I would like to know ir anyone else has experienced the following event.
I was a watching a show on tv about the murder of a young child. Nothing bothered me until the Mother started talking about how it affected her. She talked of being depressed and suicidal. I was alright until she started talking about making plans for a suicide. I suddenly felt the same pain I had had when I was planning suicide. I think I was feeing her pain also. It has taken a long time but I don't cry a lot anymore. As I felt the pain I started to cry. I cried a sobbing cry for over an hour. I just couldn't stop. After the mood passed, I felt a little down. I have not really gotten over it. I still have the lack of energy and lethargy. This was a scary episode. It didn't put me in a deep depression or make me suicidal. It just made me very sad. I have had a wonderful spring and summer;. I have felt well and have been very upbeat until this incident.
My doctor has suggested cymbalta;. It sounds good but I have had such bad experiences with medications it scares me a little. It you have had a similar experience please let me know. Thank you for reading this. This forum it very often a big help to me.

This post has been edited by marybon: Aug 8 2008, 01:14 PM

Hi maryborn,

I'm sorry that you had to go through that. Have you been dealing with or have you ever dealt with depression before?

Sometimes I will be feeling allright, then something I see or hear will trigger an anxiety attack, or make me really depressed.
I have to be carefull to avoid situations that will trigger my anxiety/depression.

I'm glad to see you talking to your doctor. I take Lexapro and am going back to the doctor because it's not working to well. I know your afraid of medication, but if you need just be sure to keep your doctor updated.

Hang in there,

Dante~

I've had similar experiences, so you're not alone. I remember a couple years ago, I was watching a movie and the main girl in the film was a cutter. It brough back a lot of those emotions from when I did that myself. I identified with the girls problems and pain she was going through, even though it was just a movie. I started crying really hard and for a long time. It effected me so much, I even brought it up in therapy.

I have also watched similar things on TV about murders and suicides and it effects me too. Even thoough these people on TV are strangers to us, it makes sense that we identify with their pain and that it brings back those feelings to us of times we felt suicidal, so I do understand. The first time I contemplated sucide was at 12 years old, and I still think of it from time to time, and I'm in my 30's now. Watching things on TV like that can definatly make us sad.

I would suggest to try to avoid watching shows like that. I know it's hard since it seems all that's ever on TV are bad things, but you need to keep yourself emotionally safe. If you do find yourself watching shows like that and getting upset, try to change the channel and focus on feeling good. Easier said than done I know, but TV can be very disturbing.

If you have a therapist, I would bring this up with him or her, how much you were effected by the TV show. On the up side, it shows that you are a very sensitive and compassionate person that you felt so much for that woman's pain and all she went though, but remember you need to keep yourself safe.

As far as anti-d's, I can also relate to being scared of meds since I too have had many bad experinces on meds and are very hesitant to take new ones. I would inform your doctor of your fears. Being honest with your doctor will benefit you and your needs more. If you are open to taking meds, try to not think of them in the long term. Start out slowly, like a trial. Perhaps take the lowest dosage possible, and try them for maybe a week. If you don't feel good on them, tell your doc right away and maybe you can try something else. I've never been personally on cymbalta, so I can't tell you what it''s like, but I do understand your fears and think they are rational considering your bad history with meds.

Hang in there and keep posting here if it helps. You're not alone, I promise! I hope you feel better soon :)

I could be way off the mark but I wonder if perhaps you are grieving. There have been events in my life that I thought I had dealt with completely. (Mother's death, my near suicide being two of them) that something unrelated triggered a huge gush of feeling. Such as sitting in a restaurant with friend weeks after my mother died when out of the blue I was crying. Couldn't stop for hours.
With your reaction were you perhaps reminded of the deep sorrow you felt about your own (potential)demise. That you were over-empathizing with this TV person.
A therapist once pointed out that when we nearly cause our own extinction we still have that sorrow and grief that all the people who cared about us also have. (Afterall if you didn't care about yourself at all you wouldn't bother trying to commit suicide.)
I would avoid those TV shows. (I love the term "pity-porn") And maybe you can move on past that suicidal edge now. Sort of say to yourself "Oh MY! What a terrible terrible thing that happened to me. How sad. Good thing it is over now."
Maybe you need to grieve for the loss of that joi de vivre you had before. Or simply the innocence of never wanting to kill yourself.
Or maybe it really is just empathy. (I say just but that can drive you to the edge of suicide too.)
Suicidal despair is a traumatic experience. Trauma takes time to heal.

Hi Marybon,

It sounds like what I call a trigger. Which is simply a name for anything that can trigger a reaction, emotional, in you, or me.

In the situation you describe it clearly recalled your own situation and the sadness is normal, very normal when you recall what happened and how close you came to not being here. As Greyguy suggests it sounds like grieving which is also very normal.

You say you had a good period and this incident was a one off and short lived. That is normal emotional response and does not indicate any depression etc at all. Simply sadness about the place you were in at that time and how you identified with the character in the show.

There is no need to dwell on your reaction to that show really. Just take care in what you watch. Would you really want to watch any show or movie about suicide? I wouldn't, I could and usually don't. Because I know how it will make me feel.

I'd suggest you focus on the rest of your time recently which you say has been good. One incident does not need to ruin all of that for you.

You and your doctor know best but I would question the need for an anti depressant based on the incident you describe. I'd guess the doctor is suggesting a med for preventetive purposes which is a good move. Rather than wait and see if you do deteriorate. That is a good approach but it depends on you and your willingnes to take the meds.

If you feel strong enough then discuss it again with your doc. But think through what has actually happened. Which is basically nothing. You watched a TV show that brought back feelings in you that are from the past. They can easily become current again of course but right now is your chance to put them back to where they belong, in the past.

Have you considered talk therapy instead of a med?

Very best

Friendly

The dinamic here is DENIAL AND PROJECTION, you identified with her and projected your own experience into it.

I do this quiet a lot, there was a tv advert for the NSPCC i really let rip one day with that, very clever advertising the boy really carried the vulnerable child and because of this i identified with him, he hooked unconcious material and accessed ungrieved losses.

I do think sometimes something can hit trauma and leave someone feeling in that state they were in, i know there are ways to get yourself back quickly to a reasonable state fast

I have noticed when I see couples breaking on the tv it can trigger my depression. That's why I stick to comedies and horror flicks.

Thank you for your comments. I appreciate your help. You sound very knowledgeable. I have fought depression for a long time. I was seriously depressed around 1995 and made a serious suicide attempt. My husband had cancer and for two years I took care of him and watched him die a little every day. I grieved for a long time.. I wouldn't get dressed or leave the house for days at a time. I have said I think my husband grabbed me and shook me one day and told me to get up and get going. I have made a huge change in my life. I lost 50 pounds and feel that I look good and feel good. I like my life and i am happy living alone with my two scottish terriers. I have a strong support from my family, friends and church. I am still lathargic at times. I am right now. I have a psychiatrist. She only takes care of my meds. I am at this time, taking Serzone. I am extremely sensitive to medications and have not been able take anything to give me energy. I have an appointment next week to discuss Cybalta with her. I also see a threrapist; He really has been a help. I do better in the summer as I need a lot of light. I see him more often in Fall and Winter. I have found that while they are help, they really don't know what depression feels like. It is something you have live through. That is why this forum is so important. By the way, I am going to be 73 next month. That means little as I feel like I did at 40! My doctor says I get younger before his eyes. Thank you and God Bless you.