Hey guys/gals,

I don't know if it's just me but do any of you guys feel that self-help books or anything related to the self-help industry is crap? No, I'm not knocking this forum because real people actually actually interact, but the books,tapes, and products are just like a drug which you absorb, you become a high on motivation, and pretty soon you crash and need a new book or tape. Depressed people like you and me are also already introverted and sensitive so further material forcing them to think about THEMSELVES will make people even MORE depressed. YES, self-help makes you even more depressed because you try what the book says for a little while and then you feel even more guilty if you don't follow what it says. Plus, even Napoleon Hill says only 1% of the people who have read his books achieve success meaning 99% of the people out there are wasting hundreds of hours on products that will only benefit them temporarily meaning all those hours you spent reading those books have been a waste.

The reason why I am saying this is because since I was 16 yrs old I've been reading self-help literature and was always fascinated by the human potential. I began devouring books and tapes which honestly I think caused my depression. I mean, these books FORCE you to constantly think and think and think about yourself, your life situation, how you measure up to what the author is saying, etc... I mean, the Key to happiness is to NOT THINK and LIVE in the MOMENT which self-help completely annihilates. I've spent hundreds of hours on self-help and looking back on it it was all a waste and it made me even more introverted and depressed.

Hi darthangel:
I hear you and can relate to what you are feeling. There have been many "self-help" books that have been a total waste of time (and how about all those "lose weight" books; $$$ that are worth nothing!).
I have found that I look for a topic of a self-help book and I temporarily adopt its principles and apply my life situation to it. I can "work through it" for weeks or even months and then I "graduate" and move onto another "theory" or self-help process...

For example: My personal path in the past few years using self-help books...
Starting with marriage difficulties: for the longest time, I thought that relationships between men and women could be helped if we "gave each other what we needed" WELL, that is true to a point and even good to a point (Love and Respect-E. Eggerichs, For women only and For men only-Shaunte Feldhahn and a slew of christian "marriage" books with all different theories on relationships) We even went to a "marriage enrichment" seminar and had fun.

Actually before and after this I had read the Verbal Abuse books by Patricia Evans (she also has a website and forum) and I really followed the guidelines given for about 4 months until my dh was healed (REALLY) of acting VA and EA toward me for several years. HE GOT IT finally!!! So I am "done" reading those. Steven Stosny's book: You don't have to take it anymore was insightful too.

NOW, I think I have FOUND a book and therapy for inner child work; Healing Rage by Ruth King...I am ready to "delve inside of me" and let out the rage than has disabled me. THIS is the path that I believe will lead me directly to my healing with counseling as a support and guide.

Well, in sharing this, I hope that you can see that NO ONE BOOK has the answer to the BIG question but I believe that our healing comes in answering small questions, one at a time. Self-help books have answered a few questions and then I move on...I think in that, they serve their purpose.

Wishing you peace and healing on your journey...

I don't know about them causing depression, but I have yet to come across one that ever helped me. I avoid self-help books with a passion now.

That is a very insightful posting you have made . There may be a great deal of truth in your theory. In many ways, I am like you. I have read a multitude of self-help books, probably to no avail.
Greg

I've read a few books that combine spirituality and self-help, and I think they've helped me a lot. The books I go for are the ones that help us to live in the moment with gratitude and positive expectation. But I guess they weren't from the actual self-help section of the bookstore, but rather the spirituality section. I agree with what you say about being subjected to the egos and judgments of the self-help authors, those people who keep popping up on shows like Oprah with some great "new" system. I think sometimes they complicate the heck out of something that should be so simple and intuitive.

I can't stdn self-help books or tapes; not only do I find them cheesy and a waste of money, but I always find myself fostering a growing hatred and skepticism of the author as I make my way through their stupid self-help books - especially the ones who include photographs of themself on the back showing a conceited smile. They do it for the money.

self-help books could be crap and thats why this forum came into being.

I agree that self-help books are pretty useless on the whole. Too many of them take that "snap out of it" attitude (in the nicest possible way, of course), like it's that simple. Maybe it is for some people, but they've never worked for me. The odd one has given me hope for the first few pages, only to see it dissipate by page 10.

I find that a lot of them seem to discard the possibility that depression can be due to biological factors. We can't all will ourselves out of it.

Self-help books are just like CBT for me. I start full of hope and actually feel an inkling of positivity only to come crashing back down soon after. All they do in the end is foster resentment for the fact that there are actually people out there for whom feeling good is as simple as reading a book.