I guess we're stronger than we think.  Somehow, we get through these things, but don't believe it's possible when it happens.  

Hello everyone.  I think I am doing this right.  I have been a member of a discussion forum and board before, and decided it was time to move on to another board.  I figured this topic was a good one for me.  I just graduated from college this past weekend.  I am continuing to work with a little boy with Asperger syndrome that I did my final internship with this past semester, two days a week.  I haven't worked in SO long.  Honestly, my last long-term job was when I was in high school.  Since my senior year of high school, somehow I have developed an innate fear of working  I'm not sure how it happened, or when it actually came on.  I keep telling myself that I just need a job where I am having fun like not sitting behind a counter waiting for time to pass, but now, I am afraid to work again.  I dread going to work for the two days a week that I have to go to work, and I have already turned down extra hours.  This is just part of my anxiety, but right now, I just don't know what to do.  I want to be able to work.  I'm tired of living off the government, but I am just SO scared of working, not that I don't want to, or I am not capable.  Maybe I'm still tired from all the extra effort I've put into school...but I know my depression is coming back, and I'm not quite sure what to do about it.

Anyhow, for all my hard work, I still feel like a failure.  I'll slowly fill in more about me when I can, and then I will post better updates.  I hope this all makes sense.

Thanks for listening-
Cosmic

Welcome to the room.  I think it's so interesting that our thoughts can turn into something so negative that we can't get on with our lives, don't you?

We look forward to having new members!      :welcomeani:

PainfullyShy,

Are you feeling any better?

Today was my first day working since graduation.  It was my first day facing the little boy's mother since I turned down extra hours.  I'm not feeling any better.  I'm starting to feel worse.  I don't want to go outside even though it's perfect walking weather.  I'm scared to be seen walking around town and stuff like that.  I moved at the beginning of April, but since I was finishing up school, didn't do much with my apartment.  Now I have time, but no energy.  I had to put three calls into my case manager before getting a call back just to request a different med doctor because I have no relationship with the one I go to after two years.  All other med doctors I have atleast felt confident telling what is going on in my life.  Whether or not I am more depressed, etc.  Not this one.  I have fallen through the cracks a lot.  I have been told before that I do not need specific services because I "look" fine.  Sometimes I hate that I am a strong fighter.

Getting out of bed in the morning is tough.  I like my apartment, I like being alone, because I don't have to worry about people.  I'm tired, I'm scared, I'm nervous.  I don't know what else I am.  I just know I want to cry.  I hate going out, because I'm afraid everyone is looking at me, analyzing me, talking about me.

Anyhow, enough for now.

~Cosmic~

Anxiety is a difficult thing to live with, but it sounds like your meds need to be reviewed.  One doesn't have to live like this in this time and age.  I hope you have better luck with the next doctor you get.  What meds are you currently taking?  

I have had some panic attacks over the last 20 years.  Although I havent had one in quite some time I have been left with high anxiety issues.  In the beginning of these problems my fear level was so high that I could barely walk out my door.  Through the years I have learned to mask the anxiety to a certain extent. It makes me sad as I remember the difference in feeling carefree and happy.  Once in a while I am able to get a mild tranquilizer from my doctor and I use these as a security blanket.  As long as I know that I have them available I feel safe , but even with them I limit how far I am willing to go from my home, the ammount of time I will have to be gone.  
brainstorm

I have found that for the last two years, taking antidepressant allows me the freedom to live as if the anxiety isn't a problem.  I can go whereever and drive and be in crowds, but the sexual side-effects...well, another story.   :(  I also would have difficulty with sleep. In other words, it's past using tranqs.  I get great results with my ad and other meds.  I also have a pain disorder and RLS.

I have ativan for short term relief, as I continue to go through some pretty difficult things.  I need 24/7 coverage with my current issues.

to the Anxiety Room!  We're glad to have you!

I am new to all this...I have never opened up to anyone let alone strangers...but I know that is part of my problem.

