So yeah.My parents dont even know that theres such a thing as a depression and they think that I can and should cure it by myself and no help is needed.

I tried to tell them that I need help and cant do this by myself,but it seems like they dont even know what this thing is and dont care.They just dont listen to me.

I thought they finaly understood me that time when they made me tell them whats wrong with me,but it turns out they have no idea what is really going on with me and I wont be getting any help.

Basicly Im screwed.My head is a huge mess and I dont know what to do,dont want to do anything,and just wanna kill myself just to end all this mess.


I thought I was gonna get help but it turned out that I wont.


I hate it all so much.I just dont know what to do.My parents wont listen to me and I cant get help all by myself.I really wish I killed myself sooner.I dont want to live like this anymore,and the worst thing is,its just getting worse and worse and will NEVER get better.I hate life so much,im so tired of it.I hate everyone and everything,and I hate myself.I dont want to go through this.

Im sorry I posted this but I had to do something.Im so lost.Im back in hell again,and this time its way worse.What am I supposed to do?

Nothing is going to work.

You won't wanna hear this right now, but the only person that can help you is yourself. Something will work, believe me, well believe us. most of us here are in a similar boat.

Suicide is not the way! Life WILL get better, you just have to wait, I know it sucks and its horrid and sad.

Do you have to have your parents with you to go see a Dr? Are you still at school? Do they have someone to talk to, maybe they could speak to your folks to. If you have a diagnosis from a Dr they can't deny you arent well.

Take care pls

G

Hi EduKor,

First things first. Don't say nothing will work, cause something will work as long as you keep hope in yourself.

I'm sorry to hear that your parents don't believe you when you say you are depressed. It is easier for people who don't understand what it is like to go through depression to just tell someone to "get over it". If people only took the time to understand depression, they would probably never say "get over it".

Depression is scary, and painfull. You said you couldn't do it by yourself, and I can understand. You may not realize it, but comming here is good start towards the path to helping yourself getting better.

Now as amazinggrace said, it does get better. Of course right now it may not seem like that.

Have you tried looking into a free councsleing center in your area. If there is one you can schedule an appointment with a counsler and they can help you out. The ones I have been to are confidential. Also keep trying to talk your parents, perhaps get some reading material from your local library, or from the internet on depression so that they will understand what you are going through.

Also you need to do whatever you can to see your doctor. Your doctor can determine if, or what kind of medication you might need. Now as I've said before in other replies, anti-depressants are not a cure. You can't take them and then a week later expect to feel completley better. Getting over depression is hard work, and takes effort.

That comes to my next point. Develop a support system. People you can talk to, friends, other family members, and the folks here on DF. A support system is a good thing to have when you feel that you can't handle things on your own. I have a great support system that is available to me 24/7. Wither it be calling my folks, or a friend, or even a 24/7 coucling service. Everyoone needs help every now and then.

It sounds like you have had thoughts of suicide. Suicide is honestly never the answer, and youu may not want to hear this, but when a person commits suicide they may have ended their problems, but they have created a whole new world of problems for the people they leave behind. I know how hard it is first hand. If things seem like they are to much, or you just can't go on. Please call one of the crisis intervention hotlines listed here. 've had to call them myselves, and if you need someone to come get you they will make arrangments for you.

You will always have friends here that are willing to listen, and give you advice.

Please hang in there.


Please, please keep us updated.

Dante~

Thanks for the reply.

Im not diagnosed.My parents say they dont trust psychologists.The reason I cant go alone is because I have nothing to pay with,plus I cant do something like this alone.Im too scared,and I dont know how all this works.I quit school because my depression got very bad and I just dont have the strength to do anything anymore.I feel so weak.Im completly lost and the only thing my mind is set on is death,which I cant do either(I cant do anything right).

I just with I could fall asleep and never wake up.

And even if I went to a psychologist,what would I say.I cant even talk properly and my parents(or anyone else)wont help me here.I hate this.Why does it always have to be a mess with no way out.Im tired of returning to all this pain.It never went away,it always comes back,and it always will.A little while ago I still had hope,but now Ive lost it.I dont see how Ill live anymore.The only people Ive got are my parents,so I cant tell anyone else.

They will never listen and I dont even want to talk to them anymore.Im tired.

Thanks for replying.

I really really hope youre right.I really hope there is a way,but its just so hard to believe that there really is.

I also dont know who to call here where I live.I live in Latvia(Eastern Europe) and I dont think that in such a small and undeveloped country as this I can get much help.I have no idea where and who to call.

My parents think its all in my head or that I just need attention.Why cant they ever listen to me.Why do they think Im so stupid that my words can never be trusted...

I just cant do this anymore.I hope I dont wake up tomorrow,but falling asleep right now will be a problem too.

I feel like Im doomed.

Hello again EduKor,

Councslers aren't psychologists. They are trained people, but are not psychologists, and often times they offer their services for free. I don't make much money so that's the route I have been taking, and counsler I see is just plain awesome!!!!

If you see a counsler, you don't have to worry about what to say. He/she will help you with that. But if I was in your shoes, I would just start off by being honest, and telling them what is on your mind. It really does help to talk. You allready know what to say, because you are talking to all of us.

The only person that can diagnose you is your doctor. So I urge you to seem them as soon as you can.

There is hope EduKor, and you don't have to do this alone, your friends here will do whatever we can to help you out.

