Hello, my name is Jaimee. My introduction post can be found here.

I have recently realized that the main problem affecting me (other than the depression itself) is trying to cope with my illness, and then being able to maintain dealing with the rest of my life. I have been finding it difficult to deal with myself--getting out of my own head, trying to get ideas from my brain to my tongue, generally functioning (bathing, getting off the couch, etc)--and then also deal with being a mom and especially being a good girlfriend.

It's hard for me because my fiancee is 10 years older than I am, and I am especially young at 21. It makes it difficult because I'm just now starting out the whole 'being an adult' thing and since our personalities are so similar we often butt heads over ridiculous things. We have blowouts that end up bringing personality qualities into question, and I find myself not being able to keep up because I feel like I literally have nothing left to give; it gets to the point sometimes that I almost feel like I don't even give a D*** about my relationship anymore even though I know that's asinine.

How do you deal with your lives AND your disease? Do you deal with life first and put yourself on the back burner, or do you take care of number one and mess around with everyone else secondary to that?

Thanks a lot for any input.

I think with depression you need to deal with it first because it can get worse and then you will have trouble doing the things a mother needs to do. You need to do everything in your power to get better and stick with it and know that in time you will recover. You have to have hope and keep that hope alive. Do what you can to get better and the people who don't understand that, you don't need. I make my getting better my number one priority because if I can't function, I won't be able to do the other things or help other people.......

Hey Jamiee,

For many years now I have had this bad habit, if you could call it that where I devote to one area of my life and it goes around in some sort of circle where everything gets a bit of me, its just when it happens is a good question.

For for a fair few months now, I have really been trying to find balance in my life where I get to everything in my life and not just go off in one direction and when that breaks I have nothing.

It is really working for me, but I know I have to stay focused or I will fall in the trap again. I give a bit to my family, my relationship, my work, my hobbies, my house, my animals, my friends and DF too!! Its really helped me to have better days in my life.

I hope you can make sense of my writing,
Bit all over the place tonight,
HUGS
Isabeau