This is my third day in a row. I'm feeling the guilt, but I seriously can not go to work. My anxiety is taking a toll, along with my depression.

Somebody tell me that it's ok. I just don't want to feel guilty. I am seeing my doc for a medical certificate again.

You have a legitimate illness that is making it impossible for you to work. If you had the flu, you'd call in sick, and depression/anxiety is no less real. I'm glad to hear you're seeing your doctor soon. Let go of the guilt and try to rest.

This post has been edited by suburgatory: Apr 9 2008, 12:00 PM

I've taken "mental heath" days off from work with either a note from my GP or psychiatrist. We all need the occasional break to care for ourself.

Are you seeing a mental health provider for treatment (meds/therapy) of your anxiety/depression? If not, please consider doing so.
Sheepwoman

Definitely let go of that guilt. It will probably end up making you feel worse. Try to find something relaxing to do, something that will help take your mind off of all of the stresses in your life.

Thank you both. :)

I'm seeing a counselor. It's an on and off thing for the last three months. My next appointment c/ her is Sunday. I am planning on returning to work tomorrow. The thing is, there's a lady at my work who questioned me infront of my colleagues about why I was away the 'last' time I was mentally ill. She was quite rude about it. I couldn't stand her presence, and I try to avoid her. I guess I'm feeling the anxiety about seeing her again tomorrow morning. What I'll do is go into work very early, and then avoid the group of people I have to meet in the morning. It gives me such anxiety. You see, I have to pick up my work schedule (patient list) at the office where all the staff congregate. The last thing I need is this woman griping about my leave of absence infront of my coworkers. It's embarrassing and humiliating to me. That is my biggest worry.

How would you deal with a woman like that without revealing that you're suffering from mental health problems?

Nosy people tick me off. They don't need to know why you were off from work. If you feel a need to,Tell them you were ill and let it go. I've told people like that that it's none of their business why I was off a few days and that I don't ask why they were off and then walk away. Cuts them off immediately and they'll probably not bother you anymore. Your co-workers may respect/appreciate you more for standing up to this obnoxious busy-body. Your co-workers may have the same problem with her. They don't need to know you have MH problems, don't say anything about it.
Sheepwoman

so get this. 10 years ago or so, person next to me at work says he wasn't sick, he took a mental health day. (probably a nice spring day after a long winter or such.) Good worker, more person related than techincal etc, but ok. I was shocked. That's not done. He went on to other jobs and teams....

Couple years ago he comes back as manager. So, if I take a mental health day during the deep doldrums of winter, I don't feel guilty, I just remember what he did.

If it does become a habit, something to review with your Doc of course!

mm

I have taken mental health days off numerous times. My husband is my boss so he knows when I just need to chill a few days and get back on track. I still do feel guilty, like I'm not pulling my weight but he understands and trys to reasure me that its okay.

Don't feel guilty.....

Suziee

Every time I feel the guilt attacks coming on, I reread this quote and the responses on this thread. It has helped me quite a bit. I took an entire week off work. I told them I had the flu. The good thing is that somebody two weeks ago took a week off as well, and I don't feel that badly. I can hide my depression from them under the guise that I was physically ill. From a cynical point of view, I know there will be people who are just not going to believe that I was sick. There will be the odd person who will judge me as a malingerer. Whatever. No wonder many people with depression do not want to disclose their illness to coworkers. It's because of the constant worry of being judged and stigmatized that they're using depression as a crutch, an excuse not to go to work.

I am also going to get my bloodworks done. It could be thyroid related, as I am always fatigued.

I just want to say that depression and anxiety-related issues have nearly ruined my career. My supervisor knows I have anxiety, but not depression. The thing is, I can't even recognize myself. I never used to skip work because I was highly anxious (panic attacks) and depressed. I seriously don't even know who I am anymore. My confidence level has dropped significantly, I have trouble sleeping, and I worry excessively about what people think of me in my new job. It's this constant belittling of myself that has driven me to a deep dark corner where I don't want to face my own battles at work. I deal with a tyrant/bully at work, and I also am not feeling connected to my coworkers. I feel so detached, lonely, and I second guess myself all the time at work. It's nuts, literally. I can't handle this constant depression anymore without serious help and support. And that's why I'm going to TRY AGAIN to beat this. Like I haven't been trying for the past two years since it all started. :( I wish depression wouldn't rear its ugly head time and again....and ALWAYS at the WORST time.

Please don't let that woman intimidate you on your job. If you are in the US, there are HIPPA laws where you can keep medical conditions private (my husband LOVES to throw that up in his boss' face when they ask why he has a doctor's appointment!) You have a right to privacy. The next time that woman says something (I'm not sure if she's your boss or supervisor) just say, "Thank goodness for Hippa, huh?" If she's not a supervisor, let her know your bosses have your doctor's note. That's all that is needed. You shouldn't feel pressure from a coworker to tell them why you have a sick day. And remember, take care of yourself. What good would you be at work having anxiety attacks? Not worth it at all.

I hope you feel better soon.

'Retreat1975'
You need to do what is best for you... Today marks a week that I have been off work. I got out of the hospital last Saturday for aq terruble Mirgraine Headache. I can tell you I believe it was totally caused by stress and anexiety. I have been stressed at home and at work and my body just couldn't take it.... It made me listen .... It was telling me I needed a break. I finally had no other choice but to listen when the pain was so bad i couldn't lift my head. We have to take care of our selves. I am glad to hear you took the week. Talk with your p doc. Also talk with us as much as you need to. We are always here...

Its absolutely okay. I took four consecutive days last week, and it helped immensely. Instead of sitting at the office stressing that I wasn't getting my work done, I took PTO, and relaxed.

There is nothing there to feel guilty about.

Thank you, sweetdream angel. (((hugs))). I will definitely be posting more if I feel like venting. This has helped me tremendously.

Thank you, amaroq. I really appreciate you sharing that. It helps to know I am not the only one taking extended time off. Much appreciated!

You're welcome!

((((Retreat))))

Your welcome this is a great place. I have found great comfort and support. Welcome..... We are here for you...

Here's an update on what's been going on. I went to see my doctor on the weekend, and she recommended that I take a few more weeks off for mental stress leave. My husband came with me to the dr's office so that he could understand how badly my depression and anxiety has affected my life, since working at this hospital. My two boys are ecstatic that I am going to be home with them more often, but I really don't even have the energy to pay attention to their needs. I feel so inadequate right now, and I often wish I could just take off on a mini-vacation in the tropics to unwind, and get away from everyone and everything.

It's hard to believe that depression alone can crush your physical stamina, your mental stamina, and your spirit. I have never felt this badly in my entire life. I used to be a great coworker, always enthusiastic about the next day of work, I got along with people, and I even didn't put too much pressure on myself. I had a natural enthusiasm about life in general.

I am going for some blood works this Saturday to determine whether this is thyroid related, or anything else that may be screwing up my serotonin levels. I can't stand this anymore.

I haven't been back to work yet for almost three weeks, and even when I'm home, I fret about what other people will think of my absence. I can't help associating the stigma of depression with 'weakness', 'failure', 'incompetence', etc. But I try to remember that this disease will run its course for a certain time, and then it will be over. I just hate the relapses. :(

I'm right there with you, Retreat. **empathy**