Dante~

Can you see a regular doctor? What we call in the United States, a general practitioner, family doctor, or internist? If your parents don't want you to go for your mental health issues, go for some other reason and then talk to the doctor about your feelings. Maybe he can refer you and in the meantime, explain some things to your parents. They may not believe in mental health professionals but maybe they do in medical doctors? Many people start out with talking to their regular doctors about their mental health.

If you don't know what to say, print out what you wrote here on the boards and show it to the doctor.

And remember, a BIG reason parents don't like to believe their kid is depressed is because they feel that it reflects on them somehow. If a doctor could explain the chemical issues of depression to them, maybe they'd feel better about it. Of course maybe you do have issues with your parents, but in the end that can be between you and a therapist if you do get to talk to one. But sometimes you just have to relieve that pressure off the parents of them thinking, "what is my kid saying, this is my fault?" Anyway just to tell you how they may be seeing it, not to defend them so much as to let you know how you might be able to help them accept what is going on with you.

Good luck, and PLEASE try to get some help, and keep coming to DF to keep us updated.

This post has been edited by onlymakesmelaugh: Aug 5 2008, 07:42 PM

Hello again.

Feeling awful today.My parents are acting cheerful as if that talk yesterday didnt even happen.I know they remember it,but ofcourse they wont take it seriously.

So,here I am,sitting in a dark room,thinking what will happen next,hoping for the day to be over as soon as possible.

I feel like an idiot.My parents probably think I am one too.They took that talk from me yesterday as a joke.As if its all in my mind.Something I got off the internet.

They expect me to get better just by wishing for it.

Looks like I really am all alone on this.


Things just dont get better.Death seems closer and closer.I cant picture myself living anymore.Its all gone.I wish I could,but I cant.My brain tells me the only way is death,tells me to look for a way to kill myself.But I dont want to kill myself either - I dont have the guts.I cant do anything because Im always scared.


I cant remember the last time I actually felt happy.I cant even remember what it feels like to be happy.Can it really get better from here?Because it sure hasent.Not for a long time.


I hate this so much.


Thank you all for the support.


From here on its all up to me,I guess.

Are you from Latvia, as in born there? Cos you have great English if you do.

How about leaving home? Apply for Au pair job in the UK or Summer camp next year in the US, or Chalet staff at a ski place.
See the world while you can, and maybe even get a diagnosis.

Just some ideas.

Take care and stop this suicide talk, you are a lovely person who deserves to live and be happy. We all are, just some of us have higher hurdles to jump than others.

Edukor,

You seem to have recived some good advice here so I wont add to that.

The thing with parents. My Dad still doesnt know I suffer from depression after 15 years (although I dont live with him I'm married etc).

It seems the older generation see things a bit differently sometimes. I can imagine if ever I told my Dad he'd say somthing like 'pull yourself together', or 'when I was young during the last war we had it hard - you've got it easy'. Not sure how the South Wales valleys comparies to Latvia but the area I'm from men are men and dont get depressed if you know what I mean. This is my Dad all over. Therefore, I dont tell him !!!!

Not suggesting you dont speak to your parents. Good on you for trying but dont be too hard on them. Sometimes it difficult for them to understand I guess !!!!

Hi EduKor,

Everyone looks like they have given you some great advice, so please hang in there. :-) You have a good head on your shoulders.

Take care,

Dante~

Edukor,

Just wanted to say that I've been where you are during younger periods of my life. I dealt with my problems in a bad way and regret doing so. That is bogus that your parents treat you like that and my heart goes out to you. You may have tried this, but perhaps you need to present to your parents a discourse on depression, aided by a plethora of unquestionable and uncanny source knowledge. The internet is a good source, but it sounds to me like your parents would be quick to discredit it. I would advise tracking down some books and pamphlets which contain indisputable scientific information.

Also, check your local surroundings, there must be some place that you can find for counseling, or maybe even some support groups or local outreach programs. In the mean time, I would encourage you to learn all you can about depression so that when you do get to talk to a psychologist, you will have some things to say. Also, keep in mind, that a therapists job is to ask you questions and help identify your issues and aid you in working through them. You don't always have to know outright what you are going to tell them. Part of depression is being confused about such things.

Now please if you need someone to talk to through all of this, keep in touch with the boards. Message me if you feel comfortable. My aim/yahoo etc is in my profile. Or you can just send a private message. I'm sorry that I am unfamiliar with your country and what is available to you over there; any of my advice stems from what is typical here in the US. But regardless, I (and the others on the boards) extend whatever support we can. Please don't give up. It may seem trite when you keep hearing that things will get better over and over, but trust me they can. If other people can get better, then so can you! All hope is not lost.

God bless,
~Dragsum

Hello again.

Feeling a lot better now...probably because Im busy with my hobbies,they help a lot.

Thanks to everyone who gave me support,you guys are great.



Still not sure what Im gonna do,but Ill figure something out,plus you guys gave me some good advice here so Ill make sure to remember all that.


To amazinggrace:Well,I wasnt really born in Latvia,I was born in south Russia,in a city called Nal Chik(very close to Georgia),but my father is Latvian,which makes me part Latvian too,so my family and I live here.I learned English by watching lots and lots of Hollywood classics and playing videogames,haha. Feels kinda weird to talk about myself like that,never was good at talking Thanks for your support!


I think that as long as I have my hobbies things will be okay.Im just afraid that depression will take THAT away from me too,like it did before.I was only able to get back to these hobbies out of pure luck,and thinking that I might have lost them forever scares and frustrates me.I really want to get rid of depression.It takes all the good stuff away from me.


Again,thanks for everything!

Yup, you've got a good head on your shoulder.

Dante~