i have bipolar and my daughter is showng the exact same signs i had as a child - mood flicks immediately, tantrums over nothing, gets upset bout nothing , gets hyper, cant sit still, is stealing, lying, gets agressive, says she wants to **** me (comes at me with knives etc), **** herself . She has been under psych at paedatric hospital and soon i hope we will have a meeting with both her psychs and my hubbys psychiatrist to discuss all of this. Im not sure if my psychiatrist will be there or my psychotherapist but at least something is happening. I would love to not see myself in her am i overreacting . i also have an autistic daughter as well, and my hubby has aspergers (autism high functioning ) and ocd and severe depression but this is being supressed at the moment who knows. We have very little support from all family members I just want something to happen becuase she is actually harder to tolerate than my autistic daughter . im not sure if i want her medicated but i dont know

any ideas :)

I totally understand your worry for your daughter. I worry the same for my daughter. It sounds like she's at least 7 or 8. Tantrums are a bit unusual for that age group or older. The hyperness, and inability to sit still could have other causes. Stealing is more indicative of 5 or 6 year-olds or older children who have more ability to use money -- so perhaps she's over 10? But that would depend on the type of community that you're in. Lying can be seen at any age and in almost all childern. I think you're probably referring to lying about things like homework and such. This is typical of children who know that it will get them out of something like punishment. The agressiveness from a female child, especially coming at you with knives or doing away with herself is very worrisome. I'm just looking at your whole post for what the behavior might mean if taken on it's own.
I'm unfamiliar with the health care system and terms in your country. I'm so happy that you've sought professional help for her!! It really sounds like it was needed. I'll be anxious to hear their conclusions and plan for her treatment. My guess would be that they might recommend some type of mood stabalizer or something to calm her outrageous behavior. I'll bet she's having problems at school also.
Don't worry about overreacting, you're her mother. You and her father have sought appropriate professional help for her. That's all you can do. Worry will get you no where (worry gets none of us anywhere).
If the professionals recommend medications, please ask them about side effects etc. but don't hesitate. You said that she is difficult to deal with. She has already threatened to do things with knives that you don't want to happen. Frankly, if I were you, I think I'd be hoping they put her on a medication that eased her symptoms.
Besides, imagine what she is feeling on the inside to be exhibiting these behaviors. Think back when you were that age and how you were feeling. Would you have liked to feel better? I bet she would.
Iowa

I should have stated she is 9, but this has been happenign for years but it is escalating. she behaves fine at school which is lucky. the tantrums are generally quite big and can happen at any moment.

when u say this about her to anyone they are like no not this child, only about 2 of my friends have seen her in full flight and like she is.

yes i definetely would have liked to felt better nad also felt noticed. i am making sure she has her quality time so that part is not affected, she does take on some responsiblity wiht our other daughter as me and my hubby have great difficulty gettng up in the morning thanks to our meds, so she helps out there.

i also grew up with a brother who had adhd and i rmember i had to do and always look out for him and find him when he would disappear.

it is hard and i just hope something happens. i know that our pyschs beleive and agreee that it is probably early bipolar but her drs are quite as sure

thanks

When you were young did you behave fine at school?
It's funny that she can manage herself when she's there. What do the psychs say about that?
If they are treating her then I doubt you're overreacting. I know how exhausting it can be to have a child with autism so if your daughter is harder to deal with than this, it does sound like there is something wrong.
I hope you find some strategies that can help you to deal with this productively.

PRT xx

yes i was good at school as well, my autistic daughter is severe to moderate and started talking at 6, her behaviour was always agressive and caused alot of problems with us all. she is now on risperidone and prozac which has calmed her a lot, i used to wera a back brace for 2 years, knee brace and wrist brace for when she used to attack which was bascially on a daily basis this is not happening now. also she is in care 2 days a week which helps us a lot

yes she can be more challenging than my autistic daughter and more verbal and much more sneaky

Children quickly learn what's acceptable and what isn't. They learn better how to behave "normally" when in the outside world. Just as we need a place and time to drop the masks of normalcy and be simply who we are and how we feel, they too need that. Unfortunately, because they are children, the only time and place for this is when they are at home with their families -- that's you.
I'm so glad that you sought help for her now, because the unacceptable behavior will continue to escalate. With her current aggression, that could bring serious harm to any or all of the rest of her family. It's great that you've thought about how you felt and are trying to give her what you felt you lacked. She must feel valued as she has an important role in waking people up in the mornings. Have you talked to her about her feelings about taking the responsibility for that as well as for maybe some responsibilities with her sister? Did you feel good about providing a useful service? She may feel the same or differently.
At nine, she should be able to fairly well verbalize what's going on in her mind. I certainly hope that she is sharing that with the doctors where she is! I don't know if I'd have told anyone the turmoil in my mind!
Again, I hope that her doctors put her on a medication that helps to normalize her moods. Perhaps after a few weeks your family can begin to find a place of peace!
Iowa

This post has been edited by iowa: May 27 2009, 12:11 AM

Yes i totally agree and i know that is why it always happens at home just the build up during the days. I know the behaviour will get worse and i dont want her to be a teenager like i was that would be not good , hence why i wanted this to be sorted or worked on before then. At the time i sometimes wanted the responsibility but now i hated them for making me do that, she is gettign better with accepting the sleep thing, and she istrying to earn money in every way possible. she had a psychotherapist that worked with her directly and they had their time each weekf or about 15 weeks but that was last year and there isnt a replacement for her at htem oment. she loved herso much and said she told her lots of things, she wouldnt repeat to me. i think she is saying some to them. i would hope something would happen i just cant wait till the meeting and wish i have a date now !!!!

