hiya all,

I'm a mother of 3 boys, 4 if you count my fiace....lol i do...my oldest son was diagnosed back in april w/bipolar after attempting suicide. then in june they added asperger syndrome to the mix. So many people tell me they are sorry, but i am not......for years doctors kept saying he was adhd and emotionally disturbed......he was soooo smart but couldn't do school work (always failing) and never had any friends at least not for long and his self esteem was nonexistent.....I see this as a breakthrough.......he is finally getting the help he needs.......He just got his first report card for this school year STRAIGHT A's I'm soooo proud He's still working on his social skills, but definatley doing much better. People i talk to say he's a completely different kid, but i know better, he's the same kid he always was inside....now he's just not afraid to let it come out I've really wanted to reward him for all his hard work, but right now times are very tough, my fiace is also bipolar and has been in a deep depression since October.......was in the hospital until just this past Thursday. Doctor's were having trouble finding right med mix........but it's baby steps......since he's been home he's done nothing but sleep and my oldest son is really worried about him......his real father doesn't bother......my son said my fiance is his dad and he needs him and loves him, and asks why isn't he getting better. I'm afraid for my fiance, but also i'm afraid for my son they have really bonded since all of this happened and if it all goes south.......my son will go south too

momx3boys

mom, sorry I didn't respond to this sooner. As I think you know from other areas of DF, we try not to let any posts sit for long without a response...sorry this one got by me.

I hope that if there are other parents of bipoalr children they will find this post and share their story as well.

Your son getting straight A's must have been so joyous to you and your son. What a boost for his self esteem

His teacher was probably pleasantly surprised also!

How old is he?

wow congrats to your son on straight As!! what a fighter!! i recently read a completely fascinating book written by a woman with autism (more severe deficits than aspberger's but similar). She basically wrote about her life and what it was like to live inside her mind and try and adapt to a society which had such different 'rules' and ways of life.

"Nobody Nowhere" by Donna Williams

<3laura

Not a problem jilli........I've been distracted by my fiance's problems recently myself.......my son w/asperger's and bipolar just turned 13yrs old the day after Christmas........the school he went to last year was terrible......so many problems that i wasn't being told about and he was getting suspended left and right just for defending himself.........we had meetings and all kinds of stuff......but he only had the diagnosis of adhd so his IEP only had need for some emotional support......which I knew wasn't enough.......he had never worked to his potential , just like being trapped inside himself and I'm the only one who really saw him for how smart and sweet he really was....I just watched him get more and more frustrated.....then he said to me one day which would be quicker , jumping out my window or taking a bottle of pills........I truley wasn't sure how to handle that empty threaght or not.......till his parent teacher conference and I finally got to meet his teachers......all 4 of them.......his homeroom teacher was worthless (i used to call and she never returned my calls) she just said he sat and did nothing in her class......other 2 teachers said mostly same, but his science teacher told me about him withdrawing and she had to talk him into changing from class to class.......she said she was very worried........afraid he was going to self destruct one day........he wouldn't do anything at all in school.........I had requested 2 conferences and this was the first one I had gotten it was April the day before the kids spring break.......we had moved to that school district at the begining of the school year and he always had problems.......but he was hitting puberty and all these changes and I kept trying to figure out what i was doing wrong.......well after that meeting I knew what he told me was not an empty threaght.....It killed me to know my baby wanted to die.........I called my fiance's mother, she works for a hospital and she told me to call crisis and even took us over.......after talking with us seprately the doctor admitted him right away........ he spent 10 days on suicide watch......right through Easter..........I felt sooo guilty .........looking back it was the best thing I ever did for him...... Some one finally found out what was going on in his head........first they took care of the bipolar......getting stable on meds took a couple of months.....I hated seeing him all dopey.....Then he was referred to a doctor who instantly said asperger's and insisted I find another doctor to confirm......she then referred him to all these great programs and It's been up up up from there ......and in only 9 months he's gone from the whole world hates me to......I'm smart and different and it's ok but the night he went into crisis is when my fiance's problems began to surface......so it's been a tough 9months

I will definatley check that book out tytytytyty

momx3boys

when you do read it, let us know what you think!!!! it is incredible insight to minds that work so differently!! i wouldnt be surprised if the author was also bipolar, she had quite the mood swings.

