I have been having a very rough time lately. It's due to many contributing factors. First off I was prescribed a benzo for 5 years at high doses. I was able to taper off, but have found that I may have some permanent problems from that (noticeably: memory loss, cognitive loss and overstimulated senses). Also, the big thing I've been dealing with that I've actually not had to this extent has been anxiety. I get panic level of anxiety at least once a day and it seems that I can't go out of the house on my own without thinking I'm entering a war zone. This is making it very difficult to be optimistic. I'm fighting everyday just to leave my room and go search online for a job. It also seems that whenever I picture myself doing something positive, I always assume I'll either go insane or be killed from something. This all has been relentless. I haven't worked since January of 2007. I workout very hard everyday and do things around the house. But, I'm a 27 year old man, I shouldn't be like this. I also know of a few coping mechanisms that I wasn't able to get good at (since I was always numbed from doctor prescribed benzos). I still have no idea how to get my mind out of the horribly negative thought loops. This keeps me inside all day long and not out in the world doing what I really want to do. I'm broke now and have no viable means to get help, so I'm kinda screwed in that area. What do I do?

Well, I just decided after posting this to say "f--- it, may as well get out no matter what". I did, and even though I was miserable the entire way, I made it to a mattress warehouse and applied for a job. Definitely felt better on the way back. Hopefully this keeps up. (I doubt anyone cares, oh well)

That's great, blackfloyd! I know it is so hard to get motivated and out of the house - I battle with myself on this on a daily basis. The only times I go out is mostly to work or the store. Sometimes to the park with my husband and daughter. Just wanted to let you know that people do care. :)