Hello :)

I found You so I believe somebody here can help me...
This is not easy for me to talk about because I would never think I'm suffering from depression.

My mood was always low (as far as I can remember) and most of my life I was unhappy. I had some problems at school because of that and lost a year in high school.. I studied at the university but didn't manage to finish my studies.. I couldn't cope with the fear inside me.

I have a feeling that my life is going nowhere and always had such a feeling. I never really knew where I want to be or what I want to do. Nothing seems to make me happy. I'm waiting for something to happen but nothing happens...
I feel I'm nowhere and I have no idea how to get out of it.

Outside I'm always joking and I'm smiling. I have many friends but really trust only few.
I've never complained much and I've never talked about the way I feel because I always cared more about other people than I cared about myself.

I don't think anything can satisfy me and I'm never enough happy about myself although other people just love me.

Most of the time I'm scared of the reality and even if I could do something about my life-to make it better- I don't.
I feel my situation is hopeless but I have no strength to change it.

Generally speaking my life is not that bad. I've got a job (even if part-time) and a passion... but all I do is just sit at home and do nothing much.. even going to the shop is a great effort.
I'm affraid to go and talk to people like in a bank or anywhere else, I don't pick up the phone so I wouldn't have to talk to anybody.
I don't contact much with my friends. Sometimes I don't feel like talking even to my family although I see them once a year.

Sometimes I feel like closing my bedroom and just falling asleep, not to have to deal with anything.

I don't think about suicide because it's not a solution but also I don't think I can stand this state any longer...
I keep hiding it from the whole world but I don't think it's much helpfull... So I keep on struggling and it's a trap I can't get out of..
I don't know where to go or what to do and I don't feel like going anywhere or doing anything...

Well... Please tell me what to do...
I'm here because one (of two) of my best friends suggested I might be suffering from depression and I think she's right.
I know maybe I should go to the doctor but I'm affraid I won't be taken seriously...

Please, help me...

You appear to have many of the symptoms associated with depression. Have you read the depression information on the forums or Googled it? Accepting you have a problem and then seeking help is a major portion of recovery. Print out your post, make an appointment and take it with you when you see the doctor. GP's see many patients suffering from depression and can give minimal treatment or refer them to a psychiatrist for proper assessment, diagnosis and treatment plan. Depression is one of the leading causes of disability and is taken quite seriously by the medical and mental health professionals. You've made a first step to recovery by reaching out to us, now it's time to make the next by making an appointment with your doctor.
Sheepwoman

First of all, to DF, Urgie,

Going by the symptoms you described, it is possible that you are suffering from depression. At the very least it seems like you have some issues with self-confidence. You really ought to see a professional to find out for sure. Perhaps you are simply stuck in a rut? In the meantime you have come to the right place to discuss any worries you might be having, or even just to hang out and make friends. We are all here to support each other on the road to wellness.

Keep on posting,
LR

I've read the forums and did some research on the internet... did some tests (which confirmed my concerns) too but always think it will go away..
There are some ups and downs but usually I just spend my time being only with myself as it's comfortable...

I don't know if I can do it.. When I think about my life and how miserable I am I would just sit down and cry.. I don't want anybody to watch it.

Seems to be really hopeless.....

p.s. thanks for the reply...

I can relate to you. Only recently have I even considered that I might be depressed. I have gotten used to the somber lifestyle that I though this is how life is suppose to feel. But it has gotten to the point where its been almost intolerable. And joining this forum is kinda like my baby first step to improvement. Like you, I dont react to much of anything around me anymore. Its not because I dont care, but I just dont feel emotions liek everyone else. Thats the best way I can explain it. And also, I dont contact friends anymore. Agains, it not that I dont want to. I really do. But something is stopping me. Im afraid to ask them to hang out. Because of that, I feel lonley on most nights an that only fuels my depressions. Sometimes, it feels like an endless cycle. But it does sound like you have a case there for depression. I would stay close with your friend because she could be a great support.

