Im not sure what to do anymore! Iv had enough! I'm concidering getting into my car and driving as far as I can away from here!

I'm fed up of feeling trapped and feeling like my life has no purpose! I even sat down tonight and managed to tell my husband that I was very very close to having a breakdown and he turned round and said it was my own doing and then later on while using his phone I found a stash of porn on it!!

I'm obviously not good enough for him either! I may as well not be here! It's not like anyone would notice if I wasn't!

I know that sometimes it seems like no one would care but I am sure you have someone in your life who would miss you terriblely. I would tell you hubby that since you are a team in life, you should work together to help make you better.

Hi Sarah,
Sorry to hear things are bad right now. Trapped is a BAD BAD feeling. I think my start of depression began from being trapped by my location.

As far as the porn, I guess maybe I'm too open to things, but I know lots of men who have this, but don't think any less of their wives. I don't doubt my husband has perused a few pictures like this, but I know it's not that he doesn't want to be with me or conversely that he's looking for someone else. I guess I just consider that part of being a man. NOW if he's looking around at other "real" women or ignoring you, to me that's another matter.

Do you have a job, hobbies, friends? Do you have family or other support where you live? Is this trapped feeling new?
Nicky

Hi

Thanks for the replies, im at an all time low and cant sort myself out. I work for the family business which i really hate but every time I try and leave my family make my life living hell. Im also living with my parents at the moment while my husband and I save up to buy a house but i cant cope with it all anymore. I find myself just bursting into tears all the time.

After not sleeping all night I packed a bag and left for work! im not sure yet if im going home, i dont know what to do and have nobody i can talk to!

Hey Sarah
You do have people you can talk to, theres always someone on here.
Would it be possible to get a bit more info on the subject? Sometimes when you are looking at your own life it seems so impossible to see a solution, but to a fresh pair of eyes it could be much more easy to solve.

You say that you are stuck in a family business, have you tried looking for another job? Perhaps if you were offered another job you could say that it paid better?
As for your partner, I have no idea what the situation is, but living in your partners parents house is very stressful, in fact, living as a couple in your parents house is like hell, Ive been there..
But there is light at the end of the tunnel, you will move out eventually. Being around the same people day in day out just grates on you more because it never seems to let up.

Maybe try getting a break if possible. Spend some time on you. Give yourself a little TLC. Sounds like you need it.
Maybe get some exercise too, use up all the nervous energy that the stress has created.
When my other half is getting to me sometimes I just need to go walk by the sea with my walkman on and clear my head..Or see my friends without him there. You need to give yourself a break or you could snap.

I hope that you find some relief soon

A break sounds like the perfect thing for you, even if you just stay with a friend who lives in the same town as you. Everyone else will be better off too for having you rested and in better shape. It's really hard to make big decisions or have big conversations with people at times when you feel like you're describing, so I don't think you can really make changes until you get some comfort and rest.

I'd also suggest something nice to help you relax--a yoga class, a massage (sometimes massage schools sell them for free or very cheap). Anything that can get you in a better frame of mind will help, and then you can actually look more clearly at all the things that got you to this point.

Hi Sarah,

Hope you're OK and safe. Packing a bag is a big sign and I hope you have somewhere to go or feel better and return home, in the short term at least.

Let's try and reduce the problem from one big impossible one to at least some smaller ones. Your help is needed to do that of course as it's your life.

The way I'd try and approach it is to make a list of the problems and also any good things about your current situation.

I only know what you've written but here's a start :

. Your husband's phone porn. Firstly, as a male, I'd have to say that's just dumb. Why? It must cost a lot to get it on a phone. Men do enjoy porn and often there is nothing other than the male drive to that. But it does and can lead to other interests, partners and so on. So it is a problem that needs to be discussed. As adults though. If you can't bear it then that's your right to say so. He though may say it's his right to have it. A compromise is needed, one you can rely on, not just say yes and carry on stuff.

. Working for your parents in the family business. What do you get out of it? Are you paid? A good wage? Do you have a share in it? Will you inherit it eventually? Questions here mainly about your input to the business and what you get out of it. In the short term you may be paid small wages but if you get the business in time you may see that as OK.

. Living with your parents as a couple. Only one solution isn't there? Get out, as being there will only make it hard for you two to have any life as a couple. Saving up for a house? Well, is now a good time to be thinking about buying given the sub prime mortgage crisis? Waiting to buy a house could be longer than you may have been expecting as the global market is "uneasy" right now.

So I would suggest moving out as a renter would be better or even sharing a house with younger people that don't get to tell you what to do.

. Trapped. This is a combination of the above issues and much more you haven't mentioned I'm sure. For example you haven't said how you feel about your husband. You told him you were at breaking point and his response was not supportive was it? Maybe he's shocked or just doesn't have any idea what you really mean. Maybe you don't know yourself just yet.

That's a start. You see what I'm doing? Going through each thing and trying to state what I feel from whay you've written. My comments art likely way off base so you need to do it for yourself in your words.

But the idea is to write it down so it's not still a big unsolved jumble in your head. On paper it looks a lot less scary.

It does sound too like medical support is called for. Do you see a doc yet? Or a counsellor?

Hope to see a post from you soon.

Very best

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