hi everyone, thought id introduce myself and drop in.
iv suffered with depression for about 5 yrs now, since i developed an eating disorder, or maybe before that i guess. anways my main prob now is the depression and my moods. i came off my meds because i felt alot better and thought it be ok, and i was for awhile. but the last few weeks iv been really mad and irritable and so my docs put me back on all the meds, and im thinking maybe my irritability etc was withdrawal symptoms. i feel slightly better today then yesturday but still think about doing mad things just to hurt myself sometimes. i saw my doc yesturday and she thinks its coz iv been at home too long again (my parents have a long history of being abusive), my self esteem tends to plumet when im at home coz im constantly being told how stupid and useless i am and how iv got no friends and noone likes me-which is kinda true i suppose but they dont hav to say it.
i dont feel like i can face people or work at the mo, but i kno i hav to o well.
thanks for listening.

Izzy

Some meds can cause these thoughts when you start them, explain to the Dr how you are feling today.

Please keep posting

Hi and Welcome to DF Lizzy

It sounds like the situation with your parents is not a healthy one. That in itself can be daunting and cause depression.
Many meds have withdrawel side affects and must be weaned of in conjunction with a doc, but I am glad that you are back at the doc's. Please explain everything to the doc. You did not say which meds you were on. Please have a look through the medications rooms and you may get some help there too, as to side effects, stopping and starting up.

Trace

thanks guys,
im on citalopram and a mood stabilizer (cambamazepine), its just the anti d that seems to have horrid effects when i start it (and maybe when i come off it), so im trying to start gradually again but because iv been so depressed and having suicidal thoughts and stuff my doc kinda wants me to get up to a higher dosage quickly- eek.
i just feel so bad annoying my doc the whole time, and feel like i shouldnt really be there because im not really ill like some people, and i feel like im wasting her time. anyways she said to let her know if i hurt myself again or want her to refer me to see a psychiatric nurse, if not to go back and see her in a month-that seems like ages away but i kno i have to try cope on my own.

Hi Lizzy

Try not to worry about bugging your doc, that's what they are there for. Try and write down your moods and feelings, monitor them and if things start to get really out of hand call your doc. We are here for you, so you are not doing this alone.

Trace

Hi Lizzy ,


Your doctor is there to help you, and she cares about you. Try not to let yourself get worked up over bothering her. I email my pdoc all the time. He loves to hear from me, and it helps him to continue treating me. I have found that his one real passion in life is to help people like me settle down and love life. Give the meds a bit to start working again, and trust them to continue helping like they were before. A higher dosage might be a good idea. Remember that this illness is not our fault! We deserve treatment! We are in this together. Stay strong!



Not alone, Never alone!


IowaGuy

thanks for ur replies, i like the way u guys refer to depression as more of an illness, i guess people round here just think i should snap out of it and that im choosing to be miserable.
i feel really weird at the moment, depressed and dissociative. i dont know what to do with myself most the time, i just do nothing, or sleep.

Defidently read up on it, because it is a illness. I was the kind of person who would have never thought I could be a depressive, but from the onset of OCD and extreme anxiety it came out of nowhere so after all my studying i'm convinced it's a illness. Some people would argue against it, but the evidence is there to support it. So get the help you need, and don't let anybody make yout hink you don't deserve help or you can just snap out of it. For the people who don't understand the illness, they'll think it's just "feeling blue," but when it's pervasive for weeks if not longer then you know it's a problem.

Read up on the symptoms, and educate yourself about it so you understand what it is and how to fight it. you have the internet, and it's a great tool to find the information you need. Keep us posted!

i think i pretty much understand it , its just everyone else who doesnt