Hey all,

I've been looking for forums where i can write my heart out and find ppl to talk to , so i'm hoping i can do that here.

For many years i've felt alone..... just know a few ppl here and there. I find that i can't really mingle with ppl well < maybe thats the downside of doing homeschooling before > furthermore , friends i know seem to be slipping away which makes me think that i don't have fate to have friends. I try my best to be a good friend....... i'm like nobody's friend. Ppl i know only calls me out when they have nothing to do. WHen i see ppl having fun with their friends, having Good friends who youcan do activities with , it hurts that i can't and don't have that. I get jealous of my bf whenever i'm with him and his friends. I feel so useless , so not wanted ..... i keep thinking maybe there's a problem with me that ppl don't want to be with me or sth ...
I so want to have at least one best friend , or a group of really good friends... but somehow i dont see that being a reality ... I feel so out of place , don't fit in ... nobody wants me ...

Being so alone, has took a toll on me ... Im never really happy , get depress quite often , cry when i'm alone in my room. I'm sick of feeling like this ...

Hi and Welcome to DF annoymousloner

Depression has a way of making us isolate and when that happens our view of the world and the people in it can become quite distorted.
Homeschooling must have been hard and isolated you so much, it must have been hard for you to connect with anyone your age?
It is good that you are here, if you can seek out and reach us, then you can find a way to break out of your shell, one day at a time.
Often it is feelings of no self worth, that lead us to believe that no one will want us.

Trace

My neighbor's 3 brothers were homeschooled (poorly, I might add, as one can barely read). Only one of them can socialize normally in new settings or make friends easily. Homeschooling has its drawbacks, especially in teen years when you need the interactions with your peers. Making friends when you're young is much easier than as you get older (fewer opportunities to meet new people). I have one true friend left from high school (40+ years ago), none from college and a "surrogate" family of 30+ years.

You can have friends. Start with your bf's friends. Do you have a "connection" with anyone in that group? We usually meet people via other people. What makes you feel left out? How are you presenting yourself (quiet, shy, sad, etc.)? When we're depressed, socializing with others is strained and stressful.

Have you considered seeing a therapist?
Sheepwoman

Hi anon. I've a similar problem to you. My only suggestion would be to maybe to look in your local paper for social groups or college etc. Do you get on with your bf friends or not ? Maybe if they have girl friends you could try mixing with them. Hope this helps

No i don't really talk to my bf's friends , the ones i've met are all guys and their gf's . can't click with them like his other friends gf's can. ( just to let ya'll know , i'm from malaysia and i'm a chinese but with a more western point of view and all ) and i homeschooled when my family moved to china at the age of 15 and i've been pretty much surrounded by foreigners so i don't really have a so called- malaysian way of thinking. And when i came back to malaysia to study, i noticed i can't click with people who are too chinese or too malaysian ( so to speak ) and my bf's friends aren't exactly the type that i can click with. ( don't know if this is relevant or not ) i've tried mixing with the gf's but somehow there's nth much for me to say with whatever they're talking about. So hanging out with my bf and his friends is also another pressure for me - i feel so left out because everyone is engaged in some kind of conversation and joking and giggling and i'm just there trying my best to keep a smile on yet deep down inside it's killing me. So almost everytime i'm out with my bf and his friends , there will be definitely a time when my mood will show and i can't keep it in and i'm worried that this will also effect our relationship. I don't want him to think that i dont like to be with his friends and all, it's just hard . do u think i should tell him about this so that he wouldn't think otherwise?

I'm usually quiet in a group, i am also shy. a lot of ppl's first impression of me is i'm cold - i don't know why but yea ...most of the time i can't think of much to say

a lot of time i've thought of going to see a therapist ... but i've had a lot of doubts as to whether it will help ....

It may be an idea to see a therapist or someone similar who can give you some professional advice or look in some books for advice on social skills. I'm not sure how old you are but socialising and social skills tend to improve as you get older, but also having similar interest to those you are with i.e. Film, sports can give you something to talk about. As far as talking to your bf, if you've been seeing the guy along time he should be ok and understand. If you've only been seeing each other a few weeks then i'd be wary of saying anything to him.

I know how you feel, im only in my early twenties and depression has taken over, i havent barely any friends now ,being lonely is horrible.

I"m 23 , and i've been with my bf for almost 3 years....

but it's hard to learn from a book no? ... i did read a few ... does not seem to be attracting a lot of ppl ..

why do some ppl have to be lonely? .... i find it hard to socialize in society now .. ppl are so superficial nowadays... yea sure if i bring myself to their level i probably could make a couple more friends ....... but whats the point to lower urself just to have a few more friends ...
and how do i cope whenever i get depress over this issue? ...... keep on crying? ...