(((((canarylegs))))))

It;s so frustrating waiting for these things to happen isn't it? It sounds like you're a great parent though and you're doing everything you can. It's so great that you understand what she's going through. Do you think any of her behaviours are copied from her sister?
I only ask because my nephew who has emotional difficulties, often copies things his younger brother does (who is disabled) as a way of gaining attention.

xx

some things she has but basically her behaviours are quite different as she know so much more than her sister

I'm bipolar and as a child was diagnosed wrong, over and over again til just a couple weeks ago and I am currently 20. I think the worst part about being bipolar when you are that age is not knowing what is going on. I wanted to **** myself, I did. I wanted to do things even more drastic, I tried. It was anything to not deal with the emotional pain I had. I'm hoping that your daughter hasn't actually done anything harm to herself yet, I know that didn't start for me til around 11.

Since you know what it is like, PLEASE, please, please be there for her. I know my mother was not very helpful through everything I went through as a child. I was hospitalized at 13 and after that any episode was a threat from my mother "I should just send you back!". Knowing that a parent had been through what I was going through would have helped a lot. Especially knowing that they understand not being able to control yourself, not being able to turn that switch off and saying very hurtful things to people we really don't mean to say them to.

But at the same time, remember that not EVERYTHING was because of bipolar, not everything is because of our cycles (i don't know if she has them yet, I started really young). She is going to be a teenager, emotional blips, boy problems, hormones, friend problems (girls were always horribly mean to me) problems in school... come with the territory. I know as a child and still to this day, school work was the most excruciating thing besides a tooth ache and kidney stones. She might as well struggle with that, keep on her about school work. She might "hate" you for it, but in the long run... it will be worth it. When she gets into the college she wants, in the program shes so hopefully looked forward to.

I only got diagnosed about 1 1/2 yrs ago and im now 34, ive always know there was something not right if that makes sense. i too started at about 11 with the self harm, i also suffered abuse from family friends (this i know hasnt happened to her ) i am there trying to do everythign for her as i dont want a repeat of me and my parents not knowing anything and walking on eggshells (this is h,appenign with my daughter now). she cycles but i would say very fast rapid cycling the same as i do, (at least mine goesa few days , weeks sometimes now) hers are minute/hourly/daily. She is doing good with school work and i did well at school too. She gets teased just like i did when i was child too. Girls are very horrible and put down a lot so we have problems on a daily basis with this issue. We'll see what happens :)

Thanks everyone for all your input it makes me feel not so alone as my hubby isnt too intersetd in much only when she steals etc

You need to make him interested. A girl needs her father to be in her life (mine wasn't unless I was having an extreme Manic ep. or an extreme Depressive ep) and that didn't help anything. MY cycles have been changing lately, but until my new meds, I was an extreme rapid cycler. I was good at school when I was very young, but once high school hit things started to get hard. Watch her, make sure she knows you are there for her... share some of your stories with her (maybe not horror stories all the time...) and how you got through things. Help her to learn now how to cope... I know that has been and still is my biggest problem. And keep her active, I danced for 13 years... my brother and sister did Tae Kwon Do and bowling. If she's active, it will give her an outlet to get some of the aggression out. A lot of young kids do well with soccer, they are running... kicking a ball as hard as they can... but it's more of a team sport than some that kids get in these days.

Ive been trying but it is hard. My father was there but no there if that makes sense the same with my mother. i had the high school thing as well seems we are quite alike . i have shared some stories with her and not horror ones really just ones to help her understand that she is not alone. She wont do sports as she might not win and she is horrific if she doesnt win as much as you try to tell her not. she goes go cycling each day and goes on the tramp each day as well. so that is about all of that she will do. the other problem for her is she is quite short and gets teased alot for being so tiny. she is 9 but about the sz of a 7 yo and they are always hasslingher bout it and she is never fast because of her little legs so that doesnt help

well u wouldnt believe it myself, hubbys psych and my psych all turned up and my daughters psych and psychotherapist didnt show as did my hubby (well that i knew as he cant be bothered with it appears his kids and their wellbeing). i cried and cried as i had to organise the kdis to be looked after and others so i was really pi**ed off at the kids pyschs they havent responded to emails or ph calls and i think it is actually disgusting .

all this time all i want is answers to our issues and it seems that there is a big wall being put up in front of us all

I am so disappointed in everything

:(

Hi Canarylegs

I am sorry that they have let you down. It is disgusting and very unprofessional.
It may be time to start finding new pdocs and therpists. There are ones that are good and won't do this.

Trace

its not quite taht easy here u get who u get, we cant afford private so we are in the public system. she is going to a new therapy centre soo so i am hoping that makes a big difference but it just feels like im just pushing at a wall. im emotinally and physically drained