Tommorrow is my first day of official treatment for my anxiety and depression problems; I am finally going to see a specialist.  
I have been suffering from anxiety and depression for 17 years and I am now 19.  I never realized what the probelm was, but it was always me.  I had my first depressive episode when I was 3 or 4 years old.  My mother was probably about 21 at the time and my father walked out on me; needless to say I did not take it very well.  Since then my anxieties have driven me in life...until I got to college.  At first it was physical anxiety...I was afraid to go outside.  I was paranoid, afraid of sharp objects, silly really.  I began some medication with to help "take the edge off".  The doctor never checked to see if it would react with the Adderoll I was also currently taking.  One stupid night of partying and a hospital visit was my lesson learned.  I stopped taking the meds.  My axiety shifted.  It began impairing me.  My boyfriend of two years broke it off with me...it was not pretty...i began having panic and anxiety attacks, especially at school.  By the time my sophomore year came around, I knew the problem was serious.  I couldn't function, didn't go to class.  I was getting kicked out of my organizations, missing tests, and even got fired from work.  I couldn't see someone about it because my insurance wont cover me at school.  So this is the summer to change all that...we hope.  

That is a veryt blunt and abridged version of the past few years.  Obviously things are much more complicated.  But like I said, I am new at this and am not sure how this all works.  I never have had anyone really want to know what's going on in my life.  Most of my friends are aware of my problems, but don't know what I go through when I have my anxiety/panic attacks.  I break out in hives head to toe, cold sweats, black outs, intense crying, and even fits of laughter sometimes.  I can't even put into wording the feeling of total emptiness and void I feel.  Now that I am home for the summer, the pressure of school is no longer fueling my anxiety, but new things have added to the mix.  I am so lost, and confused, and just desperatly trying to scream out to anyone who will listen.  I feel like i am going to burst!

We're hear to listen to you, so you don't have to scream.  Just type away, and we'll listen to what you need to say.  I'm glad that you got in treatment and are away from the stress of college.  This had to be a very bad scene for you with everything going down the tubes, especially loosing the support of your boyfriend.  At least you found this place, where we understand how this illness can change your life to where you can only function if the 'conditions are right'.  I went through not being able to work or walk outside, and it was meds and a battle against the irrational thoughts for a couple of months.  Therapy is great for anxiety disorders, this helps teach one how to dispute the negative ideas that come with anxiety.  Put up a good fight!  We're listening and so glad you found us!    

                                                               Jackie    

Hi, this feels so foreign to me. I mean, I'm not used to really opening up about my anxiety to anyone outside my family - and even then I feel...embarrassed and somewhat ashamed. I've had anxiety for as long as I can remember. I've never been able to sleep by myself at night and staying home by myself leads me to hysteria. Everyday I am afraid and it makes me feel weak. I feel so dependent on everyone, especially my family. I'm always tugging onto them, begging them to stay near me.

But luckily, since February I've been seeing a psychologist. I'm not sure what kind of effect that this therapy has had on me but...I'm not sure whether it's working or not and I feel horrible for using my parents' money on me because of my problems. Therapy has made me more aware of my problem and understand it more but I don't feel that my anxiety has changed.

Anyways, I'm fifteen years old, female and I can't remember a time where I wasn't fearful of everything around me. I've had to break-up with every boyfriend that I've had simply because I was so scared. Of what? I've no idea but it's my anxiety. Whether it's any sort of commitment or relationship, my anxiety is always there to scare me away from doing things.

As for panic attacks...I used to have them nightly when I was about 10 to 12. I'd get nightmares every single night and have an attack when I woke up. Now, it's rare but every once in a while I'll start crying intensely, break out into a cold sweat and I feel like I can't move, no matter how hard I try.

My anxiety has also led to poor self image and confidence levels. I've delt with bulimia because of it as anxiety is a gateway to many other disorders.

I hate feeling like this.

Maybe seeing a psychiatrist would be a better option, as therapy does have it's limitations.  He might be able to give you some other options for treatment.  No one needs to suffer for years with these symptoms, FairyTale.  By the sounds of it, you might have a sleep disorder.....

Hi I'm Gloomy2
I suffer from major depression but also anxiety and panic attacks with it.  Since my depression has been worse I notice an increase in my level of anxiety as well and have been more prone to panic attacks as well. I loathe panic attacks-I can get so physically shaken by them I am immobilized and cannot catch my breath.  I tremble, cry non-stop, and cannot speak when I have a very bad attack. I also get chest pain which almost feels like a heart attack and is quite frightening.

