I've been wanting to say so many things that I've kept locked up inside yet I can't tell anyone I know.
I just feel this horrible horrible endless hopelessness which I can't get away from. It's always there,on my mind. I havn't been happy for over 2 years and yet I'm almost scared to get out. I'm so used to everything now and I don't want to be but at the same time I don't know if I can cope without this.
It's not just depression either. I've also had an eating disorder for about 3 years now, which i think may have caused the depression. I don't have any control over the starving and the constant exercise, yet because I am not underweight no one will take me seriously and try and help me.I also have panic attacks/Anxiety/Inferiority disorders and I don't know what to do anymore.It's all so dark and I need to get out and the only way out I see is suicide.
I already tried to kill myself 2 weeks ago and failed but the urge never really went away and I don't know what to do anymore.There's noone to talk to who will understand and I feel so alone.I'm drowning in it.

Hey, you've taken a great first step in talking about it here. You aren't alone .. many of us here have been through much the same.

For me, I found it easiest to talk to anonymous internet strangers, and then to talk to people I had just met (including a therapist), and only last could I start talking to the people I knew closest; that seems backwards .. but it also makes sense, because I had less to lose.

So, keep talking, keep talking, keep talking! We're here to listen.

Suicide is a very final answer: have you tried every other avenue?

Are you seeing a therapist?

If not, I strongly suggest that you consider it! Professional help can do a ton for you, both working on the eating disorder and working on this depression which you are experiencing as hopelessness and withdrawal and darkness.

If you are still experiencing active suicide ideation, see the scrolling banner at the top of the page: CALL THAT NUMBER! A suicide crisis center should have trained professionals who can help you work through the immediate ideation .. and more importantly they should be able to recommend psychiatric services in your area who should be able to help you.

If you can't do that, ask your best friend to take you to the E.R.