Hey folks im new this and this is my first topic im posting.

Recently i had a panic attack in front of one of my best friends, ever since this happened ive been terrified of talking to him. Im a 26 year old guy and known my friend for about 10 years

I actually told him i was had an anxiety problem and was on meds (when drunk) expecting this would help but if anything its made things worse

I cant look at him and begin to panic

Ive been on tablets various for bout 5 years currently mirtazapine and just stopped propanolol as they made me too sleepy. Ive just started cbt management with a nurse once a week but feel like things are getting worse fast

Im at a total loss on this one. ive always been kinda funny with certain people but now its started happening with close friends , im scared ill end up with no friends at all.

anyone got any advice how i can break this problem?, i really want to be able to speak to my friends again

thanks is advance

atb Col5150

Hi Col

Welcome to the Depression Forums!

I'm really sorry you are having this problem. In my experience, what tends to happen with panic attacks is that once you have one in a certain situation, you then begin associating that situation with panic and it becomes more likely that you will panic again in that situation, and so on.....I was going through this for a while and it's horrible, so I really empathise with you.

What helped me was medication. In my case, not anti-anxiety medication, but an anti-depressant. This has really helped knock my panic attacks on the head. I'm not sure what medication you are taking right now, but I would definitely review it with your doctor because it sounds like you need more help. It's really crucial to treat panic attacks before they get more out of hand and start taking over our lives even further.

Also, I'm sure you know this already, but it's definitely not a good idea to get drunk when you are on this medication. If you find the right meds, they should be enough for you to manage the anxiety and panic without needing alcohol, which is just going to mess up your already frazzled system. (I definitely don't mean to "preach" because I completely understand the lure of alcohol and have been there myself. I just want you to give yourself the best chance of recovering from these panic attacks!)

With regard to your friend, I would try explaining the situation to him again. What happens when you speak to him on the phone? Do you panic then too, or is it only when you see him? If you're ok on the phone with him, then that could be the best time to explain all this to him again. When you next see him, perhaps you could meet with some other people too, so that you don't have to have an intense one-on-one interaction with him?

I think it's GREAT you are starting CBT. This can really help a lot. I really hope you can get your meds sorted out too. Panic attacks are definitely very treatable, so please don't lose hope on this one!

Wishing you all the best, Col! Please keep us posted.

Take care.

Joanna

This post has been edited by Joanna: Mar 31 2008, 10:29 AM

Hi thanks for your reply, i know it sounds ridiculus that im having this problem. My problem seems to be only with certain individuals. I can talk to a lot of people and feel comfortable and relaxed-ish. Then with certain other people im terrified of speaking with them. This hasn't really bothered me in the past to be honest and i know thats a kinda selfish way to look at it) ive just kept to the guys in work i dont have a problem talking to for years. But when its starting to happen with my friends it really worries me. I know its just beacause i told my friend the way things were and im now for lack of a better word embarassed. This forum seems great and full of lots of really helpful info.

with reagards to alcohol i try not to drink to much as i know it affects my mood, last sunday i went out to the pub from 7 til 11 then onto a snooker hall till 1 and finally ended up with a few friends back at mine til 6am (this was the evening i told my friend how things were) id not drank like this since i was a young guy and on monday night i openly cried to my wife i felt that bad (id never did anything like this before) i now realise the reason i felt so D*** bad and worthless was probably down to the amount of alcohol i consumed on the sunday night before. After looking through the forum pages on alcohol its made me wonder a bit. Ive been on medication for around 5 years all kinds of crap but have never attempted to give up drinking. If anything id say whilst i was on effexor xl venlefaxine i would say i was probably an alcoholic as i drank evry day at least 5 or six beers a day, since ive been off it i have a least a beer maybe 2 a night then the weekend comes so i usually have agood few on a friday and sat

I appreciate being able to vent my crap here as with the exception of my wife and pal ive never been able to spill

Its good to know there are others out there in the same boat

Col5150

((((((((((Col))))))))))

There are plenty of us here in the same boat I don't think the problem you're having is ridiculous at all, but I know what you mean about feeling that way. I have a phobia about elevators and I cannot ride in them and always take the stairs no matter what floor I need to get to. I feel ridiculous about that sometimes, but this phobia is very real to me, so in terms of how I'm feeling in that situation, avoiding the elevator and taking the stairs makes total sense to me. I just know it must seem ridiculous to other people who don't know what a phobia feels like......

The great thing about coming to this website is that it's a safe place to talk about things that people in real life might not understand. I find it so comforting to know I'm not the only one going through some of this stuff.

