I've been diagnosed with rapid-cycling bipolar NOS, but I'm scared I might have borderline personality disorder. The thing is, I've left out a couple important things when talking to my doctor, including an obsession with a guy. I met him a year and a half ago, and I spent all of grade 12 completely obsessed. I couldn't think about anything except him. I used to spend two or three hours on random websites, trying to figure out if he had an account on them. I'd figure out where he'd be in school, and try to arrange bumping in to him. I was so obsessed, I threw away my morals. I would have willingly let him cheat on his girlfriend with me, even though she was a nice girl, and I took drugs for the first time in my life because we were at a party and he was ignoring me.
I managed to get over him for the most part this year, because I was so far away from him, and we became quite close friends. Then he came to visit me for three days, and ended up telling me he loved me, and we sort of started dating. Then six weeks later, he told me he had only been confused, and that he didn't love me romantically, just as a friend. I started crying hysterically and stapling myself. I tried to convince him to stay with me, even if he didn't love me. I threatened suicide, because it's so hard to imagine life without him as my lover, even if we were only together for that long. I found out he hasn't really gotten over his girlfriend of a few years ago (his first love), so I've been stalking her via the website Nexopia, reading all of her blog entries for over a year, trying to figure out if she still loves him, too.
I haven't done anything really creepy or outlandish, but I'm worried, especially since my mood stablizer isn't working, that my moods cycle rapidly because of borderline personality disorder, not because of bipolar. Am I right to be worried about this, or is it normal for this to happen when you're young and depressed? I've got a bit of a stalker personality (I like to know everything about everyone), but I've never done this with any other person. Most guys who break my heart I've gotten over within weeks or a couple months. I've never obsessed this much.