Gloomy2

, Gloomy2!

I hate those buggers, too.  Does your meds take them away, or are you having this on meds?  I finally got my doc to medicate me for this  after the 4th office visit a couple of years ago, and haven't had one since.  It can be done, otherwise I'd not be able to leave the house, no kidding...  Life sure has it's moments, and I'm going through a pile of stress that doesn't quit.  

Hi jkm,
Thanks for the welcome!
I have been on Cymbalta for months and am being tapered off of it while starting Effexor ER because I felt the Cymbalta wasn't helping enough.  I am wondering if it exacerbated my anxiety because I am now finding out that is a side effect of Cymbalta that a lot of people seem to have.  I don't remember getting this many panic attacks either.  It was a once in a blue moon thing.  I am hoping the new med helps but I also will see a new P-doc in a few weeks and may need something in addition to help with the anxiety.  I know they are awful.  I'm glad your meds help you!

Gloomy2

Ha!  I'm on Cymbalta and am currently using a little ativan at night so I can sleep.  You know, the more stress is piled on, the more you need meds to get through a day.  I currently refinancing and was told that the agency I've worked at for 27 yrs. is closing.  I have no idea how long this job will last, so Here I Sit.  Other jobs in the same field are hiring at about $5,ooo. a year less, so i'm thinking about switching into something new.  Who says an old dog can't learn old tricks?  The only problems is, there are so few jobs on the market.  Lots of people I know are going through some kind of melt-down.  It's kinda scarey.  At least we're in treatment.    :inlove:

I'm a new member.  I have a long history of depression.  I believe that the anxiety goes hand and hand with the depression.  

I'm very concerned about my anxiety.  It's about to cost me my  new job.  My problem is that I tend to send out a lot of energy;  when I'm happy, people around me smile  - and when I'm anxious (quite frequently dealing with people), I tend to intimidate them with my intensity. I sometimes glare when I make eye contact - I just can't seem to help it sometimes.  

They say the eyes are 'windows to the soul'.

I've had depression without anxiety one time, and this time I have it all, but meds can control both, so I'm feeling and functioning much better.

If you are aware that you tend too glare at people and get too intense, maybe you can work on this by looking in a mirror and work on relaxing.  (Deep breathing is one of the most common forms of relaxation exercises there is..  You breathe through your nose deeply, hold if for about 10 seconds and repeat.  About ten times a couple of times a day works will for me.)  Hope you work this out.

    to the Anxiety and Panic Room!      

Hi, my name is Gavin.

I was diagnosed with anticipary anxiety and depression last year. Somehow I wasn't surprised when I was told I had anxiety. It seemed "right" that I had anxiety all these years as far back as my early teens. Of course I have anxiety! It was so obvious! It makes sense to me now about my behaviour and character while I was growing up. I wish I knew about it a lot sooner. It may have changed my outlook and current station in life. As for my depression - it was brought on fairly recently (within the last 5 years) when I went cold turkey from recreational & party drugs (which I have now kicked) and the death of my son (2 years ago).

I have many questions which I hope to find answers to within this forum. As this particular thread is related to anxiety, I will stay on-topic with this question....

Is it normal to have an anxiety disorder (in my case anticipary) and not know? I've always been shy, and being liked by everyone seemed to be important to me. I'm usually nervous about new things and get lumps in my throat and tightness in my chest during stressfull situations. I was also a very angry and aggressive teen. Are these symptoms which should've been but were never noticed? I have always felt that something was not quite right with me but over time I had gotten used to it. I believe that it was simply my nature. As an adult I am no longer shy but I still get nervous and being liked is still an issue although not important.

I'm glad I found this site!
Cheers!
G.

Anxiety  forms over the years, and can be traced to family members, so most think it's a genetic and learned disorder.

With your stressors, it probably came to a head.  It's possible that the recreation drug use may have been an attempt to self medicate, and increased the chemical change that happens with depression.  Some studies will tell you that anxiety and depression are hand in hand, and to treat the anxiety, one must treat the depression.

What kind of meds are you taking?

Hi Jkm,

My therapist suggested that I try Lexapro but I'm still a little hesitant. I don't feel right about combating my chemical-induced affliction with more chemicals. Maybe this is another form of avoidance - I don't know. There's just so many s***e thoughts flying through my head. I don't know what or how to think.

