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My history with depression, any help???
I am a 28 year old guy and have been living with the illness for eight years now. The early years were a real struggle, as they are for everybody, because I really didn't understand what was going wrong with me. A few years of trying out different prescriptions until I found the "right" anti-depressant, coupled with finding the "right" therapy helped me overcome the deep rut that I was in. Although I am currently living and coping with the illness, I am now determined to be truly free of depression and I welcome any suggestions. My real problem is numbness. Unfortunately the antidepressants (Effexor XL) can't be blamed because when I last relapsed (2 years ago) I had been off the Effexor for 6 months and my main complaint at that time was numbness. Although the medication does work well by keeping the physical symptoms of depression at bay (by physical I mean loss of appetite, insomnia, lack of concentration, panic attacks, nausea etc. etc.), there doesn't appear to be any means, or medication, that can induce "feeling".

I have tried many forms of therapy; Psychotherapy, Hypnosis, Homeopathy, Group-Talk Therapy and various forms of individual counselling. Some of which I really benefited from. However, I'm not sure that there is any other counselling out there that could tell me anything that I don't already know (and adopt into my daily life).

I used to lead a very unhealthy lifestyle (which obviously didn't help in my fight to beat depression) but have since turned this around (to an almost cathartic extent). I no longer smoke, drink or take drugs. I eat well and keep very fit with a strict weekly work-out routine.

I have also had my blood tested in an effort to find a more sinister physical problem and the depression being a secondary result, but nothing showed up!

I practice cognitive behavioural thinking and have a very positive mental attitude. I also talk openly and frequently with friends and family all of whom are very supportive and as empathetic as they can be.

I enjoy my job and have many extra-curricular activities which keep my brain occupied and entertained.

However the numbness is still always always there!

Any suggestions would be very welcomed.

Many thanks,

Rob

Hi Rob77, I also take Effexor, but along with Lamictal and Wellbutrin. The worst thing I've heard about Effexor is it is next to impossible to wean yourself off of it altogether. Some people have gone down to 37.5mgs and went cold turkey but it's very difficyult. My brother was one of those people. I take 300mgs a day. My problem is I get used to a certain dose and it doesn't work anymore then they increase the dosage..when I've reached the maximummgs then it's time to find another pill. To be quite honest I have never taken Effexor by itself, I always had a mood-stabilizer (I'm bipolar 2 but I stay at the depressed end). But you know, I don't feel much. When I have problems like everyone else, I wonder to myself "what next" and stumble my way thru them. Things just wash right over me. But I often wonder, while all this medication keeps me from feeling the negative things, it's also keeping me from feeling the good things. Is this what you mean? It seems a way of life for me just to drift along, I can't remember the last time I had actual feelings and enjoyed the normal things of life. But I do remember feeling everything all at once, to the point where I couldn't find any peace of mind, it seemed like I felt other people's sorrow, happiness and it was driving me crazy. Now my mind is peaceful. Guess I can't have my cake and eat it too.....I hope you feel able to cope soon. Sometimes when you have side-effects that are unacceptable to you, the doctor will try another medication which you can live with. All this stuff is trial and error until they find the right pill that you can live with....Moiraine :rose:

Rob, Are you talking about an emotional numbness or a physical numbness?

KA

PS Rob77 I forgot to add that I admire the fact that you are taking such good care of yourself, as well as all the therapy you have been thru. I'll tell you, you have that going for you that you feel ambitious enough and motivated to do these things. Often, depressed people can't find the motivation, or concentration enough to lose weight and exercise, as well as getting along with people. You have a lot going for you!......Moiraine :rose:

Is the numbness a feeling in your head/body, or is it an emotional numbness?
My advice is the worst thing to do is to obsess and worry about it, otherwise it will only disrupt your very good progress.
Very well done.

Hi Moiraine,

Many thanks for responding to my post. Since the time of my original post (Jan of this year), I have actually come off Effexor altogether. I had been decreasing the dosage gradually because I wanted to be rid of antidepressants but also because I suffered from some of the side effects quite badly (only in the last year of taking the drug for some reason). I remember being terrified of losing a crutch on which I had depended for so long. Although it is tough to come off Effexor it is not impossible. I, like your brother, came right down to 37.5mg but when it came to stopping completely, the withdrawal of my body crying out for the drug was overwhelming. I started to think of how it felt when I went cold turkey from cigarettes and decided I would adopt a similar attitude to the Effexor. There is nothing psychological about this it is just physical. The last 37.5 is the toughest hurdle because your body goes from having a supply of the drug (albeit in a small measure) to nothing at all. There was and is no difference in mood but the physical 'pulse' sensations all through my body were very real. I decided I was going to be strong and ignore them. There have been so many times in the last eight years that I have felt so weak and helpless that I thought this time; 'I can be strong, I can fight this, look at just how I have survived all these years, I'm not going to let a mere 37.5mg of anything get in my way'. It does take a few weeks but these 'pulsing' sensations do go away.

