Did it ever happen to you that someone made a mean comment about your illness, that gave you flashbacks (i mean flashbacks of the comment) years later? What did s/he say?

Psycotic, delusional, living in another world, incapable of doing anything right. Want to hear more, I can tell loads more, all said to me by my mother. All of which are not true about me.

Trace

That I was a selfish B**CH

Tell us more if you want to. I'll be listening.

One of my stepfathers used to always call me "Goofy," and that plays through my mind all the time and causes me to have self doubt about my ability to get better. I don't know if that's a flashback, but I do hear him in my head all the time. He was a very negative and callous man who died in 1995 before I could ever confront him on his horrible parenting methods and tell him how much he contributed to screwing up my life as a child and even now when I hear him over and over in my head. Parents have a huge influence on their children and some people should have never had kids. I only hope and pray that I will be a much better parent soon and that I'll instill within my child a voice of her own, independence and a great sense of self worth and self esteem. darkshadow.

I have been called a few things; selfish, spoilt, cold, indifferent, aloof, and the thousand or so synonyms for a woman of 'low moral virtue'. Some of these things have been true but I can't say any of it bothered me too much because those words meant whoever said them wasn't seeing what was on the inside.

I have more trouble with the memory of what I have said back and have cut an awful lot of people that tried to visit it upon me first. I was worse when I was younger though am still too willing to confront aggressive people.

I think all the things my mother never said made me a bit immune.

Big mouths betray big problems so who are they kidding anyway!?

Gisele

My alcoholic father (who died at 48 of alcohol poisoning) told me once that I was the reason he drank. I know he was drunk and my mother kept saying he didn't mean it, but... I was a teenager. It stung

Then there was the time he said "either you leave this house or I will". I had finished school, so that was how I left home.

I don't think about these much anymore and I have more understanding about his (undiagnosed) problems, but they hurt.

Edit: Oh, and of course my ex and father of my girls, doesn't believe there is such a thing as depression and I should just "pull myself towards myself."

This post has been edited by moonlightress: Jul 30 2008, 04:19 AM

"Your a freak, you make me sick, you should be put down, you should be shot" Just some off the things said to me.

I was looking for Tylenol in my brothers med cabinet and saw his wife had an RX for Zoloft, one of the meds I take....so I asked him later if she was alright and he said "Yeah, she takes it for her bad moods....she's not crazy like you are".

My brother who is 2 years older than me, used to always say to me whilst growing up, "Your Ugly", "Your the type of person that no one really likes" etc "you have a bald patch" (My fringe use to blow a bit in the wind and show my forehead, nothing major, anyway now he hardly has any hair on his head.

This may not sound like much but it truly has traumatized me....

I have terrible social anxiety and especially have difficulty speaking to women who I am attracted to. In grade school, I had a huge crush on this very popular girl who I wasn't sure even know I existed. One day, I somehow mustered up the courage to go tell her that I liked her. It was during lunch and it was in front of all her friends, and her response was, "Ew go away, you're retarded!"

I certainly am not bothered my her assessment of my intellect (I went on to attend an Ivy League school and was on the Dean's List) but for some reason the emotional rejection has haunted me to this day. Despite the fact that I have grown to be generally more comfortable around women and have been in several romantic relationships, I now have even worse insecurity/abandonment/codependency issues than ever before.

"Maybe if he gets hit in the head it'll fix him" - my grandma (when I was 7 or so). I don't speak to her anymore.

Right after college, my mother told me that when I was younger, she and my father wondered if I'd have the wisdom to get through life. Then she said she thought I'd be okay, but the fact that they even thought that still stings.

Then there's all of the times kids said "I hate you" to me, but I never really understood why. They're still in my chorus of inner critics that chimes in periodically ...

My mom saying that she hated me and God for making people like me to look as if I had never had a baby.

My sister telling me shortly after my daddy's death when I was 12 that i was not a daddy's girl.

My mom saying to me recently that it took a strong man to be married to someone like me.

My Aunt saying that she was starting to hate me as a neice and that she felt like she was competeing for attention with me with other adults when I was 15 and living with her after we were taken from momma.

Ahh yes. The joys of the older brother. Mine is three years older. I got "You're short, fat, ugly, and will never amount to anything".

Then there is my mother. When trying to talk to her growing up, like most teenage girls would like to be able to, it was "you think that's bad, when I was growing up..." and the classic: "Why can't you be more like your brother".

Just recently, while talking to my mother about my plans to try and become a parent myself (long story; short version: single using donor), her response: "Don't do it. You'll get bored. I know I did.". Those few little words are now seared into my brain.

Even my pdoc couldn't believe she said that to me. Her own daughter.

"Just get over it."

"What do you have to be depressed about."

"Your just being stupid."

"Why can't you be like everyone else."

"Your just being dramatical."

"I guess you really are crazy."

"You should kill yourself to put us out of our misery." --my loving sister