Having been assessed with anxiety, the diagnosis "feels" right to me. It was as if I knew all along but couldn't quite put my finger on it. My depression somehow crept up on me. I don't really know if it came before my drug indulgent period, or whether it was brought on during my effort to kick the habit (the depression was very prominent from 6 months on after I stopped taking the drugs.) Or maybe I've had it all the time and had steadily gotten worst with time. I can't put a time frame on it. It just seems to have always been there within me. It is certain however, that it was made even worst when my son died.

I feel decrepit - like a half-person - not whole. I can't get my thoughts and emotions in order. I'm really tired and frustrated.

I'm so sorry to hear that you have lost a son.

I went through a similar experience when I lost a daughter after birth.  I didn't think I'd be able to deal with it, and it really made me miserable for many years. My Dad died in Dec., and it really shook me up, too.   Seeems like once I was depresses, whenever I got stressed out, it increased it or the anxiety kicked in big time. I just went through menopause, so I'm sure it took a toll on my system, too.

I understnd your hesitancy to go on meds.  I struggled for about 6mo., with not being able to stay asleep, and then went into a panic disorder with clinical depression.  I now wish that I wouldn't have waited so long, as it kept getting worse, no matter what I did.

I recently lost my job of 27yrs., due the agency filing bankruptcy and a host of unresolved isues which resulted in loss of funding.  That's been a major kick in the head with three children and no benefits.  That, along with stopping smoking has had me off any kind of schedule, and trying to keep up with my family, has been difficult. They're all very supportive, but I don't really burden them with what's going on in my head, either. I worry about this all the time, and fret about spending any money, although at the present time, things are running well.

My doc has been very good to me, and is now just interested in maintaining me at the present level, as I can work, feeling like I do. I recently stopped taking an anxiety med and don't want to go back on it, as it's addictive.  If I continue to not be able to sleep, I may have to..

It's a struggle, however one looks at it.  Anxiety and depression usually go hand in had.  Maybe if you talk to others about their medication experiences and look in the med rooms, you can get an idea of how meds can effectively help with these disorders!  

Hello everyone.

I've been suffering from depression and extreme anxiety for nearly the past 3 years. I've been seeing a cognitive therapist for almost as long and made some progress. I think I would have benefitted a great deal from medication, but now that I've gotten to the point where I can actually see what the problem is, and work toward taking steps to heal myself, I'm debating whether it's worth it to start now. Sometimes I get very frustrated with the pace of recovery but I've only been actively working on reducing my anxiety for 6 weeks or so. With the ramp up time for effective dosage on meds, and the likelihood of having to try several different kinds, the potential side effects, etc. I'm really on the fence about it all.

It would depend on the benefits you are looking for with meds. What kind of symptoms are you trying to reduce?

Mostly just the "dead" way I feel. No emotional response to things, not enjoying anything, feeling strange and not myself. I think those are all depression related symptoms. I wonder how I would feel and think about things if my brain chemistry was balanced. The imbalance is a handicap which keeps me from thinking clearly and progressing as quicky as I'd like to. After 3 years of this I'd so like to feel like myself again. Then again maybe the key is to just relax and realize that I have made progress and to savor the precious moments when I do connect with the world and feel like myself again, because they are there now sometimes, and weren't for a long time.

This post has been edited by NoFun: Oct 13 2005, 03:56 PM

I was so wired up with anxiety, and could not sleep. I was so upset, I cried at the doc's, but this was different, as I wasn't able to release any of my emotions. My concentration was ziltch. What a Mess.

Meds usually have some start up effects that you have to be willing to put up with, and it really takes 4-8 weeks for one to feel the whole effect of the medication. Some people can't hang in there, and give up after a couple of weeks. I guess we're mostly thinking about meds like antibiotices, that help you feel better in a couple of days. Sometimes the doc will give you something for anxiety untill the meds kick in, and it will help you get through the start-up. Normal start-up effects are headache, stomach ache, feeling tired, having a dry mouth. Not easy to tolerate if you're already depressed.... I wish it was different, but I'm not into telling stories.