Hey:)

Well I thought it is normal that I feel down and I thought that it's just the way it is and that probably everybody else feels exactly the same way...
But when I think about it now I just don't think it is normal-it is surely not. I want to be happy and I want to enjoy my life but some days are soo bad..
I can even spend time with my friends and joke and laugh but I'm not really there.
Today I started my 'happily ever after life'. I will see how it will go... I thought of creating some kind of self-help programm as I want to avoid meds and any phychoteraphy if possible... and maybe save some time (mine and others) if I'm not really suffering from depression.
Maybe I'll add another post about self-help. I heard there are some programs...

Well... You see You are not alone in this... take care:)

Some people are able to help themselves out of depression-others are not as fortunate and need professional help. Having the right tools, coping skills and motivation is crucial for recovery. Check out Psych Ed 101. There are some self-help topics that may give you an idea what you need to do and where to start. As with any undertaking to improve yourself, it takes a lot of 24/7 self-determination and self-work to be successful. One baby step at a time. One day at a time.
Sheepwoman

Thanks a lot:)
I hope I will be able to help myself as I believe if I won't my existance will look just about the same for the rest of my life and I don't want to live like this any more...

Kind regards:)

Hello Urgie, and Mck,

I don't agree entirely with Sheepwoman despite her experience.

Yes some people do get through it by themselves, quite a lot actually. But they rarely do it by using self help tecniques. rather they tend to maintain their lifestyle and drop a thing or two out of their lives that was causing the problem. This applies mainly to low grade depression and many of those people do not ever realise they had it.

Self help tecniques can be very useful if you have gone through what I consider the hardest part of the depression process. Not the worst, the hardest.

Seems to me you are both still at that stage where you aren't sure but you think you might suffer depression. Until you know and accept you do how can you expect to treat it yourself?

Yes there are online self diagnosis processes but that is an amateur diagnosis by yourself. You need an accurate diagnosis by a professional. A doctor. Full stop.

Until you get that you are guessing and I must throw a joke lne at you here about self help books and tecniques, :

"How can you use self help tecniques when your teacher is an idiot/depressed etc"?

Do you follow? If you aren't diagnosed professionally using self help tecniques is pointless as you don't really know what you are dealing with.

It would be like me trying to assesss the problem with my car if it didn't start. I know nothing so my detailed analysis would be "The car doesn't start". Doesn't help does it?

You've both made the biggest step in this nasty world of D by asking for help, here. You can talk to people here and it's just as easy with a doctor as they have heard it all usually. Not all docs are good of course.

So now you know you can ask for yourself and the next steps become easier.

Go see a doc, get a decent diagnosis and then decide your next step. They are profesionally trained for a purpose you know. Self help books are often written by people just for money and little else.

You do not have to take the docs advice and you certainly should not accept meds at this stage. Ot's the diagnosis you need confirmed or not. To me the first step once you accept and acknowledge whatever the illness may be, likely depression, is talk therapy. Always take control of your treatment and always question advice. Google it. Ask others here before you go along with what advice you are given.

Never let a doc order you about. It's your life, your decisions.

Urgie's comment that feeling like that was normal is exactly how I felt. I didn't know any different until I was 35 years old. So you struck a big chord for me Urgie.

To Mck, isolating is a big sign of depression. I do it and have done it for a long time. I'm no longer lonely but I have a partner and children etc with whom I can interact without having to pretend.

You have taken a big step writing here Mck. A big one. Suggest you follow the general drift of Sheepwoman's advice with my addition of making it a must to see a doc. Self help tecniques are often just things people do as part of their normal lives.

Such as :

. exercising
. sleeping regularly (crucial but very difficult)
. eating healthy,
. maintaining contacts,
. keeping yourself occupied.

Unfortunately depression usually stops those things and by the time you realise you need them they seem like Mt Everest, too hard.

Do the self analysis thing, see a doc, think about it all and make a decision. Until you know for sure you can't move and until you accept such a diagnosis from a professional you also can't move.

Once you do those things you are on the road to recovery.

Just to give you an idea of how long it can take to decide "Yes, I have depression, I need treatment and I'm going to be absolutely serious about dealing with it", my illness started at age 10 and I was 49 when I made that final decision. nearly 40 years I wasted, avoiding the truth. Still had a reasonably good life and career but what could have been?

Move now and your recovery chances are so much better than continuing to vaccilate and wonder.

Best

Friendly.