so i get these thoughts. they make me sound like i am insecure. they are pretty much thoughts of my boyfriend liking other girls, calling them pretty, chekcing them out, having sex with them, etc etc.
so it doesn't sound so bad..but they seriosuly take over my thoughts. when it gets into my head it will stay there for hours. no matter what i do i cannot think or anything else. i feel completely out of control of them. and i know they are stupid and unrealistic but i cannot convince my brain to think any differently. these thoughts make my heart beat faster they make me mad, sad, stresssd and depressed

it is almost like i want some kind of control over my boyfriend to have him only look at me or only notice me and it is unrealistic but i want that control so bad.

whenever i see a girl i HAVE to ask him if he thinks she is hot. he has even told me that he never looks until i point it out..but i can't help it. i just HAVE to ask the question..and if i don't it will just keep bugging me.

the next part doesn't bother me too much..but i sometimes wonder if they could be compulsions. sometimes i have to touch things a certain way..sometimes when people give me a high five i make them give me 5 more because they do not hit my hand exactly how i want.
i count my steps all the time
when i think of a sentence in my head or sometime when other people say things i will spell out every word in that sentence in my head. i do it alot.

i mean those may just be random wierd things i do, i dont know.

this sucks a lot because i cannot explain myself. those thoughts above may sound like things that everyone worries about..but i guarentee it is not as bad as me. it's not just me being alittle jealous..it is really affecting my life and making me depressed. i wish i could explain how it makes me feel better.

anyway..do you guys think i am just insecure? or so you think it is something else?

Regarding your suspicions of other women; that could hurt your relationship with your boyfriend. No one wants to be controlled and no one wants to to be under that constant scrutiny. You should discuss it with your bf and explain how you can't control these feelings that pop into your head so he'll have a better understanding of why you question him so often. Perhaps therapy can help you overcome these issues. The other things are just quirky; I do them too. I don't think its a big problem. Hope you enjoy your stay here!

we have been dating for 3 years. i talk to him A LOT about it. he knows what is going on and i can't control it. but its just to the point where talking about it doesn't make it better, and i don't get anywhere. He doesn't really understand it. and i want to go see someone..but the whole thing is i can't explain myself.

Just tell a therapist what you've posted. I'm sure they have dealt with this problem before and will know how to help you overcome this.

You seemed to explain yourself just fine in your first post. I think you should seek help from a therapist. I don't think that you have OCD, but I think you might benefit from meeting with someone who might be able to help you gain some self esteem and help you figure out how to talk back to your intrusive thoughts.