On the up side, most people will tell you that they notice they aren't all focused on whatever they were stuck on before meds, sleep better, eat better, think clearer and feel calmer.

Whatever you decide to do, I know that "flat" feeling you were talking about. I went through that and meds DID take it away. They call if a 'flat affect', because if you look at or talk to a person who is depressed, you see no expression. I felt like my emotions took a trip, while I had it, and it was miserable. Almost like I couldn't get the picture that other people were looking at. All I felt was sad and miserable. No way for anyone to feel, as you miss too much. I avoided people when I went through this, as I didn't want them to see it, for fear that they would know that something was going on, as I'm usually a self-starter and motivate other people to do things. I guess I ran out of gas.

Take care, Jackie

I'm just stopping in to introduce myself here as well. My name is Cynthia and I hail from the Chicagoland area. The name "Celanna" is actually an old chat room name from college that has stuck with me to the point that I use it for almost everything on the internet now. Creature of habit I guess.

I suffer from both acute anxiety and bi-polar. I was diagnosed with both after my Crohn's disease was finally gotten under control and doctors realized that the mental difficulties I was experiencing were NOT just byproducts of battling a chronic illness.

While my bi-polar is for the most part managed by medication, my anxiety much of the time seems to rule my life. It's forced me to look for alternate work environments because the smallest stress or inconsistency at a regular office would have me in the bathroom either fighting my Crohn's because I got upset (Crohn's can be a painful GI illness that can get kicked up by stress causing very severe cramping), or fighting both the Crohn's and bawling my eyes out and barely able to breathe because of an anxiety attack. I'm fortunate that I now work from home, and while it's certainly lessened many stresses, it's added some different ones as of course now my pay isn't constant, and I have to juggle working around being a parent.

My doctor's encouraged me to try and find a support group for the anxiety in particular because more so than the bi-polar it is slowly ruining my life. Unfortunately no such groups exist in my area, hence why I managed to come across these forums. I'm hoping that being here might help. I've got half the battle won so to speak with the bi-polar controlled. But I don't want to keep taking more and more pills and my anxiety is controlling ME not the other way around!

Thanks for letting me rant...
Cynthia

I fought anxiety for about 7mo. until it was under control enough to get off the addictive stuff. I have two teenagers and a 10yr. old and lost my job of 27yrs due to the agency going out of business.

I'm puttering around the house and trying to clean it out from 15yrs. of children, if you know what i mean. They come in right behind me and clutter it up with their junk. It's a constant battle. How you work at home and get anything done is beyond me. I have constant disruption from the time they walk in the door, and it's always "I need.." or having to go somewhere. I can't afford to be anxious and it's a constant battle to remember all the things and when to do them. It drives me and my oldest daughter tells me I'm irritable if I get upset about always having to do this and do that. My husband appreciates a clean house, clean clothes and the tons of home made food, but tells me we can't afford for me to be on unemployment. No kidding!! I'm going out Monday and putting in applications whereever they have something I can do, as long as they have benefits. This housewife thing is driving me up a wall. I don't know how I did this when I worked, and I'm tired of spending my day washing clothes and running all over tarnation.

Sorry I loaded off, but i know how it can get to you. Some days, I'm afraid towrite a check, although the money is in the bank. I worry about my family constantly for no reason at all. I imagine all kinds of stupid things happening, and get upset for no reason.

Anxiety is a horrible illness to deal with. It really messes with my sleep and appetite.

Have you been in therapy to learn how to deal with the irrational ideas it produces? There are lots of coping skills one can learn that will help.

I'm so glad you came here. I need someone to talk to, too!

Hello
I am new to this chat site as well. I have been suffering with anxiety for a while now and seem to have no friends. Well I could have had friends but my anxiety got in the way until they all gave up on me ever going out with them.
Last year I moved house and that has made matters worse as now I know no-one. I was temping for a while and met a lot of nice people, but after 7 months there I suffered a breakdown as I just felt I couldn't cope or work there anymore. Temping was ok until I was offered jobs I really couldn't do like a mixture of office work and making tea for everyone. I don't want to be making tea.

Last week the ideal job came up and I was what I thought was happy but I was just hiding my sadness underneath. I got told off for doing something wrong and it has now gone out of control. I just can't cope. What happens if I go back? What will they say? Everything is going through my head and I got that worked up I made myself sick.