<3

you know that's funny my son......by the way his name is Josh is also writing a book, but It's an adventure book about abunch of his friends and defeating satan and the many stages of hell.......so far it's really cool.......He has a wild imagination but always sides with the good guys........he's not ur tipical cool, but I think he's very cool in an intellectual way I can't wait till he finishes......I get the first copy he said......


momx3boys

ps I'll have to read that other book with him

Your son sounds so cool!
I love the intellectual types...tell him he'll get all the great girls :wink:

This post has been edited by jillivinilly: Jan 5 2007, 03:13 PM

lol he gave this look lol.........but that's how his biological father got me......lol and he also looks just like him
very hansome........looks and brains what a combo.......he just got home and said he had a bad day........but after a snack he can play his final fantasy 12 game so that will make him feel better


momx3boys

mom, your son sounds awesome! :)Like mine:)I'm so glad to hear he's going so much better!!!!!!! My son is 11. He is also very imaginative and writes adventure stories a lot like what you describe Josh writes. He's into the good vs. evil stuff and unusual funny things too-he cracks me up all the time.
I used to work as an instructional therapist using programs for children with Autism. Some really cool kids for sure. I don't know much at all about Asperger's but that it is on the same spectrum as ADD and Autism. I'm very curious now.
A couple of times this last year my son said he knew how he wanted to kill himself. So scary to hear, isn't it? We listened to him closely and have worked a little on things since about 1st grade to help him when something first seemed 'not right'. School and psych testing. Found anxiety to be the main issue. We worked on that and seems much better. He would feel so bad about himself when he was failing school. Then straight A's , then ...back and forth, I don't mind if he doesn't get great grades, just like you I want him to feel ok with himself. He seems ok right now. Still don't know what the underlying problem is. He is very sensitive. Had taken ADD meds, sometimes seeming to do better with, sometimes better without them. At times speratic moods, confusing, so hard to tell what is going on. Seems plain happy and well adjusted most of the time. But especially when he is out of his element or transitioning things turn so bad, he gets so stressed and angry but I think much of what he expresses is so normal to feel. Mental illness runs in our family so... (I was diagnosed w/ anxiety, bipolar, and more, don't know what to believe)

Anyway, sorry so long about us, just wanted to share some maybe similar experiences.
But again, so glad things are going well for your son. How are YOU doing? You seem like a very strong and positive person but I hope you are getting what you need. Take care, mom. Rooting for you and for your fiance and the boys!!!

your son does sound like an awesome person.. if he were in my class as a kid, i probably would have wanted to be his friend =).

i was internet surfing (why i get NOTHING done) and came upon a live journal support group for those with aspergers. maybe he would like to communicate with others with aspergers?
i will PM you with the link.. i just totally forgot that i cant post links ;)

I'll have to tell him that, because the poor kid doesn't have any friends.......it's a shame he tries so hard, but just doesn't fit in......he is sooo into details about the things he likes that it overwhelms the other kids and he is such a straight arrow that if some one cheats or tries to decieve him he gets so offended. I told him as he gets older and meet alot more people he will find friends , people who will appreciate and like him just the way he is, I also told him that we all make mistakes and want people to like us, but it's ok to be wrong some times, that's how we learn.....

momx3boys

I didn't really get "popular" until I was in 7th grade, but a lot of times popularity means you have to sell out to your peers so you fit in. After a few years of playing this game I decided to be myself and that was much easier but also more honest to me. However, I kinda withdrew too much and that too can be a problem since it makes it harder to leave that self imposed shell of artificial security.

My nephew is 5 and diagnosed with Autism-possibly Aspergers (parents are geniuses-typical of this) and as gets older I am starting to understand what it means. He has minor symptoms but there is something there.

I too am extremely sensitive and am currently seeking help for whatever is wrong with me. I know I fit all the symptoms for ADD/anxiety, but for the longest time I thought that was a sham and most illnesses could be self diagnosed........yeah right! I joined this forum today and hope it helps....at least I can comment on other comments, idunno.....looking forward to counseling next week, see what happens. Is there anyone who is perfect, or are we all making the pharmaindustrial complex rich?

Do you play music in the house? It's very relaxing, proven to reduces stress, and good for ADD since silence can be unbearable. I hope things only get better for you and your family!

Welcome to the forum, we look forward to hearing more from you. I hope that the counseling session goes well for you.

You're so right about popularity. Started to write about my children, but now can't figure out what it was that I wanted to say. Guess mostly, it is that they did what they felt was right, not what was needed to fit in. The two older ones were good in sports and that was their out, the youngest one was as well, but suffered a serious injury which ended that.

I hope that you wander around, and make yourself at home. Welcome. deb