please, if this is a mod or admin, don't ban me for saying this but i'm really 10 years old. I can't let my parents know i'm getting to a end it all point.

My name is shane. I have tourette syndrome, and it's really ruined my life. My parents make me go upstairs to eat so the really young kids don't get words in there heads. My parents blame everything on me, and sometimes even hit me. They spoil everyone else and treat me like crap. I made a new friend who is also trying to help me, and he's giving good idea's to help stop myself when i'm about to say something bad. He tells me they could possibly just be blaming themself, but I don't think thats right. Sometimes I think about [taking my life]. I don't want to call suicide hotline cuz then it would be on caller ID. I just don't know what to do.

This post has been edited by suburgatory: Aug 22 2008, 12:57 AM

((((((((Shane))))))))))

Welcome to DF.
You sound alone and afraid and you are very young. You must be terrified. Can you try and take the phone off caller ID, so that you can call a help line? What about your friend, can you call him?
People who are abusive or hit people, normally have problems inside themselves that they lock away and are normally very afraid. You sound strong inside and it is good that you are trying to get help. Do you go to school? If you go to school, does your school have a counseling department, it should be free and confidential, so parents don't have to find out, please think of going to see them.

Trace

Hi Shane
You're very welcome here. You sound so desperate and so sad. It's really not fair that you have Tourette's (just as it's not fair either, than any of us here, have the illnesses we have.) We can certainly listen to you, if you want to talk, so if you just want to write a long post about how you feel or what has happened, you can do that.

I also wondered: might you be able to go to your friend's house and call a hotline from there? I also agree with Trace's suggestion that you speak with a school counsellor, or a teacher you feel at ease with. Do you have any relatives you feel you can talk with?

Have your parents taken you to see a doctor or a psychologist? Do you go in alone, or is one of them with you? If you do go, perhaps you can ask if you can go in alone for today, and then you can speak privately. It is really good to talk these feelings out or otherwise they build up inside you, and that's very lonely.

Keep posting here and perhaps together we can find a solution that will work for you.

I don't know, maybe i could use my brothers cell phone and erase it of history. It sounds strange. I don't want the cops coming to my house either trying to arrest me for trying to kill myself. Yes, I go to school. Actually, it's a catholic school. I really don't like it there. I always want to tell the councilour, but i just get too scared. I don't want my parents in trouble, I just wish they would like me, and treat me with some respect.
My parents don't take me to a psychologist. Most people with tourette do go to a group meeting thing like that, and I just didnt want to go. I'm kind of a shy person and scared to talk to people. But here is different cuz i can't even see you and your trying to help me.

You shouldn't have to go through this alone, I know for me if you were my son I would do all that is possible including moving the earth to get you to feel better about yourself.
Do you have an adult you trust to talk to? If you do please please talk to them, your syndrome is very well known and treatable. More people than you know have it, I think everyeone has a touch of it .
Your not alone so please talk to someone who can help you. You sound like such a bright boy and belive me you have so much to give of yourself in the future and right now, so don't look at this syndrome as a bad thing, there is help out there you just need to find it..

Take Care and Be Well..

Thanks. But no, I don't have an adult to talk to. I've actually been sick that last two days so i wouldn't have to go to school, and my parents are work. I feel kind of happy that I'm not by anybody. I do talk to my brother who is 14, and he has gone threw some bad stuff and he is always there to help me, but I don't want him to feel like he's having to babysit me every minute of my life.

Hi again Shane
The thing I am concerned about, is that you feel as if you want to end your life. That is really not a good sign and it kinda says that you need more help than you are getting at the moment. Is there any way you could ask your parents to take you to a doctor or psychologist? Do you see a doctor from time to time and how long ago was your Tourette's diagnosed? How much about how you feel, do you feel up to telling them? It would be very good if you could ask your parents to organise to find someone that you can talk to about how you feel about the Tourette's and get some regular counselling from someone that you like and trust, and this should be able to make those feelings of wanting to end it all, go away. They are such painful thoughts and feelings (I've had them too, but got some help and now they're gone.) Does it feel like you could ask your parents that?

Do your parents think that you are doing fine? How much do they know about how you feel? I'm sorry I'm asking so many questions! Just trying to understand the situation you are in, so we can best suggest things that will help.

When my daughter was 11, she had an episode of depression because someone was bullying her badly at school. I organised for her to have counselling every week for about 6 months and it helped her SOO much. So I'm hoping that if your parents see how unhappy you are, they might think of doing the same. I understand that you don't want to get your parents in trouble, and I think you can do this in a way that will not get them, or you, into any trouble, but just let them understand that you are very unhappy.

And yes, it is very much easier to talk online and explain our feelings - I think most of us feel that way. So if it helps, please just keep right on talking, as you can speak safely and anonymously and as freely as you like here.

I guess so. I would have to ask them when they get home in a hour. I would be going to the place that I was recommended to go to. I got diagnosed about a year and a half ago. And yeah, I have to visit the docter about 3 times a year and they do a couple tests on me and take blood, cuz they said tourrette can lead to allot of other things, inspecially adhd. And I don't feel really good at all, talking to my parents.
I'm pretty sure my parents know that im depressed, they just don't know how depressed i really am. I've always been kind of sad. I was afraid allot of my childhood my brother might die or get something bad from all the drugs he did, and luckily he quit this year.

How is it going, I am really concerned and want to know how you are..
I will get better, believe me..