I wish I'd never moved HELP

This post has been edited by coakster: Oct 25 2005, 06:17 AM

A normal part of working is being able to tolerate getting 'told off' and having supervisors correct you, so I think it might be something you need to deal with. I know it feels like you are being criticized, but that's how they get you to work the job how they want.

Hopefully, you can hold your head up and go back to your job. It sounds like you are in your first apt., and I know it's scarey when you make all these stressful changes at once. (New apt., new job) You might want to try to adjust to doing what you need to do keep things going.

As for excess anxiety, you may want to try deepbreathing your way out of feeling stressed. You inhale deeply through your mouth to the bottom of your lungs and hold it for about 5 second and exhale slowly and deeply. Do this in a very relaxed fashion. About 5 deep breaths, and you may feel light headed, so be sure you are sitting down when you try this. You need to find out how your system tolerates this, so start out with only five. Chances are your body won't be used to this, as we all tend to breathe from the top of our lungs when we get stressed out, and it makes us feel like we aren't getting enough oxygen, which is probably true.

Oh! to the Anxiety Room!

Jackie

Some people like to listen to relaxation tapes, too. You can usually get them at the library, and it's nice to be able to listen to them before you buy any. Some are sounds of water, and some are just relaxing music. Some tell you what to do to relax, like tightening different muscle groups, then releasing them, so bborrow a couple and see what you prefer.

Exercise is a great way to burn off anxiety, too. Going for a brisks walk at lunch time at work may be the thing to put all the stress behind you and clear your thoughts.

Usually when we get stressed, we start having negative thoughts that tell us we can't perforum, although we rationally know we can. Try to identify these negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones.

Let me know how you do with these exercises. I've been plagued with stress for many years, and if you can't get it under control on your own, you may want to see your doc and see if they think you need meds or therapy.

This post has been edited by Jkm: Oct 25 2005, 06:30 AM

Hi all,

I've been hanging around DF for a while now and I thought it was time to pay the anxiety room a visit.

Today I was once again confronted with the fact that there's still so much fear in me. Especially the fear of failing or not being able to live up to other people's expectations. Or better, what I THINK I should live up to. Being a perfectionist that's one hell of a job. 'Cos it's never good enough, right?

In therapy we were discussing "anxiety" today. How convenient
I've been on an emotional rollercoaster this week and I'm pretty exhausted. My body aches all over. The anxiety has something to do with that too ofcourse. It just feels like someone punched me in the chest.

During the afternoon group session things were a bit too much for me. I've been working pretty intensively in therapy these last few weeks.
Because it is so hard for me to get in touch with my own emotions, I've been journalling a lot too. So now all the subdued emotions are starting to surface. It made me panic today. I felt overwhelmed. I was once again paralysed by fear. I think that hearing others talk about their anxiety scared me even more because it sounded so familiar.
I've come to realize that I've been missing out on so much because of my anxiety and it hits me pretty hard.
The good thing is I can work on it now but that doesn't take away the fact that it hurts badly at the moment .

Anywayz, I just needed to share this with someone. Thanks for reading.

Luv,
- Autumn

I always smile when I see the new commercial about depression hurting, because I have that kind and find myself tense all the time. I try to relax, but I'm really carrying a load of muscle aches all the time. I wake up with knots in my shoulders and usually a sore jaw and headache.

Take it easy while getting in touch with your feelings. You seems to be under a lot of anxiety right now. What are you planning to do to get rid of it? Walking or something physical might help. I do lots of stretching exercises and that helps some. I really could benefit from some kind of water exercise, but can't motivate to join anything. With the cold weather coming, I really have a difficult time motivating. I think I'll just bake some peanut butter cookies, lol!

I bake all the time to help take my mind off my irrational ideas and read lots of books. This idea that you have to be perfect is a good example of an irrational idea. I gave that up after the second child. I used to be the perfect housekeeper, and now, it's rather normal looking at my house. I can't keep up after four people, so I don't even try it. I'd rather spend time with my kids than miss out because I was too busy cleaning something or ironing clothes. They keep me sane and laughing. Always sharing something that's going on with them. Anyhow, life is not perfect, so why need you try. Just relax, it doesn't go away...

