Well, I am not too sure where to start. I currently live in Canada in a healthy marriage and a great job. Great friends and family, personally I could not really ask for a better life. The problem or downside in my life is my dad. He is severely depressed and usually his answer is booze and to keep everthing inside.

He grew up in an alcoholic family. Got married at a young age to my mother. Alcohol was always a problem except for a few years he quit. They were the happiest times for my mother when he was not drinking, as she endured a very tough life. About 10 years ago she got cancer and died in 2000. At this time my father took to the bottle very hard and did not work for a year. My sister and I tried many things, but to no avail. Both were very young. He ended up finding a woman we did not approve of because all she did was gamble, drink and smoke but was on disability. Couldn't work but she could go to the bar! How does that work? And it was only a few months after mom passed away and he never really dealt with here death. Eventually he got back on his feet and back to work. But the drinking came and went periodically for about 5 years until my sister and I gave him an ultimatuem, the bottle or us. He went to AA and he was doing ok for a few years. Then last fall his dad passed away. They were best friends and worked together for 25 years. He took it hard but was doing ok. Then my grampa's girlfriend sued my dad for money in the estate, even though she was not in the will and did not live with my grampa. She did not have a leg to stand on, but this just added to the stress. Then my dad's woman who I never got along with left him for another man and wants 50k from him. This all happened in the month which my mother passed away ( always a tough month for him) Needless to say, he hit the bottle hard for a couple of weeks until I went home to sober him up. It has been about 6 days since he has been drinking. He has a scared feeling, panic attacks and hates feeling alone. Depression runs in the family and he is severley depressed. I know he has not gotten over my moms death and has not dealt with it. When he was drunk he wanted to take a sleeping bag and lay down at my moms grave for the night. At that time, he was really feeling sorry for himself. I didn't get mad a him, I just wouldn't let him drink and he just needed a friend at the time. Now that he is sober I would like to help him, he knows he needs help, he is just not sure where to turn, I'm not sure either. I know he has to make that first step, and he knows it. What should he do, where should he go.? He just started taking some antidepressants. Through his work he has benefits to help pay for help. Is there anybody else with a similiar story wishing to share. I am sorry, I just don't have time for the next week to search through the forums. I know I could find alot of help here. Thanks to everyone. Have a great day.

hi johnnifer, bless you for being such a loving son.

i also am a recovering alcoholic with depression. AA helped me to quit drinking and medication and therapy have helped me with my depression.

i would say to your father to first return to AA, since that is a familiar place and to conquer the depression, he can't drink. and for you, have you tried Alanon? it's very helpful for the families of alcoholics. you would learn how you can help your dad to help himself.

find a good psychiatrist for medication and a therapist to work on the reasons for the depression.

i wish you and your dad the best. he is fortunate to have you and i can tell you love him a lot.

you also might want to post this in Parents and Children's Depression Central