Even when I'm having an "up" day and am out somewhere with my parter or my sister, my entire mood drops stone cold to the ground when I glimpse a beautiful woman. I instantly think people are comparing me to her and thinking I'm hideous compared to her, and I know I am. To see a woman so pretty is a sure-fire way to ensure I feel instantly worthless. I feel like NOTHING until I'm pretty and I know that I would have so much more confidence if I were beautiful.
I wonder how it works for them and even if I see a woman's back and her hair from the back, if she looks beautiful from the back I get so tempted to "stalk" her for a while until I can see if her face and front is just as beautiful. Sometimes I've even (as discreetly as possible!) tried to take pictures of such women in the street or at shopping centres on my phone. I'm so obsessed with trying to be beautiful but I think I was born scruffy. Even when I get myself made up and well-groomed, it doesn't seem to last long, wheras I see women with perfect hair and makeup all the time. I just wish I could be like that.
Just a pointless rant.

I'm exactly the same minus the taking pics lol.

I go out with my friends and feel like the ugly duckling, the ugly miserable duckling. I hate it so much. I don't go out with them that often but I've always felt like this around them and most people. I just feel so ugly and disgusting that no-one would look at me twice. I have no confidence either and am so envious of other people I see. I just keep wondering why life's so unfair. I wouldn't call any of my friends ugly, they are all so pretty in their own ways and I have nothing. I'm jealous of their hair, figure, make-up, clothes everything!!
Thought I would rant with you cos I know how it feels.


Claire

Aww Claire I really wish society didn't have to be so focused on looks sometimes, don't you? It's a crazy world.

Definitely!!! And everything in the magazines and on TV, it really puts such pressure on us. I was looking through my friends magazine the other day - blokes mag and all the women were so beautiful and had such nice bodies and I hate everything about mine. Its not good.

This is also how I feel - minus the taking pictures.

When I see a super pretty girl I get so fixated on her, trying so hard to find some flaws so I don't feel so ugly in comparison. I think, "well she must have some drawbacks physically, like the rest of us!", but alas, this rationalization does not help my mood any. My physical flaws far outnumber any physical flaws really pretty girls may have.

God, I resent how hard I have to work just to look decent, when some girls just have to roll out of bed since they require minimal effort.

This post has been edited by Ally424: Feb 9 2008, 02:18 PM

Always remember though violet, people are always more critical of themselves than other people are. It's just a fact; I do it, you do it, we all do it. I'll bet you are beautiful in your own way, and not cliche beautiful. That's a really good thing! Theses barbie dolls and hollywoodized "pretty" girls look good on the surface, but they're a dime a dozen. A lot of guys, myself included, are a lot more attracted to females that look uniquely attractive rather than stunningly gorgeous by cliche standards. Those "hollywood hotties", as I call them, do attract a lot of guys, but they're the kind of guys that are shallow and just looking for a good F k

Besides, looks are nothiing but a matter of genetic luck. You should feel you're worth a lot based on what you accomplish, how much you're willing to grow, and the good person that you are deep down.

This post has been edited by Gandalf_The_Grey: Feb 9 2008, 02:34 PM

i do that too, i hate beautiful people. whats worse, is they are all so confident and full of energy.
ive given up on trying to put makeup on, and make myself look nice, as soon as a pretty person walks past, i just feel so hideous that all i want to do is go home.
like ally, i try and find flaws in beautiful people, whether it be facially or personality wise, it helps me to realise that everyone has an 'ugly' side to them. what really gets to me sometimes is that these beautiful people sometimes appear perfect! but who knows, maybe they are looking at you thinking the exact same thing!


hope this helps somehow.

nat xx

I understand how you feel. I have always been a heavier person. I never looked at myself as beautiful. I have at times thought I had a cute face. But a car accident a few years took that away too. Look in our magazines and tv. Beautiful skinny people are what is hot. I think in some way we all want to be beaqutiful. We want to feel wanted and desired.

violet,
I am a Man, so I can't understand Women's problems with having to look beautiful. A happy Woman is attractive to me. Looks is only skin deep and there are plenty of sad beautiful people in the world. I have learned that being happy inside yourself, is powerful and it raises you up to another level. I replaced negative thoughts with positve actions. It's a lie that the world concieved, that to be rich and beautiful is the key to happiness.
Doug

violet!
being a woman takes a lot of work, spending hrs in the bathroom - i don't even do that everyday! don't let other women intimidate you! you are beautiful! it's the images the media is portraying to us - the perfect woman. most adds and pictures are photoshopped, most of the time it's one girl's head and another's body that they are cutting and pasting and shading. it's too much to live up to. those standards are killing our self images and confidence. don't fret about others! do something good for yourself every day - even if it's just a bubble bath or a new pair of shoes! you deserve them. every one is beautiful in their own way, we shouldn't have to compare ourself to model number 23 on page 6 size 0 etc etc etc. if you are comfortable with who you are, don't hide it! if you aren't then work on what you can and be happy!

Violet,

There is at least one person making those comparisons but that person is you. Maybe, and I'm guessing, it is the difference between being beautiful and feeling beautiful? If anyone can be made beautiful yet not understand themselves well enough to feel it, is there really a point?

Cheval

Guernica made a really good point. Even on days where people say I look okay, or good, I can't feel it.

I feel exactly the same, again, minus the trailing and pics. But it sends me into a downwards plummet every time I go out thinking I look okay, then see someone so pretty I just want to hide away.

I'm trying at the moment to overcome this, in amongst my other anxieties, but it is hard.

I hope you can find a way of resolving this

I feel exactly the same way, Violet. I get sooooo jealous of pretty women it sometimes makes me sick. Or when I see photos of myself when I was thinner and just feel disgusted at the way I am now. I hate it

Hmmmmmmmmmm...Veddy interesting. I seem to have the opposite problem to a certain extent. I am a naturally busty blonde not too terribly unattractive, let's say, and, women often don't even give me a chance! It's like they look at me and say, oh, she must be a slut or an idiot or, an idiotic slut. Truth is, I'm niether. I'm extremely analytical/cerebral and wholly committed to my husband of 14 years. I DO wear make-up daily and fix my hair, have even taken to wearing extensions at times as my hair is baby fine and won't grow past my shoulders, but, is that a reason to avoid or discount me as a human being? I'm VERY uncomfortable with my build, always have been...I can wear a simple tee shirt and jeans and look like walking porn, but, that is something I cannot help due to my genetic make-up. Oh, i've been on the other side of the coin as well, as a prepubescent child, I looked like a boy...my marine dad, i believe, wanted it that way...so, I got picked on a lot, spit on, and had my fair share of scrambles with the fellas. It's like, either way it goes, you can't win. BUT, I will say, i have never, NEVER looked at someone and deemed them too plain or unattractive to befreind, and yet, like I said, women tend to avoid me like the plague! Which is one of if not the determining factor in my social anxiety.

Just another angle to consider.

Be well.

~singnosadsongs

I'm not obese, I'm Rubenesque. Look at the pictures of women by Rubens and other renaissence artists.

I've always had big breasts and that can be so awful, cos I used to get verbal abuse from men and unwanted attention from others.

I'm beautiful in my own way, even though I couuld lose a lot of weight.

Each of us is beautiful in our own ways, we just need to learn to have the confidence to stand up and walk tall.

People always tell me im pretty or good lookin but I have been dealing with depression for almost 3 years now..looks don't make you happy...only you can make you happy.