i prefer to make friends with people who also have depression, but it's hard to find them because most people who have depression tend to be pretty antisocial and it's not like they go around advertising that they have depression and im antisocial myself, so how can i meet people who suffer from depression and who live near me?

You could look for support groups in your area. You can go to the NAMI(National Alliance on Mental Illness) website or the DBSA (Depression Bipolar Support Alliance) website to find your local chapter. Both offer support groups on a regular basis.

What I've done, is be quite open about the fact that I suffer from depression. If people ask how I am, I might say "I've been better, I'm in a bout of depression right now" Then I change the subject and ask how THEY are (we all KNOW they don't want to hear details and I'm not about to spill my sad story to some person who won't understand and will look at me weirdly and then avoid me).

And I've been AMAZED at how many people have come up to me and said "I'm depressed too and I'm so glad to hear you actually say so". I've met so many other depressives that way. It takes some guts at first, but I gird myself up by reminding myself that it is NOT a moral weakness or a character flaw. It was a bit hard at first, but it gets easier and easier. Especially if you make it clear that you are not wanting to discuss it, just mention it - and change the subject! There are MANY of us, everywhere, all skulking in the shadows, lonely, wishing they could talk with someone who "gets it", ashamed to say anything (because depression tells you your experience is not valid.)

I'm really not the activist type at all, I'm too depressed and anti-social, but just making it known, is enough. I've even had "referrals" locally, just as someone else who knows what it's like... it may take a bit of time for word to get around, but it will get around.

I've lived with this for 22-odd years and I've just decided that I refuse to be stigmatised. I'm private and I'll go home to cry, but my experience is a valid one and I KNOW I'm not the only one.

I guess you might need to feel a bit better before you feel strong enough to do this, but try starting in less scary situations....

Haha, easy. Almost 4 out of the 5 people I tell about my illness say EXACTLY the same thing. "I've been depressed too!"

I'll be thinking they really don't know what depression is. I don't doubt they feel sad, but depression is an illness and has been significant to my life.

This post has been edited by kirkwuk: Jun 22 2008, 12:50 PM

Hi kirkwuk
{Nodding}, you have a point. So throw in a mention about taking medication, and make sure you say "Clinical depression" because it sounds more impressive (and actually conveys the TRUTH). If you've been in hospital, mention that too, and perhaps mention the word "psychotherapy" - none of it in detail, just mention it. That tends to shake off the "sadness" cases. Especially if you say "hospitalisation". Sometimes you can literally SEE them dry up.

There'll always be the ones who say "Oh yes, I was so depressed when I failed my exam" - and now I just nod and say "Awful, isn't it"...

If I feel sarcastic, I'll ask "so, what medication were you on for that...?"

HAHAHAHAHA! I do that too, usually they just run away asap right after.

Well as they say, laughter is the best medicine.

I remember someone I knew who suffered from SAD for twelve years, and when she told someone, that person replied; "OH YEAH! I read about that in Heat magazine! Do you know they have lightboxes for that?"

LOL!!! No sh*t, Sherlock!
And in 'Heat', no less, that impeccable, peer-reviewed journal of psychiatry!

I wonder if I would have been able to resist just reaching out and *slapping* that person.