CBT can be really helpful with anxiety and panic in combination with medication (sometimes CBT works on it's own). I really hope you get on well with this therapy. Perhaps you could speak to your doctor about trying another medication specifically for anxiety? I think that alcohol is often used by people to "calm their nerves" in social situations (I know I used to use alcohol like this). But you're right that the irony of that is that if you drink too much, you end up with shredded nerves the next day and feeling 10 times worse.

Really hope you start noticing some positive improvements soon ((((((Col))))))

Take care.

Joanna

Hi, Col. Yup, Joanna is right. You know you aren't alone with this sort of thing at all. It's not ridiculous at all. Good to talk about it. I would say more but I'm too anxious! Sorry if that seems a really bad attempt at um 'being light'. :o Seriously I know it is very difficult. It can get so much easier though. Yes, its true not everyone can understand. It hurts sometimes but please try not to feel bad about yourself. The anxiety is there for a reason. Maybe you can figure out what it is about the certain people (or situation or place, etc...) that triggers anxiety. Oh, wait, you said because you told them about your anxiety and that it caused you embarassment. So you already figured that one out. So many things can help. Though some things help one more than another, seems certain things tend to help most everyone eventually to some degree. I hope you find what works for you. Maybe you could look through the anxiety threads here about what has worked for people and see what stands out to you. Wishing the very best for you.
Violet

My Dr. just put me on Mirtazapine (remeron) and I can't believe what a difference it made in just one day. My anxiety is so much lower.

I know that I drank alcohol because of my anxiety and it helped at the time, but the next day I would be even more anxious. I read somewhere that people with GAD tend to turn to alcohol to relieve the symptons, I know I did.

I have not had a drink for 2 years but was extremly close to getting a bottle but instead I went to the a Psychiatrist and he presecribed me the remeron... Boy, I was hanging on a string.. 1 drink and I would have been back to square one again.

I would suggest that you don't drink but you have to decide that for yourself. I know that no one could tell me to do it, it was a choice I had to make..

Good luck...

Suziee

Almost forgot. I don't like talking to friends or family when I'm in my anxious mode which has been for about 9 months now. I think the reason is because they know me so well and I am afraid that they will notice that I am not being normal. If I am talking to a stranger they don't know the difference, they probably just think I'm rude.

I think that the fact that you're in therapy is great, you can explore why you have these anxieties and maybe understand why these things happen. I believed that other people and friends made me happy, not me. I am still learning a lot about this, but it has been a major problem for me over the years. I am also in cbt with a little bit of dbt...too many abbreviations, but it seems to be helping with the endless negative thinking and anxiety.

Hi Col5150,

I was wondering how much stopping the propanolol might have contributed to how you are feeling now. Perhaps you could just take a lower dose to side step the tiredness. I really feel that many times our meds need to be tailored to our needs. But I would definitely talk with your MH professional about this change. But mirtazapine really helped with my anxiety right from the get go, the first day I KNEW that it was the drug for ME. What dosage of the mirt. are you taking, sometimes the lower doses (under 30 mg.) sometimes causes drowsiness. Either way, it sounds like you need an adjustment of your meds.

As for your friends, do you have an issue with them, like feeling guilty for having depression/anxiety? That could be why you feel neutral around strangers but feel uncomfortable around your friends. Self stigma can really be a problem for us, even when we are starting to feel better, we still remember that we might have burdened those around us in some way when all they are concerned about is that you are feeling better.

Keep us posted, hope you find some solutions soon...

Peace and Love.... wayne

Thanks for all the replies on this one, ive spoken to my friend several times in the last few days (not about anxiety) just general chat and although im still feeling nervous as anything i think its a step forward. The cognitve therapy really is going well although i feel it may have made it a little worse to begin with because it kinda forces you to think about the way your acting all the time.

Since i came off the propranolol and halved my mirtazapine im much more awake. Literally im sleeping less which is definately a good thing. Im really looking forward to hopefully getting back to the way things should be

Ive spent the last five years avoiding certain places and people. I walk certain routes in work to avoid folk and im looking to challenge this, its going to be hard but i know itl be worth it one day

Thanks again folks, this really is a great place to come talk about stuff

Col

Suziee

i meant to ask, you mentioned you havent had a drink in two years. How did you manage to stay social without drinking. I mean like if your out at the pub , what did you tell your friends your reason for not drinking was?. I wish i could drive this would be a great excuse but unfortnately dont.

Im thinking of giving it a try, i just dont really know what to use as an excuse for not drinking

Thanks Col