Hi Everybody

I am new to this Forum and hope this message finds you all well. My wife passed away recently from skin cancer which had spread to her lungs and then her brain. She had to endure a leg amputation prior to the spread of the disease and was confined to a wheelchair. I had to give up my job to look after her and our two little boys aged 2 and 6.

Since my wife has been gone I have been flooded with negative thoughts, anxiety, depression and little or no confidence. I wondered if any other members of this forum who are suffering from depression for what ever reason, find their minds full of negative thoughts, anxiety, low self esteem and no self confidence. What can one do to try to overcome these feelings? Is there any information available to destroy these negative thoughts, overcome my anxiety and regain my confidence.

I would love to hear anyones thoughts, personal experiences relating to your depression and if you have found anything that has helped you come out of your depression.

Best wishes to you all

Spike

Hi and Welcome to DF (((((((((((((Spike)))))))))))))

You must be suffering immensely and I am very sorry for your loss.
Depression is a part of grieving and we have a password protected bereavement room here that may help you.
If you feel you need it, please pm any moderator or Admin for the password.

There are many things you can do to help you through this. You will go through many emotions in the grieving process.
You may want to seek bereavement counseling, also if you are really battling meds can help you through.

You can also find a bereavement support group near you.

Trying to take each day at a time and just let yourself work through the emotions can make a difference.



Trace

((((((((((((((Spike))))))))))))
Your depression, anxiety and other feelings can be signs of grief, especially if they started after your wife passed away. It is a normal pattern following the loss of a loved one. Grief can last for a few months or longer until you regain closure. If your wife had Hospice involved, many of them offer free bereavement services. I'm doing free grief support for the local Hospice. You can PM any admin or Moderator for the Bereavement foum password. There's many topics regarding the stages of grief and what you can do for yourself.

I was the sole caregiver for my aunt. She had breast cancer that metatised, ending with going to her brain. I know what it's like and can empathise with you.

Be sure you take care of yourself. Is there anyone you know who would be willing to take care of your children so you could have a break and time for yourself? It's very important that you take care of yourself firt; otherwise you won't be a good caregiver for your children.

Take care and let us know how you're doing.
Sheepwoman

Hey spike and welcome.

Every day i feel simaler man. but i could never understand what your going through. im so sorry for you and your childrens loss. though your wife is never truly gone. she will forever live on in your memorys and in your children and your chidrens children.

A good way i find to overcome any negative thoughts is to do something im good at. or just lisn to music. you could even make your own music. it also helps with anxiety. just the right song can make you feel more alive and confident though doing the things your good at would help with confidence more i guess. up to you. doing the things you enjoy doing will most likly take your mind off things. ether it being spots, art, working on the car or even air fix modles. or if you want you can try and get into a hobbie with your kids. get involved with activatys with them. it will increase your bonds together. try not to be alone though. when depressed being alone only leaves you with your own thoughts and its likly that they will be negative and will only make things worse. spend time with friends aswell even if your both just watching tv. youll have human contact and feel better automaticly. also as you might already find typing things or writeing things down is a massive releaf of pressure. you get everything in your head out on papper and no one will even have to see it. you can always delete or throw it away afterwards. or write a story or something. actuly, back to the music. something thats always fun to do no matter what kind of music you enjoy. study its history. like its orgins and how far its progressed and what not. youll find it both interesting and entertaining. taking your mind off any negative thoughts. its also said that to keep happy you need to enjoy your work. if you dont enjoy it youll feel locked into it and wont be very enfusiastic about it. and eventuly feel the need to escape from it. enjoying what you do will not only make you happy but others around you happy. reach for your dreams and goals at your own pace. "Life moves pretty fast. You don't stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it." every one knows this one. so what it was on tv, what isnt these days. i may have gone off subject slightly. anyway...

Keep it real and go for it what ever it may be. hope this helped some.

Hi Spike and Welcome to DF,

I can only say the same as the others have already explained and suggested. I do offer you my condolence on your loss, be kind to yourself, love yourself and love your children. If it is something that may make you feel better and help you deal with your anxiety and depression, maybe at a little at a time you could put together some sort of album in memory of your wife, maybe even writing a letter her even though she is gone and put down your feelings just as you are writing it to her to read. There are more ways but somethings are better done and said in the Bereavement.