In the last 3 months (since I finished Effexor) I have obviously been closely monitoring everything about me, physically, emotionally, everything. In hindsight, when on Effexor I think I was walking around like a zombie (basically like I was sedated but without drowsiness, if that makes sense). I still work hard, don't play too hard, keep very fit, have many extra-curriculars and I don't wallow in the negative. Yes I have my bad days but who doesn't? The key is to get on with it. The emotional numbness is still there though and the only thing I am yet to shake off. My intelligence tells me to be happy or sad in situations but I still find it tough to actually feel these or any emotions. I am still looking for the answer and will find it!!

Moiraine, I don't know what you should or shouldn't take from my account of my situation. Only you can answer that. However, the moral that I really wanted to communicate to you here is this: in our fight to beat this illness, the real answers lie within us. When I started to believe in myself and my strength and ability to fight it, I was really able to do so. Yes for a time we may need the helping hands of therapy and medication but these are not the answer. We are!! Fight on!!

Take care and I hope my words can help in some way.

Rob

Hi Blue,

Yes the numbness that I talk about is emotional numbness. You are dead right, wallowing in this is detrimental. Thank you. This numbness is the only aspect of my depression that I am yet to shake off. While I don't wallow in it, it is still there and an obvious bone of contention for me. I guess I'm working on it rather than wallowing in it.

I hope you're not blue too much longer!

Take care,

Rob.

Hi everyone,
I'm new to this forum and to the web-site. I was diagnosed with depression about 2 and a half years ago although refused to take any meds for the first 6 months or so. Then I started on lexapro which worked a treat. I went down to a low maintenance dose but had a rough time during the summer and again recently and the lexapro wasn't really working. I then tried Lustral which did absolutely nothing and am now on Gamanil, a tricyclic AD. I've only been on it for a week, and only on the full theraputic dosage for about 3 days. I'm not feeling quite so low today, although I'm sufferring from a lot of minor anxiety/panic attacks.
When I was first diagnosed with depression I was obsessed with my health. I had lost a lot of close friends/relatives due to cancer and road accidents. My business had failed, parents had left the country, I'd moved house and had 2 children and my husband had been diagnosed with cancer (which thankfully he is completely clear of now) all within a space of about 3 years. So finally I cracked.
This time around I obsessed about my marriage. I've been married 9 years, we've been together 14. This summer I had a one night stand with someone from work. My husband knows all about it and has completely forgiven me. I gave up work at the beginning of the summer to spend more time with the kids but that wasn't a good idea as i need the structure and social side of work. I was lucky enough to get my job back but one of the girls I work for is being a complete Biotch. She's bitter about the fact that I had the summer "off". Last week, when I was already having a really bad day she had a go at me. You could have knocked me over with a feather, I was so shocked. She texted me later to make sure I was ok?! but the damage was already done. I have taken a few days off work as I just couldn't cope any more. My sick cert says I have a chest infection. Im dreading going back to work next week which is probably why I'm getting panic attacks. I'm also very worried about the new medication and whether it will work or not and whether the side effects will go away. I'm feeling quite light headed although its not quite so bad today. Are the panic attacks side effects or because of the depression? I've never really sufferred from them before. I just wish things could go back to normal. Will they ever be normal again?

Macdryan

Hey Macdryan,

Welcome to DF and the other medications forum.

Sounds like you have been through some tough times. Hopefully the gamanil will be beneficial for you.

Things do improve...time is the biggest healer.
Hopefully you can find DF helpful,i know many people here will be able to relate to the way you feel.

Take care,
SO6

Hey MacDryan,

Yes things do go back to normal. It doesn't happen overnight unfortunately but there is light at the end of the tunnel. I used to get terrible panic attaks also and didn't know how to make them go away. I found a good therapist who gave a good analogy for a panic attack: a panic attack is like a mugger with a water pistol and can't cause you any harm. I started to adpot this attitude when I felt a panic attack coming. How absurd and ridiculous would it be to let a mugger with a harmless water pistol upset you? It wasn't long before the attacks stopped.

I hope this helps.

Take care,

Rob

hi my name is bethanie.

i've posted over in the lexapro forum before as i'm on that, but this week my doctor put me on edronax (reboxotine) as well... he said it should help my motivation and stuff, and so far it has. instead of wanting to sleep my life away i've actually gotten up early in the morning today and yesterday! and DONE stuff! woohoo!


is anyone else here on this medication? i seem to remember reading it's not available in the usa as yet... i live in australia.

help!
my doctor gives me seroquel to help me sleep and i swear that its like taking sugar pills
its only 50mg but it does nothing at all to help me fall asleep. i try doing calming things before bed, getting into a routine, just relaxing, laying there. but sleep never comes
can some people just not react to seraquel?
i'm pretty chubby for my height andi've always wonderd if body weight has anything to do with the way you metabolize medicines
i tried trazadone for a while a couple years ago for sleep, it worked but it made my heart feel funny so we stopped
whats up with the seroquel!

Hey mellybelly,

Welcome to DF and the other depression and medications forum.

There is a topic on seroquel in this forum which has other members experiences, it could be of some help to you.

Everyone reacts differently to meds, weight, height etc dont always play a part. Have a talk with your doc about what your experiencing, you could need to change the dosage or maybe try a different med.

Take care,
SO6