Hello everyone i thought id share an experience that keeps happening in the hope others might shed some light on it for me, this keeps happening to me, all of asudden i just seem to let go of this depressed state im in and just for maybe 5 seconds just almost snap out of it, or walk right out of it, then it snaps back in again, iv noticed this normally happens when im just pondering on what to do that day or what iv got lined up to do, normally it feels lifeless and dismall but all of asudden something im going to do later seems to strike a cord and seem worth looking forward too and at that moment it just lifts, in one way it brings some hope but its torture to not be able to replicate it again.At that time when walk out of it i realise the difference or how dismal this depression really is,

the only other experience i can compare this too putting depression aside for a moment is its similar to having a real bad day when somethings on my mind and its overtook me say for example all my bills that day have just come through the door and from that point on i feel rotten my mood is low and then later all of a sudden i just at that moment find a solution to the problem it just comes to me without concious thought.Then i feel better then my sad mood has shifted then i can enjoy the rest of the day.the shift is similar, only difference is the other doesent last long.

If i dident know better its almost like somethings on my mind and i dont know what it is?



Does anyone know what might be happening?

Simon

If you just started taking an AD, little break throughs will occur. Could this be the case with you? On the other hand, these little episodes can mean there's hope the depression will start to lift. I'm really down with bills, too, as I'm seriously strapped financially. Important ones get paid in full, others get minimal payments. After that ordeal is over, my mood improves. Although your ups are fleeting, try to hold on to the pleasant thoughts attached to them.
Sheepwoman

I have longer periods of "normalcy" but I know what you mean in terms of how it feels when the fog lifts. I think you have something there with the thing that you are focusing on. I've found in most more difficult periods of my life, it's because I feel like there's nothing in my life to focus on. For quite a few years it was making changes to my house - building a deck, finishing the basement, trying to run in a 10k etc. And while those periods were stressful in their own way, I had a goal, a focus and I didn't feel as down as I do when I don't see anything big coming up. I've often battled sad bouts shortly after Christmas or other major holidays. You get so focused on the preparations.

I've had entire days recently where I'm like "HELLO ME". One night watching a tv show with my husband and folding laundry I kept saying to him "I'm ME tonight. It's really ME!" It's weird how when you have something like this - you appreciate something like just feeling like yourself.

I hope you reach some sort of breakthrough Simon. It's taken some pretty black moments for me to find out some things that have helped me a little.

OH thanks sheepwoman and nickylynn yes fleeting and when the fog lifts is a good anology to make, foggy head! you know what just accured to me right then, and i dont know if it has any comparison a kid that gets tired and then become ratty and nasty and what they really need is to go to bed, i just thought imagine as an adult not knowing that your tired and wondring whats wrong, when i beome tired im aware that i am tired so i can seperate the two at that point mentally i can deal with it, either you go to bed or remain bog eyed but you expect a difference in how you feel and how you think, to me depression is this swap tiredness for something else and call it (x), (x) being the unknown variable that i cannot identify and cannot respond to, like tiredness you become tired you become it, like (x) you become this too..

what you recon?

Well I work VERY hard to fend off the negative thoughts before they even try to start. Even little things can start pecking at my thin veneer of sanity. For example, I took my 12 year old to Dark Knight the other night not realizing how TERRIBLE it was for younger pre-teens/early teens. I felt like a terrible parent and ended up leaving the theater, and then I felt somewhat sad after that. It wasn't my fault and people walk out of theaters all the time, but for me it was more upsetting I think. Holding a shield up becomes exhausting but I think the alternative (sinking into a dark hole) is worse.

But yes, the overtired child is a great analogy, actually. "Normal" people have normal chemical levels in their brain when little ups and downs happen - when we have those same moments, it's like a person with immune deficiencies getting a bad cold. We get knocked back WAY worse.

All you can do to help this (outside of meds, doctor, other things) I think is to create as many positive situations as you can and develop little strategies for dealing with setbacks. Staying happy when you are depressed is hard work I think!

Best of luck Simon,
Nicky

Wow, I think I have something very similar which happens to me simonb. Every once in a while I will experience a brief glimmer of excitement over something. Usually I'm thinking of something I'd like to draw, or I'll get a melody in my head that I want to capture, or I'll be thinking about something I'd like to do that day or in the future. But then just as fast as the feeling comes, it disappears. I get this once in a while, I just wish it would stay with me when I'm actually doing these things. I would get this before I was on any meds. Really it kinda made me more depressed because I would try to force the excitement back on myself, but I just couldn't. So it made me feel lacking and sub-human. Thanks for posting this topic simonb.

~Dragsum

Yes spot on, very similar, also ill throw this in but unsure if its relevant, for example during the day i might stumble upton a problem say for example anything ill pick the iv got to work overtime tonight and at that moment my mood drops naturally because i dont really want to but iv got too iv got no choice, next ill get blindsided with something else my concious focus has shifted onto say driving the car now iv realised in general my mood had then dropped and stays this way, but iv forgot or become destracted as to why my mood has dropped i can stay this way for a long time say hours, now i know thats pretty "normal" standard stuff a guy gets pi**ed off cos hes got to work overtime that night, he might stay p**ed off all day nothing unusual about that.

....notice the drop in mood but forgetting why? the reason as to why has now been passed to the subconcious were it festers and it may last all day long

to me this is my comparison to depression, the constant low mood but not knowing why, im very interested in this sudden mood change and release for a short time when the fog clears off .
Are the reasons for this depression known but are in denial and repressed?Iv noticed the theme of the the fog being able to clear is normally when im pondering into the future it might be short term but i normally am picturing myself enjoying the evening or something similar.
At that point i can describe feeling SAFE, and with that safe feeling i can let go of my bad mood.Its almost maybe for some reason i feeling generally unsafe?
why i dont know? imagine being in a general unsafe situation lasting days say for example ( i cant think of a good example) but anyway say the threat of war looming, i bet a persons mood would drop but they have to get on with day to day rountine and forget what the problem is conciously and then finding out that the threat is now over say the problem has been resolved, the background mood then changes back to normal now the threat has gone?

I have a constant mild depression this analogy seems to fit with myself.

Yeah I'm kind of the same way. Sometimes I think about my future and all my potential and I get a general good feeling about it. (although sometimes I get a feeling that is quite the opposite) That is usually enough to perk me up for a moment though. What really seems to drag me down is just the day to day stuff. There is so much to do, and so many things interest me that I really find it hard to figure out the best and most efficient way to spend my time. And then there are the days when my motivation is completely gone and I just say screw it and lay in bed all day. Then I feel even worse. Oh well, all one can really do is continue on and keep on keepin on no matter how many setbacks there are.