On the other hand, people really don't live up to my expectations, so why should I worry about them? I figure we have just enough to live up to our own. If they like me, that's great. If they don't, so what? There are people I don't like, either. I just try to get along with everyone. It doesn't mean I like them. As long as you show respect for others, I wouldn't worry about living up to their expectations. They probably set them too high, anyhow so they don't have to focus on their own life. I have to much going on to worry about 'them', anyhow.

Thanks for the reply Jackie

Indeed, it's pretty irrational trying to be perfect or trying to live up to what I think others expect of me. Hehe, it makes a lot of sense when you say it .
I realize I'm pretty hard on myself. Even when I'm given an 'assignment' in therapy and there is really no pressure to it, I freak out anyway. Then I just sit there staring at my white page and every minute I get more and more tense. I can't think anymore and all I really want to do is get up and leave. But I can't even do that because I'm afraid people will get angry with me. It sounds so absurd but at a moment like that I'm really paralysed .

About the muscle aches. Well, I've got relaxation included in my therapy program. Thank goodness. It helps a bit. And I've got a dog so we go for a walk regularly.
I used to read a lot of books to get my mind of things but these days I'm really lacking the concentration to do that. A while ago I went swimming once a week. But like you I can't really bring myself to it now. I'm having a hard time motivating too.
But I'll see in a few weeks if I can do some sports again. I'll try to.
Right now I feel like I need the rest...

Wow, I can imagine you're pretty busy cleaning up after four people. Guess keeping that house super clean is insane indeed! I'm glad you're not stressing out too much about that anymore.
I'm sorry to hear you've lost your job. My mum had the same thing going on a few years ago. I really hope you'll find something you like and that isn't too demanding of you!

Take care!

Autumn

Thanks for the support, Autumn! You're a wonderful person to have on board!

hi im donna-marie suffering with social anxiety and having rough time doing a simple thing like take my child to school and picking him up finding it really hard :verysad3:

Hey hey Donna-Marie, there you are already!
I hope you feel a bit comfortable around here! Take care!

Jackie, thanks for your kind words


Luv,
Autumn

hi everyone its great to have found a web site which has like minded members i am cathy from the uk and have suffered with depression and anxiety /panic attacks for almost four years now and its been and still is a long hard struggle but day by day little by little i am getting there!
i have got to a stage in my recovery where i wanted to put how I feel on the web and after chatting to a fellow suffer I decided to make a web site (yes I did it!! ) with no comp know how at all well a little I slowly built it and called it 101 in 1001...the idea is that i have set myself a small target..101 things I am trying to do in 1001 days.. the web site is...
http://101in1001.tripod.com/ please check it out and leave comments in my guestbook

keep up this wonderful site
cathy xx

This post has been edited by cathy26: Nov 14 2005, 05:16 PM

I really like the webpage, but will have to take some time to read it, cathy26!

to the Forums.

Maybe you can find some time to tell us how this progresses for you!

hey everyone im lisa from croydon, surrey, uk . im 27 years old and have been suffering from anxiety, depersonlisation, deralisation, panic attacks and depression ( the depression when i were 15) since i were 6 years old.
yes its a long time isnt it but the reason for that is cos i have been misdiagnosed so many times even told im an attention seeker when i were a child when really i was freaking out having dp/dr attacks this made me feel i was going crazy and scared me more its only recently really i have fully understood my problem!!!!

my attacks and depression have got worse again and ive gone down hill this last month alone. im a single mum and i have two boys callum who is 7 and ben who is 3 ( ben does not live with me and i have not seen him in over 2 years as i had a breakdown and bens dad thinks im crazy and a unfit mum).
so its just me and callum although i also met a man recently but he is in the army so i dont get to see him that much . he is very understanding and supportive though so i am lucky really .

when my son is at school its just me , myself and i
the doctors have put me on prozac i have been on it 4 days now and just waiting for it to kick in as i cant see a difference if anything its freakin me out more !!! so here i am sat at my computer hoping to find comfort someway !!!! i will look forward to meeting all you peeps untill then take care

awwwww i love spongebeb lol !!! he he

to the forum and the Anxiety Room, Lisa! We're glad to have new members.