thanks. I have an appointment with a doctor in a few days, it's about an unrelated matter but i am thinking of mentioning those issues and seeing what he/she thinks, maybe they can do something for me. In regards to my feelings about the girl, the truth is that i think i am just clinging onto some hope of a different life, the sad thing for me is that i don't really have any friends and so this new friendship might be clouding my judgement into thinking it's something it's not, the last thing i want to do is drive away the only friend i might actually have. Although on the other hand i have so little self esteem that even if something was between us i still would constantly doubt myself and my ability to attract someone. In the back of my head i always have the thought that i hate myself so why would i subject another person to me. Maybe thats why i have no friends

How do other people do this? It something that escapes me constantly. I know that getting some decent friends will help pull me out of this ditch, but at the same time i find it incredibly hard to motivate myself to actually try and become friends with other people. How do you overcome your problems to do this? I just feeling like i am at the point now where i will soon no longer care about trying to have some friends, especially as a solitary life is all i have been used to, but now i want to try before i give up for good.

Can anyone give me some advice on overcoming this? Maybe i could discuss a common interest. I wonder how many people enjoy sleeping constantly and bitter loneliness?No?.....then how about rugby?

I really need to find the motivation and commitment to do this. I genuinely can't take the lonliness anymore.

While not a real solution, the Internet provides some people. Like here!

Find a local group of a hobby. There must be something you are interested in, go find people with similar interest. That should be easy to get new friends.

Hi Lostathome,

Have you seen your doctor yet? It's really hard to get yourself motivated while being depressed and isolation only makes it worse. You may think of writing yourself a to do list, like chores, it doesn't matter how big or small the task is, at least make an attempt in making at least one of those goals each day. Maybe try going for a walk, library something that won't take a lot of effort just to get yourself started. Possibly joining a community group or gym of some sort to where you may meet new people. Loneliness is something very hard to deal with but it can be over come. Keep posting here and let us know how things are going for you.

I went to the doctors yesterday, but i was so nervous i didn't say anything about being depressed. Looking back i shouldn't have done it, but sometimes my anxiety gets the better of me. I am going to book another appointment soon with the sole purpose of deaing with this problem head on. I can't continue to live like this. I feel so worthless and pointless.

Hi Lostathome.

I'm sorry that your appointment didn't go as well as you would have liked it to. Anxiety can really have a big effect on the ways we react and think when we are really nervous. I'm glad that you are going to make another appointment, perhaps you may want to print out some of your postings here and take them with you so that you can just let them read it and then take it from there. I have done this many times in the past and it does help.